argument231 汗！！！

PrudenceUID: 2286952

TOPIC: ARGUMENT231 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.

"The members of the town school board should not be reelected because they are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in the arts in our local schools. For example, student participation in the high school drama club has been declining steadily, and this year the school board refused to renew the contract of the drama director, even though he had received many awards for his original plays. Meanwhile, over $300,000 of the high school budget goes to athletic programs, and the head football coach is now the highest-paid member of the teaching staff."
WORDS: 393          TIME: 0:24:18          DATE: 2007-3-31

According to a series of evidence, the speaker asserts that the members of the town school board should not be reelected. However, scrutiny reveals this assertion is problematic in several respects and unconvincing.

To begin with, the mere fact of declining number of students participating in the high school drams club cannot convince me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. It is entirely possible that there are several kinds of arts clubs in our local school, and choosing which one or ones to take part in is determined by the students themselves. In that case, perhaps drama club is not popular among students, however, other clubs such as sing club and dance club are fraught with students. Accordingly, without ruling out this possibility, the author fails to persuade me not to elect the board.

Second, in the similar way, the mere fact that the school board refused to renew the contract of the drama director cannot persuade me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. Even though this director had received many awards for his original plays, perhaps he is not good at to be a director. In this respect, the board would have good reason not to renew him, which has nothing to do with the assumption that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school.

Third, the mere fact that over $300,000 of the high school budget goes to athletic programs, and the head football coach is now the highest-paid member of the teaching staff, again, fails to persuade me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. It is completely possible that budget going to arts is much more than $300,000. And maybe the head football coach is also this school's president, so it is out of question that he deserves the highest-paid. Without excluding these possibilities the author still cannot persuade me to not elect the board.

To sum up, from what have been discussed above, we can conclude that the author fails to make the assertion convincing. In order to persuade me not to elect board, the author should provide more details.

PrudenceUID: 2286952

攻击提纲：
1） 戏剧俱乐部的学生数下降  另有他因  并不是board 不关心艺术
2） board 拒绝与戏剧知道续约  另有他因  虽然他很有才华在。。。上   但还是不能用他
3） 30万用于体育《----》多于30万用于艺术，   总教练是校长啊

缺点：句式！！！

[ 本帖最后由 Prudence 于 2007-4-1 11:55 编辑 ]

PrudenceUID: 2286952

According to a series of evidence, the speaker asserts that the members of the town school board should not be reelected. However, scrutiny examination of this assertion reveals it is problematic in several respects and unconvincing.(这样写行不行？？？)

To begin with, the mere fact of declining number of students participating in the high school drama club cannot convince me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. It is entirely possible that there are several kinds of arts clubs, such assinging club, dance club and the like, in our local school, and choosing which one or ones to take part in is determined by the students themselves. In that case, perhaps now drama club is not popular among students.However, other clubs such as singing club and dance club are fraught with students. Accordingly, without ruling out this possibility, the author fails to persuade me not to elect the board.

Second, in the similar way, the mere fact that the school board refused to renew the contract of the drama director cannot persuade me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. Even though this director had received many awards for his original plays, perhaps he is not good at to be a director, and during his tenure lots of problems happen. In this respect, the board would have good reason not to renew him, which has nothing to do with the assumption that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school.

Third, the mere fact that over $300,000 of the high school budget goes to athletic programs, and the head football coach is now the highest-paid member of the teaching staff, again, fails to persuade me that the members of the board are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in arts in our local school. It is completely possible that budget going to arts is much more than $300,000. And maybe the head football coach is also this school's president, so it is out of question that he deserves the highest-paid. Without excluding these possibilities the author still cannot persuade me to not elect the board.

To sum up, from what have been discussed above, we can conclude that the author fails to make the assertion convincing. In order to persuade me not to elect board, the author should provide more details.


[ 本帖最后由 Prudence 于 2007-4-1 12:08 编辑 ]