Issue51 【METTLE小组】第一次作业 by happyhappypig

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

Issue51
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Time: More than 3hr Words 693

As an old Eastern saying goes, the most efficient time to arrange a year plan is in spring and the most appropriate time to settle a day plan is early in the morning. Similarly, the best time to design the growth of an individual is in his or her youth. Thus, the effectiveness of education, a process providing basic knowledge, social communication skills and technical trainings to the future builders of the country gains more concerned. The most effective education would be of the form make full use of the resources from the instructor and school and at the same time give the greatest output, with students fully understand and apply what they learned, supporting the graduates for future service. Therefore, effective education should meet the needs and interests of the majority of the students.

Firstly, the purpose of education requires it satisfy the request of most of the class. Education gave the foundation of a person, just like the plinth of a statue. No matter how delicate and elaborate the above status is, what unique feature it contains, how significant it is in historical role or its relevance to the everyday life, without a solid base, all are just like flower blossom, transient and turn flag overtime. Education is to give solid support to students, nourish them with general knowledge and common sense for future works. In the society, we don’t urge a technician in a manufactory company to know the aesthetic value of a literature, nor did we require an artiest to know the mechanism of the machine. Whereas both the artists and the technicians get education in mathematics and linguistic in their early education, gave them communication skills and mathematics skills no matter what career they would choose in the future. These specific needs will emerge only during the work, after certain degree of education.

Secondly, given large number of students and limited resources, it is realistic to provide more general courses to the students. In one hand, the resources of the school are limited and various according to the schools. The schools should manage their money and resources in a way that both fulfill the students’ interests and overcome the financial limit. Under these circumstances, education should put the requirement of the majority into the first priority. Providing the basic knowledge to build up knowledge framework for the students would be the most emerging goal. On the other hand, due to various family backgrounds, living condition and plenty of other unexpected factors, the interests of an individual cannot be determined easily. Some students may have a broad interest in many aspects whereas the interests some other students may change overtime as they get more information related to the subject. General education could give students more space to choose their career path for further development. In addition, the mobility of many students makes it even harder to determine their interests or fit their interests with proper education design. In the Unites States, researchers find there are 5% of the students change their elementary school 2-3 times even within one year, which makes it impossible to orient the students’ interests, whereas the general education aimed to the multitude will reduce this problem to the least point. After all, education is a supplementary tool, the actual technique and real operation students will encounter during work needs familiarity with the tools and experience on a situation dependent manner.

Admittedly, a thorough education should give each students room to extend their interests and passion. Everyone is born different, which make our society diverse and attractive and it is exact this diversity contribute to our lustrous universe. Education should design to let them dig out their intelligence according to their interests. “Interest is the best instructor.” It is the interest that impulse the enlightening outcome which would in turn deeper the interests and promote another circle which ultimately lead one to his culmination.

In summary, general purpose of the education requires it provide basic and general knowledge to the majority to be effective. Whereas individuals’ interests should also be concerned to make use of his talent and let the students grow into a full-fledged adult.

感觉不知不觉间说了好多废话，大家使劲拍吧

[ 本帖最后由 happyhappypig 于 2007-6-8 19:06 编辑 ]

icestarUID: 2209935

我会尽快开始改的,不过我刚加入,等我先把自己的写完,抱歉~~
I51

As an old Eastern saying goes, the most efficient time to arrange a year plan is in spring and the most appropriate time to settle a day plan is early in the morning. Similarly, the best time to design the growth of an individual is in his or her youth. Thus, the effectiveness of education, a process providing basic knowledge, social communication skills and technical trainings to the future builders of the country gains more concerned. The most effective education would be of the form make full use of the resources from the instructor and school and at the same time give the greatest output, with students fully understand and apply what they learned, supporting the graduates for future service. Therefore, effective education should meet the needs and interests of the majority of the students.
VIEW1：基础教育的重要性
Firstly, the purpose of education requires it satisfy the request of most of the class. Education gave the foundation of a person, just like the plinth of a statue. No matter how delicate and elaborate the above status is, what unique feature it contains, how significant it is in historical role or its relevance to the everyday life, without a solid base, all are just like flower blossom, transient and turn flag overtime. Education is to(The aim of education is giving…., nourishing…) give solid support to students, nourish them with general knowledge and common sense for future works. In the society, we don’t urge a technician in a manufactory company to know the aesthetic value of a literature, nor did we require an artiest to know the mechanism of the machine. （我觉得这段可以不写，它反倒削弱了你的论证力度，直接写for example然后用下面的例子论证）Whereas both the artists and the technicians get education in mathematics and linguistic in their early education, gave them communication skills and mathematics skills no matter what career they would choose in the future. These specific needs will emerge only during the work, after certain degree of education.
VIEW2：基础教育的经济因素和个人因素（因为我对经济的事情一翘不通，所以我写那篇I的时候就避免了这个投入产出比，我怕写出来的都是专业错误，呵呵）这段你写了两个观点，不如分段说，更清晰一些
Secondly, given large number of students and limited resources, it is realistic( more practical) to provide more general courses to the students.第一点In one hand（On one hand）, the resources of the school are limited and various according to the schools. The schools should manage their money and resources in a (+effective)way that (+could)both fulfill the students’ interests and overcome the financial limit(limits). Under these circumstances, education should put the requirement of the majority into the first priority（去掉first）. Providing the basic knowledge to build up knowledge framework for the students would be the most emerging goal.第二点On the other hand, due to various family backgrounds, living condition(s)and plenty of other unexpected factors, the interests of an individual cannot be determined easily. Some students may have a broad interest(a broad range of interests/multiple interests)in many aspects whereas the interests(of) some(去掉some) other students may change overtime as they get more information related to the subject. General education could give students more space to choose their career path for further development. In addition, the mobility of many students(most students) makes it even harder to determine their interests or fit their interests with proper education design. In the Unites States, researchers(According to a survey carried by U.S.XXX finds) find there are 5% of the students change their elementary school 2-3 times even within one year, which makes it impossible to orient the students’ interests, whereas the general education aimed to the multitude will reduce this problem to the least point. After all, education is a supplementary tool, the actual technique and real operation students will encounter during work needs familiarity with the tools and experience on a situation dependent manner.（应该再明确一下有效性这件事情，我的意思就是说你最好时时刻刻地讲基础教育怎么有效了，对社会经济，如果为每个学生设计一套方案，那资金不够，即便勉强够了，那么小孩能成材吗，如果不能成材就等于是资源和金钱的浪费，这就没有效果，相反基础教育省钱，却效果不错，小孩转学也能跟得上，不用担心其他地方的特殊性，学的都差不多，都是基础教育，都对未来有好处，都是未来事业的基础）

Admittedly, a thorough education should give each students room to extend their interests and passion. Everyone is born different, which make our society diverse and attractive and it is exact this diversity contribute to our lustrous universe. Education should design to let them dig out their intelligence according to their interests. “Interest is the best instructor.” It is the interest that impulse the enlightening outcome which would in turn deeper the interests and promote another circle which ultimately lead one to his culmination. （如果写教育和兴趣结合才更有效的话，你可以找个例子说说，甚至编个例子，比如说谢军这是因为小时侯学校开了象棋选修课，她又对象棋赶兴趣，又有好的老师结合她的特点辅导她，他就的了世界冠军，我的MOZART例子其实也是编的，呵呵）
In summary, general purpose of the education requires it provide basic and general knowledge to the majority to be effective. Whereas individuals’ interests should also be concerned to make use of his talent and let the students grow into a full-fledged adult.

感觉上LZ的前两段都是在写基础教育的重要性，最后一段是在说interests重要，要想做到effective就必须两者都要考虑，对吗？很遗憾的是，你的effective这个词说的太少了，这样的话会让人边看文章边去想，这样做会effective吗，我觉得写issue的时候你就得把读你文章的人当成白痴，什么话都明明白白的讲给他听，别叫他太动脑筋，这样做或者就能达到所谓的扣题，我记得ETS向来不是太过斟酌语言，主要是看观点，我的思维范围很窄，我能想到就这些，我觉得你把条理再梳理一下，讲讲有效性就很好了



A18

The above suggestion to retain 55 mph speed limit in Prunty County (P) and improve road conditions as the case in Butler County (B) is not cogent and lacks credibility. Closer scrutiny could reveal several logical fallacies such as mistaking the correlation as a causal relationship and committing false analogy as illustrated below.(很特别的开头，与北美出招不同)

First of all, whether the result of less accidents happening B is due to their road improvement projects is open to doubt.（TS,这段是在找其他原因） The arguer mistakes the correlation between the improvement of road conditions and the decreased reported accidents as a causal relationship. Whether the traffic tragedies are decreasing in B indeed is suspected in the first place. The evidence cited in the argument only indicates the decreased number of reported accidents. Whether there are any un-reported accidents, what percentage are the un-reported ones and how severe these accidents are cannot be neglected.（对，这个数据的问题我也认为可疑，只是觉得调查人员不容易，先放了他们吧） Additionally,myriads of variables take account the occurrence of traffic accidents（是否应该该为myriads of possibilities should be take into account）in addition to the condition of roads and speed limit, such as the geographic terrain of the roads, whether it contains steep inclines or declines（这是condition of roads吧）,①the strength of traffic regulation, whether there are severe punishments for those breaking the rules,②the degree of people’s attention, whether the society condemn those causing accidents instead of indifferent, etc.（对，执法力度和人们的态度是很重要的，让我想想这两句怎么说的更地道一点the force of traffic violation laws, whether drivers committing vehicle violations would be fined a lot, and the public’s consciousness of observing traffic regulations, whether the public and media would condemn those drivers who violate traffic regulations rather than indifferent to the accidents and drivers ） Without detail（detailed）information on the above related subjects, hardly can we make any conclusion that roads improvement is the primary cause of their safer traffic.

Secondly, even if we concede that the improvement projects do reduce the accidents in B, whether the same succeed could be applied in P is unwarranted.（TS，这段开始说类比错误）The arguer makes a false analogy without providing information of the two counties (我觉得such as以后的几项可以不要了，和后面的内容有重复)such as existing roads surface conditions, residents’ population, usage of the roads, percentage of passing by traffic, or people’s satisfaction of the traffic of these two counties.（经典的make a false analogy,大家都爱用） ①If B is located on a plain with most of its roads flat whereas P is situated in the mountain areas full of devious roads, the speed limit satisfied B might be dangerous for P.②If the main economy support for B is its leisure resorts with most of drivers observance the rules well whereas P has a large population of young people who are zealous about car racing, the improvement of road condition may even exacerbate the condition.（这两条理由叙述得好详细啊）It is also possible that B has already updated its roads with additional lanes and improved surface. Unless finding out the reasons causing accidents, any amendment upon traffic regulation is too hasty.

Moreover, the claim asserted that 45 mph fails to improve safety condition is unconvincing.The fact that most drivers exceeding the new speed limit doesn’t(does not) indicate the ineffectiveness of the regulation. It is likely that people have to take time getting used to the new speed limit, or there maybe plenty of new comers or driving passed drivers don’t notice the new speed limit.（又是一条详细的理由） Although the accidents rate is only decreased slightly, it is a promising sign for the future improvement. Further more, the effectiveness of the reducing limit speed should be monitored in long term. Without knowing the reasons people exceeding the speed, or the time scale used to judge the new limit, the conclusion is unpersuasive. （同样觉得调查人员不容易，就没去指责他们，这段你写了两个小错误）

To sum up, the argument is not well reasoned as it stands and renders it groundless. Without further discussion about the similarity of P and B, the condition of existing traffic and main reasons for the accidents in B, the restoration of 55 mph speed limit cannot be adopted.

LZ你也挺神的，很多地方都没按北美的方式出牌还写的这么洋洋洒洒的，这要换做是我详细叙述那么多理由，1个多小时也写不完哦：）

[ 本帖最后由 icestar 于 2007-6-2 22:46 编辑 ]