Issue38 大家给看看，给个评语也好

solartorchUID: 2244205

38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
在电视机时代，阅读书籍已经没有原来那样重要了。人们从电视上学到的东西丝毫不比从书本中学来的少。

The speaker contends that in today’s era of limitless information, in which television plays a crucial role, reading books is gradually losing its gravity and as a result we can learn anything formerly attained in reading books from watching television. In my opinion, although the popularization of television has changed and advanced our lives in manifold aspects, reading books is still a vigorous and indispensable way which brings us unique outlook and inimitable apprehension. The speaker overstates the importance of watching television

We are provided more extensive approaches to apply as well as enhance the abilities of imagination and creation through reading books. The reading and appreciation of novels is able to aptly illustrate this point. Despite how elaborately a writer describes the garments that the character under his or her delineation is dressing, or how detailed he or she portrays the beautiful or evil thoughts being gestated in the character’s mind, room is always left there for the readers to imagine. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people’s eyes. Though the acting on television may give us a more direct sense, the words on paper let us have a matchless environment to recreate the character based on our own interpretation. Likewise, a melancholic poem, an agreeable prose or a logical issue can offer us a wide expanse of the sky to fly our mind. Reading a book---rather than receiving information passively---is a positive way to effectively analyze the information you’ve seen using your imagination and creation.

Rather than many art works like novels that can also be shot and shown on television, general mathematical and scientific theories are way much better to be demonstrated on paper. We don’t need the chromatic vision impact to deduce the Poisson distribution---a discrete probability distribution in statistics. We don’t need professional sound system to comprehend Newton’s Three Law of Motion. In fact, whenever the learning desires thorough concentration and repeated apprehension, a concise and portable book’s advantage becomes notable. While the excessive television program may bewilder your apperception, the print on paper doesn’t distract your thoughts and caters for your needs of referring to at any time.

Having recognized that reading books still plays an essential role in learning, television nevertheless serves as an important way to access and assimilate knowledge. Albeit some problems like TV addiction and couch potato phenomenon remind us the negative influence this electrical box has brought to our live in late several decades, television, if used appropriately, does afford an appreciable source in cognizing the world. Taking discovery channel for example, launched in 1985, this successful channel which provides variety programming focused primarily on the themes of popular science, history, and knowledge about the world has now been the most widely distributed cable network in the United States, reaching 170 countries and territories. By virtue of television, it brings us the vivid image and inspires our interests on diverse areas.

In sum, television, as a newly born baby compared to the long history of books, furnishes us fresh perspectives in learning. However, in the age of television, reading books as a traditional way will never fade its color in terms of gathering knowledge. The enduring best sellers in bookstore or the academic periodicals being frequently checking out in library have proven themselves’ sustaining capacity in today’s world.     

[ 本帖最后由 solartorch 于 2007-5-6 20:03 编辑 ]

blackwoofUID: 2270066

发帖格式不对啊,看看置顶

tongwawawUID: 2176887

不想学了，来作文版溜达溜达，好久没给别人改作文了，改得可能不好，请别见笑～^_^ 支持我喜欢的斑竹～
The speaker contends that in today’s era of limitless information, in which television plays a crucial role, reading books is gradually losing its gravity and as a result we can learn anything formerly attained in reading books from watching television. In my opinion, although the popularization of television has changed and advanced our lives in manifold aspects, reading books is still a vigorous and indispensable way which brings us unique outlook and inimitable apprehension. The speaker overstates the importance of watching television

We are provided more extensive approaches to apply as well as enhance the abilities of imagination and creation through reading books. The reading and appreciation of novels is able to aptly illustrate this point. Despite how（这感觉语法不对，个人觉得用一个however就行了） elaborately a writer describes the garments that the character under his or her delineation is dressing, or how detailed he or she portrays the beautiful or evil thoughts being gestated in the character’s mind, room is always left there for the readers to imagine. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people’s eyes. Though the acting on television may give us a more direct sense, the words on paper let us have a matchless environment to recreate the character based on our own interpretation. Likewise, a melancholic poem, an agreeable prose or a logical issue can offer us a wide expanse of the sky to fly our mind. Reading a book---rather than receiving information passively---is a positive way to effectively analyze the information you’ve seen using your imagination and creation.
这段的观点不错
Rather than many art works like novels that can also be shot and shown on television, general mathematical and scientific theories are way much better to be demonstrated on paper. We don’t need the chromatic vision impact to deduce the Poisson distribution---a discrete probability distribution in statistics. We don’t need professional sound system to comprehend Newton’s Three Law of Motion.（为什么不需要啊，感觉没说出来理由） In fact, whenever the learning desires thorough concentration and repeated apprehension, a concise and portable book’s advantage becomes notable. While the excessive television program may bewilder your apperception, the print on paper doesn’t distract your thoughts and caters for your needs of referring to at any time.

Having recognized that reading books still plays an essential role in learning, television nevertheless serves as an important way to access and assimilate knowledge. Albeit some problems like TV addiction and couch potato phenomenon remind us the negative influence this electrical box has brought to our live in late several decades, television, if used appropriately, does afford an appreciable source in cognizing the world. Taking discovery channel for example, launched in 1985, this successful channel which provides variety programming focused primarily on the themes of popular science, history, and knowledge about the world has now been the most widely distributed cable network in the United States, reaching 170 countries and territories. By virtue of television, it brings us the vivid image and inspires our interests on diverse areas.

In sum, television, as a newly born baby compared to the long history of books, furnishes us fresh perspectives in learning. However, in the age of television, reading books as a traditional way will never fade its color in terms of gathering knowledge. The enduring best sellers in bookstore or the academic periodicals being frequently checking out in library have proven themselves’ sustaining capacity in today’s world.   

总结一下：
首段：尽管电视好，但是不能取代书本
B1 读书时会有丰富的想象力
B2 有些知识还是要从书本中获得
B3 让步，电视的好处
末段总结
我觉得应当把B3提到B1，先让步，这样你的文章结构才能和首段对应
感觉楼主语法不错，看得出来写得非常用心，但是有些表达还是很中文化的～继续磨练～加油～^_^

solartorchUID: 2244205

谢谢ls指点，对，我觉得是有点中文化，好多都是先想好中文，再翻成英文，看来翻的过程需要注意。用英文想我暂时还做不到，好多论述用中文想都觉得费劲～～
另外，其实我语法不好啦。。。嘿嘿
anyway, many thanks