argument18 [METTLE小组]第一次作业

秋千UID: 2317735

Argument18:

The following appeared in an editorial in a Prunty County newspaper.
"In an attempt to improve highway safety,Prunty County recently lowered its speed limit from 55 miles per hour to 45 on all major county roads.But the 55mph limit should be restored, because this safety effort has failed.Most drivers are exceeding the new speed limit and the accident rate throughout Prunty County has decreased only slightly.If we want to improve the safety of our roads,we should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago:increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads.Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accident fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago.”

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   words:430   time: 2:30:00  date:  05/28/2007


In this argument, the arguer advocates that the 45 miles per hour speed limit, which has been adopted recently, has failed to improve highway safety in Prunty County. Instead, the arguer recommends that Prunty County should not only restore the 55 mph limit but also take the road improvement project of Butler County five years ago, which the arguer believes to be effective, due to the decrease of accidents rates there, with a 55 mph limit. However, a careful examination will reveal the groundless of the conclusion.

First of all, the conclusion that the 45 mph speed limit has failed to improve highway safety in Prunty County is unwarranted. The fact that most drivers are exceeding the new speed limit can only prove that the new speed limit is irrational, but it has nothing to do with the highway safety. Moreover, the accident rate has slightly decreased in Prunty County, not increased or stayed still, which reveals that the new speed limit may have some effect on the highway safety, but rather fail. Consequently, the arguer does not have sufficient evidence proves that the new speed limit has failed to improve the highway safety.

Second, the arguer's suggestion that undertaking the road improvement project of Butler County will improve highway safety is based on a false analogy. The arguer simply assumes that  Prunty County and Butler County have similar highway condition. However, the roads in Prunty County may be wide and smooth, where a traffic accident may occur as well. With the absence of the highway information in Prunty County, the assumption that increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads in Prunty County can certainly improve the safety is unconvinced.

Even though the roads conditions are similar, the arguer fails to convince us that the road improvement project made effect on the road safety in Butler County. The comparison of reported accident between the past year and five years ago may result from many reasons, such as other effective traffic laws or or other secure policies set up by Butler County at the same time. In addition, there may have been many accidents that have not been reported by then.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to convince us that it is necessary to abandon the new  speed limit, as well as that undertaking the project of Butler County will improve the highway safety in Prunty County. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more evidence that it is necessary to restore the 55mph speed limit  and that Prunty County can adopt Butler County's project under the similar condition.

amyzhaoUID: 2250810

In this argument, the arguer advocates that the 45 miles per hour speed limit, which has been adopted recently, has failed to improve highway safety in Prunty County. Instead, the arguer recommends that Prunty County should not only restore the 55 mph limit but also take the road improvement project of Butler County five years ago(这个时间插的感觉怪怪的,好象容易引起歧义,不如换个定语丛句吧), which the arguer believes to be effective, due to the decrease of accidents rates there, with a 55 mph limit.However, a careful examination will reveal the groundless of the conclusion.

First of all, the conclusion that the 45 mph speed limit has failed to improve highway safety in Prunty County is unwarranted. The fact that most drivers are exceeding the new speed limit can only prove that the new speed limit is irrational(这个词太贬义了吧，感觉这段应该是替新限速平反的呀，整体应该对它持正评价吧), but it has nothing to do with the highway safety. Moreover, the accident rate has slightly decreased in Prunty County, not increased or stayed still, which reveals that the new speed limit may have some effect on the highway safety, but rather fail（前面这段反驳可以在加些内容，比如说缺乏以前的数据，也许以前的事故率一直持续上涨之类的，可以使之再丰满些，）. Consequently, the arguer does not have sufficient evidence proves that the new speed limit has failed to improve the highway safety.

Second, the arguer's suggestion that undertaking the road improvement project of Butler County will improve highway safety is based on a false analogy. The arguer simply assumes that  Prunty County and Butler County have similar highway condition. However, the roads in Prunty County may be wide and smooth, where a traffic accident may occur as well.(还是和上面一个感觉，似乎转得太快了，可以在列些差异，强调一下两者的不同。当然个人意见) With the absence of the highway information in（of） Prunty County, the assumption that increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads in Prunty County can certainly improve the safety is unconvinced.

Even though the roads conditions are similar, the arguer fails to convince us that the road improvement project made effect on the road safety in Butler County. The comparison（difference） of reported accident between the past year and five years ago may result from many reasons, such as other effective traffic laws or other secure policies set up by Butler County at the same time(感觉怪怪的，是不是应该改为during past five years啊). In addition, there may have been many accidents that have not been reported by then.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to convince us that it is necessary to abandon the new  speed limit, as well as that undertaking the project of Butler County will improve the highway safety in Prunty County. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more evidence that it is necessary to restore the 55mph speed limit  and that Prunty County can adopt Butler County's project under the similar condition.

整体看文章的结构还是挺清晰的，几个基本的逻辑错误都找到了，要是在论证的时候能再加深些力度就会更好了。不错了，第一篇，就能两个多小时写完。我可折腾了半天，还翻了一些资料才拼出来的。我基本功不行，可能有的语言点改的不对，你可以参考一下，如果感觉有问题可以问一下别人。

抱歉等这么久,我昨晚改完,结果保存出了问题,今天又重写的.呵呵,第一次改,也不知道提的建议对不对,权当参考吧,可能以后改改就会知道重点在哪了.

[ 本帖最后由 amyzhao 于 2007-5-31 12:12 编辑 ]

秋千UID: 2317735

嗯，多谢修改
有些地方不是我不想加深是根本就没想到什么反驳的理由……汗……就是想不到唉……可能以后会好些吧
irrational那里你说的很对说实话我不太懂这个词但是还是用了呵呵，以后不会这样了
感觉怪的地方，可能确实有些不妥吧，毕竟写的英文还是不地道啊