issue177 希望得到大棒伺候

pishengUID: 2169170

题目：ISSUE177 - "The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."
字数：618          用时：超时……         日期：2007-4-13

During the long history of human beings, the study of academic discipline always plays a crucial role ever since. And it is generally believed that only by the studying of discipline do people get to know the world with a new vision and make all progress.

  To begin with, with the study of an academic discipline ,our view on the world may  be changed. More knowledge’s grasping would surely broaden our vision and make us understand the world around us better. For example, we used to consider that it is the god’s rage that results in   fulmination and thunder. It is later discovered, however, that they are only nature phenomenon just like wind and cloud. Also not until people get further study of medicine do we not fear the disease that we suffered from, and we begin to believe modern medicine rather than witchery. At the same time , the study of biology tells us how one life begins and in which way the life evolves, through which we find chromosome and build up gene project. All subjects may bring us knowledge about the environment we live in, and our vision of the world is broaden increasingly when studying each academic discipline.

  In addition, after study the academic discipline the way we consider and dispose event is changed. Take computer science, a subject which is almost of the widest use, for example. At the beginning of the computer times, people simply use it for calculating and store information, especially for military use. Soon later, the computer, with a much smaller shape and reasonable price, goes into common people's life and people no longer consider computer as a luxurious object that served only for government. After the revolution in multimedia in computer science, more and more people choose it as their most favorable entertainment tools whose status is even higher than TV. While nowadays with the connection of Internet, computer science is nearly in every field--as long as we can imagine--and become a indispensable assistant in our daily lives. We would like to read the news from Internet rather than newspaper and we buy what we need online instead of traditional purchasing way. Clearly we may see one simple academic discipline's study has changed our way of thinking so much and all the change are contributed to the development of the individual subject.

Furthermore, with the study of academic discipline , our perspective on our action, especially to the nature has changed. With the developing of human beings, the environmental problems increase year by year. So many lessons have been left during people's stepping forward. One example, which is about Huang River, the second longest one in china, shows people’s realization about nature protecting. There regularly occur flood, drought and locust invasion along the area of Huang River. At the beginning seldom do people new the reasons. After years of studying on ecology, it is indicated that the reason why those affairs happen is the serious soil erosion along the bank, which is caused by the large amount of forest hewing for the construction use. After finding where the problem is the Chinese government makes all its effort to recover the forest. And now everyone has understand the truth that it is more important protecting before destruction than recovering after demolishment. From the case above, we may see that people's view on their action to nature would get improved after studying academic discipline which may direct our way in later days.

To sum up, our study of academic discipline helps us to consider the world in a different eye and get further knowledge, with which we could make less mistakes and choose the best way to follow.

iq28UID: 2152875

During the long history of human beings, the study of academic discipline always plays a crucial role ever since. And it is generally believed that only by the studying of discipline do people get to know the world with a new vision and make all progress. (完全赞同)

  To begin with, with the study of an academic discipline, our view on the world may be changed. (干嘛要被动?) More knowledge’s grasping would surely broaden our vision and make us understand the world around us better. (下面就应该围绕红字来说) For example, we used to consider that it is the god’s rage that results in fulmination and thunder. It is later discovered, however, that they are only nature phenomenon just like wind and cloud. Also not until people get further study of medicine do we not fear the disease that we suffered from, and we begin to believe modern medicine rather than witchery. (第一个例子虽然看上去有点土但事实上很贴切,第二个稍微有点偏,主要还是得讲对待疾病的看法吧~)(on my second thought,觉得第二个例子不偏...:L ) At the same time , the study of biology tells us how one life begins and in which way the life evolves, through which we find chromosome and build up gene project. (例子太多了,说理基本没有看见) All subjects may bring us knowledge about the environment we live in, and our vision of the world is broaden increasingly when studying each academic discipline.

  In addition, after study the academic discipline the way we consider and dispose event (前面一个段落是view的变化,这里是consider和dispose的变化,明显ts的层次没有拉开,虽然下面的论证可能还是可以拉开的) is changed. Take computer science, a subject which is almost of the widest use, for example. At the beginning of the computer times, people simply use it for calculating and store information, especially for military use. Soon later, the computer, with a much smaller shape and reasonable price, goes into common people's life and people no longer consider computer as a luxurious object that served only for government. After the revolution in multimedia in computer science, more and more people choose it as their most favorable entertainment tools whose status is even higher than TV. While nowadays with the connection of Internet, computer science is nearly in every field--as long as we can imagine--and become a indispensable assistant in our daily lives. We would like to read the news from Internet rather than newspaper and we buy what we need online instead of traditional purchasing way. (严重的问题,前面只是说到了cs这个学科,没有提到academic learning的问题.就算提到了learning,这个关于cs学习的实例也太冗长了.不过change的这个过程阐释的是很清楚,如果能够把观念change的对象从电脑本身上面再升华放大会更好.有点可惜) Clearly we may see one simple academic discipline's study has changed our way of thinking so much and all the change are contributed to the development of the individual subject.

Furthermore, with the study of academic discipline, our perspective on our action, especially to the nature has changed. (学术学习对于环保的帮助,有点牵强,不是很好说的让人信服) With the developing of human beings, the environmental problems increase year by year. So many lessons have been left during people's stepping forward. (这句话前不着村后不着店....当人类的步伐前进的时候很多课程都被抛弃了?) One example, which is about Huang River, the second longest one in china, shows people’s realization about nature protecting. There regularly occur flood, drought and locust invasion along the area of Huang River. At the beginning seldom do people knew the reasons. After years of studying on ecology, it is indicated that the reason why those affairs happen is the serious soil erosion along the bank, which is caused by the large amount of forest hewing for the construction use. After finding where the problem is the Chinese government makes all its effort to recover the forest. And now everyone has understand the truth that it is more important protecting before destruction than recovering after demolishment. From the case above, we may see that people's view on their action to nature would get improved after studying academic discipline which may direct our way in later days. (问题和前面一样,例子太长论证太少.还有这个例子更像只是改造环境,不是很切题.题目中的view应该更加倾向于抽象化的感知,这里的环保已经是实际解决问题的世俗层次了.个人看法)

To sum up, our study of academic discipline helps us to consider the world in a different eye and get further knowledge, with which we could make less mistakes and choose the best way to follow.

有样子的文章
虽然细节做得并不是很好
4分应该有了
加油

pishengUID: 2169170

感谢斑斑的狠拍~
相当有收获了！:)
我也发现自己的问题的确是只会堆砌例子~
不知道如何论证~
有时例子恰当还好~
如果不恰当就彻底死了~
关于body第三段那句莫名其妙的话~
事实上我是想说“在人类前进中，太多的教训被留下来了。”
唉~是我表达的有问题才造成歧义的~
总之论证得的确很烂的说~
嘿嘿~anyway
再次感谢斑斑的批改~
ps.
呵呵~
斑斑居然说有4分了~
相当happy了~
只要过三我就满足了呢~
恩~听斑斑的话~继续进取中！
也祝斑斑天天开心~