求高手帮英语生锈的人改篇作文

mggUID: 2318522

我高手英语还可以，不过上大学来就开始学德语了，英语放了快3年了，写了很长时间，又花时间改了下，希望有高手给修改指点下，多谢。

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for better job, house, community, or even climate. which do you prefer:staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

When it comes to this issue,  some people will offer several disadvantages of moving a number of times,  such as instability of lives,  risks of unemployment and so on.  However,  as far as I concerned,  there are more advantages to one person.  Moving to a new place offers one new challenges and opportunities of professional development,  possibilities to get in touch with other cultures and even toughens one up.   

After working in the same city for a few years,  if someone has not obtain promotions jet,  it's time for him to make some changes.  Whether one can succeed or not is influenced by various factors,  not only his ability but also the situation around him.  Moving to another place offers him an opportunity to look for a more appropriate work condition.  For instance,  if one lived in a city crowded by people who are engaged in the same field as him, he had to face fierce competition.  When he moves to a city where there is a lack of worker in his field, certainly he will play a more important role in the company.  In addition, a new company that means an exciting challenge can inspire him greater efforts on work that do great benefits to his professional development   

While living in a place someone is familiar with can bring him much convenience,  it also limits him to try other different cultures and ways of live.  A new life in other cities will enrich one's experience and knowledge.  At the same time, the process to contact and know everything new there is fascinating and exciting .  For instance,  if you move from Beijing to Shanghai,  you will obtain the opportunity to taste different food,  speak different dialect and different viewpoint to the world.  Through comparisons of old and new places,  friends and ideas,  people become more knowledgeable about the world and about themselves

Moreover,  a new life in a strange city can toughen someone up.  Because a new life will be filled with difficulties and obstacles that a stranger has to deal with.  Besides challenges in work place,  a stranger must deal with custom conflict and bear the solitude at the beginning.  The experience to deal with these difficulties will teach one a lot and toughens him up quickly.   

As what I have mentioned above,  although there might be a little bit negative influence,  the advantages and profits it would bring us directly and indirectly are more attractive.  As a result, I prefer to move a number of times throughout my life.

[ 本帖最后由 mgg 于 2007-5-24 14:31 编辑 ]

moondy74178945UID: 2231844

楼主先改一下格式吧，每句首字母大写，标点后面空一格，用齐头式就可以了，每段之间要空一行。
哎，我也知道很麻烦，没办法啊~毕竟是人家的语言，老外说了算啊~:)

kevinliu6883UID: 2338522

English writing has its way.
you are making an argument, so you have to provide supportive evidence clearly. The examples added is tightly linked to the points. Try to convince yourself first.
Your reader will quickly know how you get to that conclusion.
You may begin to write outline first. then add your inference and deducing process and examples.

xieyanshuUID: 2296774

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others always move from one place to another throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Staying in one place or moving to another place, which one do you prefer?
         When it comes to this issue, some people who prefer the former will come up with several disadvantages, such as instability of lives, risks of unemployment and so on. However, as far as I concerned, I will prefer the latter. Moving to a new place can get some new challenges and opportunities of career, it also can learn some different cultures and gain experience.
        After working in the same city for a few years, if someone has not obtained promotions yet, it's time for him to make some changes, whether he will succeed or not. Of course, success depends on various factors, not only his ability but also his circumstance. Moving to another place offers him an opportunity to look for more appropriate work condition. For instance, if someone had lived in a big city, he would have confronted the fierce competition. Afterwards, when he moved to a small city where there is a lack of employees in his professional field, he would play an important role in the company. In addition, a new company could be an exciting challenge and can inspire him greater efforts on work bringing benefits to his professional development.
          While living in a place which someone is familiar with, it brings him much convenience. But it also limits him to try other different cultures and ways of live. A new life in other cities will enrich someone's experience and knowledge. In the mean time, learning everything new there is fascinating and exciting. For example, if you move from Beijing to Shanghai, you will obtain the opportunity to taste different food, speak different dialect and hear different viewpoint of the world. Through comparisons of old and new places, friends and ideas, people become more knowledgeable about the world and about themselves
          Moreover, a new life in a strange city can toughen someone up. Because a new life will be filled with difficulties and obstacles you would have to deal with. Besides challenges in the work place, you must deal with conflict of custom and bear the solitude at the beginning. The experience to deal with these difficulties will teach someone a lot and toughens him up quickly.   
          Although there might be a bit of negative influence as what I have mentioned above, the advantages and profits it would bring us more attractive. As a result, I prefer to move a number of times throughout my life.

mggUID: 2318522

多谢LS的两位了，我作文很差，还请大家多帮忙。