寄托天下
查看: 2647|回复: 21
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[求助] 六月花开小组第一次作业 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
1719
注册时间
2007-5-12
精华
0
帖子
6
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2007-5-18 19:11:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目:It is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.


The most people have many kinds of friends. Some are intelligent, while some have a good sense of humor. A lot of people may make friends with people who have a good sense of humor, because they can bring humor for them and make them to enjoy the life better. However, I think I will make friends with people who are intelligent better than those who have a better sense of humor.

The important thing people should know is that we survive successful in the world is only because of we have intelligence. Intelligence always plays a vital role in our modern society, because every people must rely on it to gain money, and then exchange to get food, clothing and everything that they need or want. And if you live with a lame person you will learn to limp. In the same way, if you have many friends with intelligent, you also could be more intelligent. The example is that one of my best friends who initially is not good at English has successfully got the pass to study at Beijing University. At the first semester of high school, his English is not well. However, the situation is changed at next semester, because he has made friends with his classmate who is clever at English, and they usually talked with each other in English. Ultimately he achieved a very good mark of English at the end of his high school.

We make friends with people who are intelligent does not represent that we should give up the friends who have a good sense of humor. Because many intelligent people are also humor such as Mark Twain, and we also need the humorous friends. They usually make you laugh and happy. When you faced with a difficulty problem or unsatisfactory things, they often could encourage you by the humor language. Then you could have more confidence to deal with the problems.

All in all, friends are important to everyone. It is better to make friends with intelligent people than humorous people. But it does not mean that we do not need the friends who are humor. They all could help us to treat with the problems and enjoy our life better.

第一篇托福作文啊
希望牛人也来拍啊,谢谢
10、terrykid作业

0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
75
注册时间
2006-10-11
精华
0
帖子
0
沙发
发表于 2007-5-18 20:10:04 |只看该作者

我的第一篇作文,请大家狠拍^_^

六月花开小组第一次作业
题目:It is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.


When it comes to the personal view about making friends, many people think it is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor. However, as far as I concerned, I prefer the humorous ones to be my friends for the following reasons.

In the first place, there is no denying the fact that humor sense bring about good mood, which can make people relax and glad. With the pleasant atmosphere, your work efficiency may be promoted a lot and many problems seem not to be too boring any more. Suppose what kind of people you prefer to work or study with, humorous ones or not, I think the former choice is better.

In the second place, no people are more popular than those with humor sense. With the great development of economy and society, people’s living pace becomes much faster. We do not have much time to know others little by little. Therefore, interpersonal skills are more important than any time before. Indisputably, a good sense of humor can promote the relationship between speakers. For instance, if you can often make somebody laugh and happy with humor sense, you will win her favor easily.

Moreover, it is commonly accepted that intelligent people usually are bossy and pigheaded. They always think they are correct, and it is hard for them to be persuaded to accept other’s thoughts. As an old saying goes:“Even homer sometimes nods”. How terrible it will be if the intelligent people refuse to acknowledge their fault when mistake happens!

Admittedly, intelligent people contribute greatly to make some complicate problem easy to be solved, and you may be surprised with the innovative ideas they conceive. But it is just one aspect of this era.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is not always better to make friends with intelligent people than those with humor sense. Since humor is worldwide held, it will play more important roles in modern society.
第一篇toefl作文,请大家狠拍,越狠越感激^_^



[ 本帖最后由 hustgk 于 2007-5-18 20:34 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1537
注册时间
2007-3-18
精华
0
帖子
22
板凳
发表于 2007-5-18 20:38:41 |只看该作者

good job!

When it comes to the personal view about making friends, many people think it is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor. However, as far as I concerned, I prefer the humorous ones to be my friends for the following reasons.

In the first place, there is no denying(少了in)我认为 the fact that humor sense bring about good mood, which can make people relax and glad. With the pleasant atmosphere, your work efficiency may be promoted a lot and many problems seem not to be too boring any more. Suppose what kind of people you prefer to work or study with, humorous ones or not, I think the former choice is better.

In the second place, no people are more popular than those with humor sense. With the great development of economy and society, people’s living pace becomes much faster. We do not have much time to know others(each other 更好点) little by little. Therefore, interpersonal skills are more important than any time before. Indisputably, a good sense of humor can promote the relationship between speakers. For instance, if you can often make somebody laugh and happy with humor sense, you will win her favor easily.

Moreover, it is commonly accepted that intelligent people usually are bossy and pigheaded. They always think they are correct, and it is hard for them to be persuaded to accept other’s thoughts. As an old saying goes:“Even homer sometimes nods”. How terrible it will be if the intelligent people refuse to acknowledge their fault when mistake happens!

Admittedly, intelligent people contribute greatly to make some complicate problem easy to be solved, and you may be surprised with the innovative ideas they conceive. But it is just one aspect of this era.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is not always better to make friends with intelligent people than those with humor sense. Since humor is worldwide held, it will play more important roles in modern society.

总体思路还是比较清晰。1 表达你的观点。
                      2 ,3 说reason why u would  prefer sense of humor .
                                 4 ,5 说why u didnot like the person who is intelligent.
                                 6 summarize ur piont .
shortcoming :              1 基本没有具有说服力的例子。
                      2 哲理性的句子缺乏。
keep on going . the road may be long but the journey can be fun

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
178
注册时间
2007-4-24
精华
0
帖子
0
地板
发表于 2007-5-18 20:45:34 |只看该作者
10.terrykid 的一些建议,可作参考,也请多多指教~

"A lot of people may make friends with people who have a good sense of humor, because they can bring humor for them and make them to enjoy the life better."
----->some people like to make humorous friends , because they may transfer humor to them and make their lives become more enjoyable.

" I think I will make friends with people who are intelligent better than those who have a better sense of humor."
中的better than改为rather than

第二段第二行“is only because of ”改为“mainly because”

"got the pass to study at Beijing University"
------>"been enrolled as a student to PeKing University"

" At the first semester of high school, his English is not well."
----->"At the first semester in college, he made little progess in English."

"he has made friends with his classmate who is clever at English, and they usually talked with each other in English."
---->"he has made friends with his classmates who were excellent in English, and they always had conversations in English."

ps:作文模式和DELTA里面的作文好相同,你是不是以练习DELTA里的作文为主呢?

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
178
注册时间
2007-4-24
精华
0
帖子
0
5
发表于 2007-5-18 20:59:20 |只看该作者
Friends are important for us because we share experiences and learn lessons from each other. It's true that we will benefit more if we make friends with high qualities likes intelligence and wisdom. However, it's unfair to assume that making friends with intellect people is better than with humorous ones. Because we can learn different experience from people with different features. Sense of humor is rare and precious, having humorous friends, you may have more fun and find your life more colorful and adventurous.

Sense of humor can not be learnt. humor is a inherent ability that make people surrounded you have fun and laugh. No course can teach you how to be humor, and you can hardly learn it from other people for humor is different from one and other. Take my personal experience for example, I make a humorous friend in college, she does not doing very well in her study though, she always comes up with fancy ideas that make you amuse and laugh. With her in my life, I always survive from gloomy and despair. Therefore, I believe it's more enjoyable of being with a humorous friend.

Humorous people is welcome everywhere and easier to make friends. As I remember, in a party held by my friend, he invited one of his humorous friends to give a speech. The guy told a improvisational joke which is very amusing. Consequently, the atmosphere in the room is immediately changed to be relaxing and enjoyable. Everybody admired him for his sense of humor and rewarded him with constant applause. After the party, I learnt a lesson that holding a sense of humor, you may find it easier to release stressful situations and be able to make more friends. Therefore, it's fair enough to say that humor is more than a sense of fun, it's kind of god-given ability to get attraction and adoration from others.

In summary, making friends with humorous people benefits you in more ways than one. they make your life more amusing and less stressful. Humorous people is always welcome, being one of their friends, you may even be able to enlarge you social circle.


[ 本帖最后由 terrykid 于 2007-5-18 21:02 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
178
注册时间
2007-4-24
精华
0
帖子
0
6
发表于 2007-5-18 21:07:28 |只看该作者
请问大家写作文时有限时吗?是不是5-outline 20-body 5-correct这样的时间按排?

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1537
注册时间
2007-3-18
精华
0
帖子
22
7
发表于 2007-5-18 21:11:49 |只看该作者
当然有啊
keep on going . the road may be long but the journey can be fun

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
18
注册时间
2007-3-31
精华
0
帖子
1
8
发表于 2007-5-18 21:29:26 |只看该作者
我不知道这里作文是不是流行提关于语法方面的建议?
l1 p2, humor sense bring(s)?
l3 p2, seems 应该可以直接跟boring吧?似乎是所谓主系表?
l3 p2, supposing....应为后面I think是个完整句子了。
l1 p5, make some coplicate problem(s) essy to (solve), 好像这里是主动表被动……这里语感居多,说错了先忏悔。

说个题外话,楼上有兄弟说的很专业,像我们这种不专业的,会不会让改错成为改错,结果又改错。

[ 本帖最后由 recheng 于 2007-5-18 21:46 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 6Rank: 6

声望
0
寄托币
1872
注册时间
2006-5-15
精华
0
帖子
56
9
发表于 2007-5-18 21:56:55 |只看该作者

六月花开小组作文1

It is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.

Friend, is indispensable for human being, plays an important part both for the development of individuals and the whole society. When it comes to which kind of friends is better to make, people with intelligence, or people who have a sense of humor, it is possible to identify that I tend to make friends with those people who are humorous.

No one could deny the fact that making friends with intelligent people usually contributes to extension of one’s knowledge and view scope. When people are in dilemma, they always give us wiser suggestion and the profound views about the difficulties, and help us shape the tenet of the critical thinking.

However, the problems come when we face the current rapidly developed society with considerable pressure and I think that it is better for me to make friends with those people have a sense of humor, and their jokes or amusing talks make me feel relax and escape from the heavy work, rather than those people with intelligence merely tell me the truths without practical sense everyday. Just like a friend of mine, Xinlin, she always responds the difficulties optimistically though her special sense of humor without the negative ideas, and she also helps me shape the positive view towards the world and its people, which helps me conquer the troubles whenever I trap.

Meanwhile, people with humor often add their groups more happiness. I am deeply impressed in a meeting that Dingding, one person with a good sense of humor, she was singing, dancing, and talking the jokes, make people there are pleased and we enjoyed the happy time then. She is popular and

In sum, choosing what kind of friends to make with depends on individuals, and I prefer making friends with those people who have a good sense of humor.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
989
注册时间
2006-8-19
精华
1
帖子
0
10
发表于 2007-5-18 22:03:05 |只看该作者
我的作文发在六月花开小组互助大贴的帖子里,发附件了可以吗?口语作业怎么提交啊

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
1719
注册时间
2007-5-12
精华
0
帖子
6
11
发表于 2007-5-18 22:17:50 |只看该作者

谢谢你帮我修改,应该我改你的,你改下一个人的,呵呵

Friends are important for us because we (could) share experiences and learn lessons fromwith each other. It's true that we will (be) benefit more if we make friends with high qualitieslikes intelligence and wisdom. However, it's(it is) unfair to assume(consider,觉得用ASSUME不恰当) that making friends with intellect(intelligent) people is better than with humorous ones. Because we can learn different experience from people with different features. Sense of humor is rare and precious, and having humorous friends, you may have more fun and find your life more colorful and adventurous(后面没有证明啊,建议去掉).

Sense of humor can not be learnt
easily.humor is a inherent ability that make people surrounded you have fun and laugh. No course can teach you how to be humorous, and you can hardly learn it from other people for humor is different from one and other. Take my personal experience for example, I make a humorous friend in college, and she does not doing very well in her study though, she always comes up with fancy ideas that make you to amuse and laugh. With her in my life, I always survive from gloomy and despair. Therefore, I believe it's more enjoyable of being with a humorous friend.举例不证明主题啊,该段落的主题不是幽默难学,而是能带来快乐


Humorous people is welcome
d everywhere and easier to make friends. As I remember, in a party held by my friend, he invited one of his humorous friends to give a speech. The guy told an improvisational joke which is very amusing. Consequently, the atmosphere in the room is immediately changed to be relaxing and enjoyable. Everybody admired him for his sense of humor and rewarded him with constant applause(a storm of applause). After the party, I learnt a lesson that holding a sense of humor, you may find it easier to release stressful situations and be able to make more friends. Therefore, it's fair enough to say that humor is more than a sense of fun. It's kind of god-given ability to get attraction and adoration from others.

In summary, making friends with humorous people benefits you in more ways than one. they make your life more amusing and less stressful. Humorous people is
are always welcome, and  being one of their friends, you may even be able to enlarge you social circle.

建议:
1.不要用缩写it's 应该全部改为it is
2.第二段的段落中心没有把握好
3.句子之间用句号,或加and
再接再厉,我们一起加油啊!:handshake

[ 本帖最后由 sick 于 2007-5-18 22:20 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
75
注册时间
2006-10-11
精华
0
帖子
0
12
发表于 2007-5-19 01:11:49 |只看该作者
第一次发自己的作文,真的被gter感动了,除了感谢我不知道还能说什么好了。对于大家提出的问题,我一定会很认真很认真的去琢磨,我会让大家对我提出的意见在下一篇作文中显示出立杆见影的效果。
对于举例子,真的觉得是自己最不擅长的了,脑子里空空的,就算硬编也只能编出一个suppose之类的,完全没有说服力,希望高人指点~~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1327
注册时间
2007-5-14
精华
0
帖子
192
13
发表于 2007-5-19 02:16:13 |只看该作者

Good job

Generally it is a very good practice.
Something you might miss without further consideration. Some intelligents also have a sense of humor. The intelligent person may help you more efficiently than a silly guy. The key is that the personality varies from person to person. You may add at the end that you hope your colleagues smart and of humor sense. These merits can be co-existent in one person.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 6Rank: 6

声望
0
寄托币
4999
注册时间
2006-7-19
精华
0
帖子
144
14
发表于 2007-5-19 02:43:56 |只看该作者
我的时间安排是 7分钟用来写提纲,2分钟写开头,15分钟写观点,3分钟写结尾,3分钟检查。:)

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1350
注册时间
2007-1-2
精华
0
帖子
4
15
发表于 2007-5-19 07:15:35 |只看该作者

nNTopic: It is better to makes friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.

                  

As the fundamental of social relationship and the resource to meet emotion needs, friendship plays a significant role in both human society and individuals' lives. However, with distinctive personalities, experiences and education backgrounds, people tend to make friends of different types. According to my own life philosophy and personal experience, I hold the opinion that making friends with people who have a sense of humor is a better choice.

                             

First, the amusing personality of humorous people can bring delight and relief to others. Living in such a highly industrialized modern society, people have to tolerate enormous work pressure and fast life pace. It seems that everyone has lost the time and opportunity to get relieved. Just imagine when you are engaged in annoying work plans, what will you feel if a friend tell a fascinating joke through cell phone or even offer you a funny performance simulating Michael Jackson? Of course you will laugh! Actually, laugh is such a precious gift that makes you relaxed and vigorous.

                 

Second, humorous people always maintain a healthy psychological state that can have positive impacts on his or her friends. Humor can always help shape a positive attitude toward life; it gives people bravery to face difficulties and challenges; it helps them recover from failed experiences and unpleasant memories. The friends of people who have a good sense of humor can also benefit from its effect by building a similar mental condition.

                 

Third, humor also brings many other merits that can strengthen the relationship. In most cases, humorous people are amiable, good-tempered, considerate and so on. They can be good listeners when you just underwent frustrated experiences and turn to brilliant entertainers when you are distressed. All of these valuable virtues can sustain the friendship, making it long-lasted.

               

Admittedly, intelligent person are charming with their ingenious ideas. They can come up with creative solutions to problems of their friends or help them make wise decisions. While given the amusement, positive attitude and reliable friendship, what a humorous friend can bring to the relationship, I hold the opinion that it is sensible to make friends with people having a good sense of humor.



[ 本帖最后由 anweivv 于 2007-5-21 15:03 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

RE: 六月花开小组第一次作业 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
六月花开小组第一次作业
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-669505-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部