跪求大家帮忙改改作文

sanmuyi3868111UID: 2332555

:loveliness: 题目：What do you want most in a friend-someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor,or someone who is reliable?which one these charateristics is most important to you?
Friends like a broad sea while I am a boat in it; friends like a tall mountain while I am a tree in it. Consequently, friends play an important role in my life so that I must choose my friends cautiously based on their characteristics. From my view, of the hundreds characteristics which people have, reliability is the most important to me when I am select a friend from many people. Among countless factors which influence the choice, these are three conspicuous aspects as follows:
  The main reason for my propensity for this choice is that a reliable friend offers a sense of security. There is no doubt that a reliable friend will stand by me when I am in trouble and provide mental assist as well as material assist. For instance, when I was slandered by classmates for they insisted that I have stolen their books, by contrast, not only give me a trust, but also she help me eliminate the misunderstanding between classmates and me.
Another reason why I choose the reliance as a friend’s the most important characteristic is that I believe that a reliable friend could not deceive and betray me. A reliable friend could tell me my fault once she found it instead of deceiving me in order to please me. Even though discover my primacy involuntarily, they would keep the secret for me rather than amuse people with telling it everybody surrounding me. In particular, it is not likely to betray me when the friend face the lure of interest whereas other friends who don’t have the characteristic may fail.
  Furthermore, a reliable friend are able to teach me how to treat friends faithfully, frankly, and honestly. Due to her/his personality influent me while we communicate with each other in our daily life. That is, she/he treat me in a faithful, frankly and honest way in which I follow, so that I treat other friends in the same way, as a result, I could get more friends.
  In a nutshell, though a friend may have many characters such as intelligent, sense of humor, the important quality to me is reliance. As I mentioned above, he/she could provide sense of security, teach me some virtues as well as not deceive and betray me.

真生UID: 161074

我这台机子上没有改作文的软件，所以凑合看吧。

第一句句子不平衡，前后都用be动词，而且like会引起歧义。第一二句没有因果联系, consequently不要。From my point of view，固定搭配。 When I am 后面时态不对，selecting.

第二段，mental assist改成psychological assist, mental一般跟精神疾病有关。…. I had stolen时态啊！你这句For instance连个主语都没有，谁not only give me a trust . she helped! 消除误会用clarify.

第三段 reliance前the去掉，reliance改reliability，两者意思不同。Most前面the去掉。把could改would，他们并不是没有能力欺骗你，and改or, 因为否定句。我不懂你第二句为什么要过去时。把even though那前半句去掉，你这里的私事跟真正的privacy不同。Telling 后的it去掉。In particular, reliable friends are less likely to betray me when they are faced with the lure of interest whereas others may fall for the lure.

第四段，第一句a friend对应的怎么是are。第二句完全不知所云。She/he 后面怎么又是treat。不是get more friends,是make more friends.

最后一段，intelligence. Reliability. Provide后加me

sanmuyi3868111UID: 2332555

:) 感谢感谢……亿份感谢