issue144 just paste it

candylanUID：2288485

just paste it here

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 539          TIME: 上午 12:42:00          DATE: 2007-3-25

While not denying that artist contribute to make the world more splendid, I regard the statement above too absolute, which totally turns a blind eye to critics' contribution.  The world benefits from the critic, as equal. The great achievements of these brilliant artists can't be made without the help from critics.  To be a distinguised critic is no easier than to be a famous artist, even though the critics often live in the shadow of these artists.

The work of critics is also quite demanding that not everyone is qualified to be a critic. In the first place, the critics should take a good command of knowledge within novels, films, music-- --- that is everything that can be defined as a form of arts. Arts are not isolated from each other. To from a comprehensive view, the critics should be familiar with them all. Secondly, the knowledge within the arts is not enough to judge and value certain works of arts. Keen perception of the social world and sensitivity towards to psychology of these artists are also crucial to be a good critic, who can even be called “polymath”. An artist can only engross in his or her work, whereas a critic need to be responsive to all the fields in the world in order to value a certain works impartially and correctly.

Even the qualification of a critic is higher than that of a artist, critics' contribution is easily neglected by common people, for their works other than certain critiques published are usually invisible. The literary salon, popular in the 19th century in Europe, make together various celebrities in the field of literary.  Usually, those writers would take out their unpublished novels opened to public discussion. Many influential critics at that time would give their advices orally. Probably, some suggestions even enlightened those writers and inspired certain great achievements in the world.  Since no record about the content of these literary salons can be checked, we can't definitely say critics contribute nothing valuable to the world. And the critics' contribution would not turn out to be a tangible painting, novels, music, as would the artists. So nothing can be left to gauge their contribution.   Lord Chesterfield once said that “knowledge gives weight, achievements gives luster, most people see rather than weigh”. So the critics were often dwarfed by the luster of artists.

Apart from that impetus originated from the critics to advance the development of art itself, the critics also help common people to better savor these great achievements in arts. In the works of arts may hide certain values, the values that could otherwise be overlooked by artists. So it is relied upon critics that these hidden values be explored and exposed to the public. For example, the critics discover the vibrancy of life from Van Gogh's short brushstroke and sharply contrasted colors. The expression of arts is too elusive that the work from the critics is demanded to convey the hidden values to the public.

As it is said above, the work of critics is no easy. We can't judge the value of something only according to some tangible things. The great advance of arts can't be made without the contribution of critics.

iq28UID：2152875

While not denying that artist contribute(s) to make the world more splendid, I regard the statement above too absolute, which totally turns a blind eye to critics' contribution. The world benefits from the critic, as equal. The great achievements of these brilliant artists can't be made without the help from critics.  To be a distinguised critic is no easier than to be a famous artist, even though the critics often live in the shadow of these artists. (删.后面body再说这些论证.不用在开头段讲这么多.)

The work of critics is also quite demanding that not everyone is qualified to be a critic. (需要论述的是哪种人能够给社会留下永恒的价值,并不是论述评论家是如何的人.你的这个ts可以作为下面的论证的组成部分) In the first place, the critics should take a good command of knowledge within novels, films, music-- --- that is everything that can be defined as a form of arts. (与事实不符.评论家可以专精一门) Arts are not isolated from each other. To from a comprehensive view, the critics should be familiar with them all. (没有提到评论家如何给社会带来价值) Secondly, the knowledge within the arts is not enough to judge and value certain works of arts. (这个分ts仍然有跑题的嫌疑) Keen perception of the social world and sensitivity towards to psychology of these artists are also crucial to be a good critic, who can even be called “polymath”. An artist can only engross in his or her work, whereas a critic need to be responsive to all the fields in the world in order to value a certain works impartially and correctly. (有点和创造永恒价值接近了.不过还是没有正面提到.这一段整个跑掉了.观念其实很新颖.可惜)

Even the qualification of a critic is higher than that of a artist, critics' contribution is easily neglected by common people, for their works other than certain critiques published are usually invisible. (新颖的ts) The literary salon, popular in the 19th century in Europe, make (时态) together various celebrities in the field of literary.  Usually, those writers would take out their unpublished novels opened to public discussion. Many influential critics at that time would give their advices orally. Probably, some suggestions even enlightened those writers and inspired certain great achievements in the world. (例子非常形象地用例子阐述清楚ts什么意思) Since no record about the content of these literary salons can be checked, we can't definitely say critics contribute nothing valuable to the world. And the critics' contribution would not turn out to be a tangible painting, novels, music, as would the artists. (立马由例子推广) So nothing can be left to gauge their contribution. Lord Chesterfield once said that “knowledge gives weight, achievements gives luster, most people see rather than weigh”. So the critics were often dwarfed by the luster of artists. (观念非常新颖.例子和论证联系紧密.非常bingo的段落.基本没有可以改的地方.我也要学习了!:) 可惜你第一段其实只要往贡献上面靠的话也会是很好的段落)
(我觉得写新颖的观念有助于把阅卷人的注意力从找你论证上面的缺陷转移到欣赏你的观念.aw毕竟还是一个找亮点而不是找缺点的考试)

Apart from that impetus originated from the critics to advance the development of art itself, the critics also help common people to better savor these great achievements in arts. (转接很流畅,body之间层次清晰.good) In the works of arts may hide certain values, the values that could otherwise be overlooked by artists. So it is relied upon critics that these hidden values be explored and exposed to the public. For example, the critics discover the vibrancy of life from Van Gogh's short brushstroke and sharply contrasted colors. The expression of arts is too elusive that the work from the critics is demanded to convey the hidden values to the public. (观念不算新颖,但是论证仍然没有太多好挑剔的.跟上一段一样.大家issue写的都跟你一样我就轻松了呵呵)

As it is said above, the work of critics is no easy. We can't judge the value of something only according to some tangible things. The great advance of arts can't be made without the contribution of critics. (结尾有点仓促.是时间不够了么?)

第一个body真是可惜了
否则我觉得应该有5
lz的issue已经写的很好了
加油
多多攻argu吧
很有希望高分
记得考完回来帮我改作文呵呵

candylanUID：2288485

谢谢版主了，限时写的，仓促……我想讨论下我第一段的内容，我基本思路是，首先当个“出色”的评论家其实是很不容易，因为很多人觉得评论家这种人没什么本领，其次是他对艺术的贡献，然后是对大众的贡献……难道第一个观点偏掉了？

candylanUID：2288485

我把我修改后的贴上了，只是语句润色了下，其他大观点没换……

While not denying the luster from these artists dazzle the whole world, I think the speaker above concedes too hastily, who totally turns a blind eye to critics' contribution. We should attach due weight to these critics, whose contribution is usually combined with the achievements of artists. Besides that, these critics also serve as a guide for the public to explore the essence of these art works. And with regards to becoming an excellent critic, the requirements are even more demanding than that of some artists.

Not everyone is qualified to be a critic, whose works involves more than judging something. In the first place, the critics should take a good command of knowledge within arts fields--- --- novels, films, music--- --- that is everything that can be defined as the form of arts. To from a comprehensive view, the critics should be familiar with all of them in that art is an inseparable integration, in itself. Secondly, Keen perception of the society and sensitivity towards to psychology of these artists are also necessary for a good critic, who, in certain aspects, can even be called “polymath”.  As an artist, he or she can only engross in the fields, which captures his or her interest. In order to be a critic, however, the person has to be engaged in various fields. It is by adopting such an interdisciplinary knowledge that critics explore the values, polish them and eventually spread them to the public.

Even though the work of critics is quite demanding, their contribution is easily ignored by the public, for such kind of work, which really creates something valuable for the society, is usually invisible. For example, various literary salons, prevailing in Europe in 19th century, invited famous writers and critics at that time to exchange their opinions and share something in common.  Usually, some writers’ unpublished novels would be taken as a main subject under discussion. Many influential critics would give their advices, verbally or nonverbally. Probably, some inspired writers would absorb these advices and modify their works, which turned out to be a great success in history. Great achievements in the arts usually call for joint efforts from both the artists and critics. The reason why people usually neglect the part played by the critics   lies in that they would not directly bring those tangible things other than some critiques to the society, whereas artists would. Lord Chesterfield once said that “knowledge gives weight, achievements gives luster, most people see rather than weigh”. It is no surprising that the critics were often dwarfed by the luster of artists.

Apart from that impetus originated from the critics to advance the development of art, the instructions from these critics can also help the public to better savor these great achievements in art. It is commonly accepted that in the works of arts may hide certain values, the values that could otherwise be overlooked by artists, not to mention the public. So it is relied upon the work from critics that these hidden values be explored and exposed to the public. For example, the critics interpret short brushstroke and intense colors in Van Gogh’s painting as the expression of vibration of life, which dispelled the wrong stereotype held by most people that his paintings were meaningless and deviated the traditional notion about impressionism. Therefore, the critics are important and even crucial to convey the hidden values to the public, whose understanding the ideas of artists are usually beyond.

As it is said above, to be a good critic is not easy. The great advance of arts can't be made without the contribution of critics. They do deliver something valuable to the society, but people usually ignore it.

[ 本帖最后由 candylan 于 2007-3-26 19:24 编辑 ]

iq28UID：2152875

原帖由 candylan 于 2007-3-26 19:22 发表
谢谢版主了，限时写的，仓促……我想讨论下我第一段的内容，我基本思路是，首先当个“出色”的评论家其实是很不容易，因为很多人觉得评论家这种人没什么本领，其次是他对艺术的贡献，然后是对大众的贡献……难道 ...

很多人觉得评论家没有本事
题目中出现了么?

题目中让我们探讨的只是哪种人提供了永恒价值

你第一个body中间连价值都没有谈到

个人觉得偏了 而且偏得比较严重

candylanUID：2288485

那么，我该过后，这么写可以吗？正是因为评论家有这种广博的知识， 然后他才能有下面两个比较重要的给于价值的作用

candylanUID：2288485

他的两个重大价值是建立在他本身的比较好的知识积累上的……

iq28UID：2152875

原帖由 candylan 于 2007-3-26 19:27 发表
那么，我该过后，这么写可以吗？正是因为评论家有这种广博的知识， 然后他才能有下面两个比较重要的给于价值的作用

我觉得可以在第一个body开头先说到评论家有创造价值的能力或者资质 这个点提到之后就表明你没有忽略创造价值这个审题的核心
然后第一个body下面再说他们如何如何有能力了

第二第三个body开头要提到跟第一个body的ts
提到他们拥有的这些能力是如何发挥作用来创造永恒价值的

个人观念
可能也有偏颇
只是给你参考呵呵

我要出去了
回来再看吧:)

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-3-26 19:32 编辑 ]

candylanUID：2288485

你这么说也可以……貌似比我的切题一点，我总是写写就偏掉了
我可以再改改……
大谢，大谢……
我作文最近有瓶颈了，总是怕一篇文章里，用语重复，然后就是不想改限时写的文章，但是又必须强迫自己改……
强迫症，
估计考完我就精神分裂