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[i习作temp] issue97 METTLE小组第二次作业by imagic80 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-6-8 20:54:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 97"It is unfortunate but true that political decisions and activities affect all aspects of people's lives."
人们社会生活由政治、经济、文化等生活构成。政治、经济、文化三者是相互联系、相互影响的。政治在很大程度上影响这经济、文化以及人们生活的方方面面。下面主要阐述了政治决策对经济、文化方面产生的巨大影响。
政治决策的正确与否可由经济的发展变化来验证。即经济是政治的试金石。
政治决策的正确与否也会给文化造成巨大的影响。
政治决策的正确与否还会影响到生活的其它方面,如环境保护等。
总之,由于政治决策的巨大影响力,国家政府部门在制定任何政策决定之前,一定要进行充分的调研,全面的考虑其对经济、文化以及生活的方方面面产生的影响。
From ancient time to modern society, human beings’ lives are made up of political life, economical life, culture life and so on. Political life, economical life, culture life have a strong relationship between each other. Political decision affects all aspects of people’s lives, such as economical life and culture life. In the following passage, I would like to discuss with you about the influence that political decision has on economical and culture lives.
Firstly, let us see the interplay between politic and economy. In other words, economical life is just like a touchstone for testing the effect that the political decision produces. As we all know, real estates market of China is very prosperous in recent years, which is a piece of good news for the real estates companies but a piece of bad news for the ordinary people. So many people can not afford buying a new house. Even if someone who can pay the first amount of money for their new houses, the rest of their lives will be lead under the shadow of debt. Others are forced to rent houses which wastes a lot of money. One of the reasons is the rapid increase of the population, the other is the monopoly of some real estate company who want to chase great profits by manipulating the house price. In order to inhibit this aberrant phenomenon, Chinese government makes a series of political decision. As a result, the house price stops to increase fiercely and begins to go into a stable state. If these policies keep on running for several years, most of the ordinary people can afford to have a comfortable home without heavy burden of debt. From this example, we can see how important the political decision is to the economical life.
Secondly, political decision also plays an important role in the culture life. If our government makes a political decision about the limitation of the public talk, the influence on culture will soon appear. The authors will lose creative passion with the speech limitation fetter. People fail to express themselves from inner heart. Every word, every sentence seems to be mendacious. In this circumstance, culture development will be ridiculous. Another point in case is the diplomatic polices, if our government establish a friendly relationship with a foreign countrysoon the culture of the foreign country will be introduced into our country and combine with our culture to make a brand new cultural picture which will benefits the people of the two country. So the importance of political decision on culture should not be understated.
Thirdly, besides economical and culture life, there are also other aspects of people’s lives which can be greatly influenced by the political decision. Take the environment protection for examples, until many country make diplomatic policies go hand by hand to protect the environment, a global wave of environment protection appears. As a result, many serious environment problems which can not be dealt with by only one country, now can be solved by the efforts of several countries. Affected by this global wave of environment protection, many ordinary people realize the meaning of protecting our surroundings and begin take effective measures to stop pollution spontaneously. To some extent, it is the political decision that forced ordinary people to form a sense of environment protection.
In sum, because the political decision has so prodigious importance on all aspects of people’s lives, the government should make comprehensive investigation and take all the influence into account before making any political decisions.
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发表于 2007-6-10 08:05:53 |只看该作者
From ancient time to modern society, human beings’ lives are made up of political life, economical life, culture life and so on(political, economical ,culture, etc do play important role in human being’s life). Political life, economical life, culture life have a strong relationship between each other. Political decision affects all aspects of people’s lives, such as economical life and culture life. In the following passage, I would like to discuss with you about the influence that political decision has on economical and culture lives.(看着很散,最好从开头就开始写出,I strong agree with the statement, for from ancient time to……还有你的语言有点中国化英语,试着写点长句,会好点!)
Firstly, let us see the interplay between politic and economy. In other words, economical life is just like a touchstone for testing the effect that the political decision produces. As we all know, real estates market of China is very prosperous in recent years, which is a piece of good news for the real estates companies but a piece of bad news for the ordinary people. So many people can not afford buying a new house. Even if someone who can pay the first amount of money for their new houses, the rest of their lives will be lead under the shadow of debt(they would unfortunately lead hard lives under the shadow of debt). Others are forced to rent houses which wastes a lot of money( why?). One of the reasons is the rapid increase of the population, the other is the monopoly of some real estate company who want to chase great profits by manipulating the house price. In order to inhibit this aberrant phenomenon, Chinese government makes a series of political decision. As a result, the house price stops to increase fiercely and begins to go into a stable state. If these policies keep on running for several years, most of the ordinary people can afford to have a comfortable home without heavy burden of debt. From this example, we can see how important the political decision is to the economical life.(我跟你一样初写的时候用例子充斥着整个段落,但其实说理性的语言更重要,而且我觉得你的例子都不能把我说服political decision is so important to the economy,就是因为说理的少了)
Secondly, political decision also plays an important role in the culture life. If our government makes a political decision about the limitation of the public talk(the talking freedom for the mass), the influence on culture will soon appear. The authors will lose creative passion with the speech limitation fetter. People fail to express themselves from inner heart. Every word, every sentence seems to be mendacious. In this circumstance, culture development will be ridiculous. Another point in case is the diplomatic polices, if our government establish a friendly relationship with a foreign country,soon the culture of the foreign country will be introduced into our country and combine with our culture to make a brand new cultural picture which will benefits the people of the two country. So the importance of political decision on culture should not be understated.
Thirdly, besides economical and culture life, there are also other aspects of people’s lives which can be greatly influenced by the political decision. Take the environment protection for examples, until many country make diplomatic policies go hand by hand to protect the environment, a global wave of environment protection appears. As a result, many serious environment problems which can not be dealt with by only one country, now can be solved by the efforts of several countries. Affected by this global wave of environment protection, many ordinary people realize the meaning of protecting our surroundings and begin take effective measures to stop pollution spontaneously. To some extent, it is the political decision that forced ordinary people to form a sense of environment protection.(这段就多了,要不你在开头段就说出来还有其他影响的方面,不然阅卷老师认为你在充字数了)
In sum, because the political decision has so prodigious importance influence on all aspects of people’s lives, the government should make comprehensive investigation and take all the influence into account before making any political decisions.

PS:in sum: 语言上有点Chinglish,例子说得不是很饱满,还有用词上还要注意的。
           段落的展开:开头可以更直接点,觉得分这几点方面不是很妥,换我写就会让步先,admittedly political has a great impact on people’s daily life, though it is not necessarily to say all aspects of people’s life, for ……段落的展开就会是,前一段写影响,第2,3段就写为什么不是所有了。
           不好意思,由于要准备考试,只能先看到这了

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板凳
发表于 2007-6-10 19:24:43 |只看该作者
issue97 METTLE小组第二次作业by imagic80
Issue 97"It is unfortunate but true that political decisions and activities affect all aspects of people's lives."
人们社会生活由政治、经济、文化等生活构成。政治、经济、文化三者是相互联系、相互影响的。政治在很大程度上影响这经济、文化以及人们生活的方方面面。下面主要阐述了政治决策对经济、文化方面产生的巨大影响。
政治决策的正确与否可由经济的发展变化来验证。即经济是政治的试金石。
政治决策的正确与否也会给文化造成巨大的影响。
政治决策的正确与否还会影响到生活的其它方面,如环境保护等。
总之,由于政治决策的巨大影响力,国家政府部门在制定任何政策决定之前,一定要进行充分的调研,全面的考虑其对经济、文化以及生活的方方面面产生的影响。
From ancient time to modern society, human beings’ lives are made up of political life, economical life, culture life (在google上查没有这个说法,说culture好了) and so on. Political life, economical life, culture life (同上,另外这里再说一遍比较啰嗦,把两句用which连起来比较好) have a strong relationship between (relationship是with吧) each other. Political decision affects all aspects of people’s lives, such as economical life and culture life. (尽量换种表达吧) In the following passage, I would like to discuss with you (discuss with得是双方的互动,作文里怎么会有互动呢?建议改成present之类的) about the influence that(这里that省略比较通顺) political decision(*1) has on economical and culture lives. 感觉论点提的还不是特别有力
Firstly, let us see (太口语化了) the interplay (这里应该是interrelationship,interplay是互动的意思) between politic(politics) and economy. In other words, economical life is just like a touchstone for testing the effect that(还是应该省略that) the political decision produces(produce effect没这个搭配吧?). As we all know, real estates(google上查应该是estate单数) market of China is very prosperous in recent years(recent years应该用过去时), which is a piece of good news for the real estates(同上) companies but a piece of bad news(bad one) for the ordinary people(people可以换成populace,civilian,citizens之类). So many people can not afford buying a new house. Even if someone who can pay the first amount of money for their(主谓一致的问题,前面是someone这里应该是his new house) new houses, the rest of their lives will be lead under the shadow of debt(debts). Others are forced to rent houses which (建议用is a waste of money) wastes a lot of money. One of the reasons is the rapid increase of the population; the other is the monopoly of some real estate company(companies) who want to chase great profits by manipulating the house price. In order to inhibit this aberrant phenomenon, Chinese government makes a series of political decision(a series of decision’s’). As a result, the house price stops(*3,另外stop to是停下来做某事,不是停止某事) to increase fiercely and begins(*3 begin to do) go into a stable state. If these policies keep on running for several years, most of the ordinary people can(用一般将来时比较好will be able to) afford to have (这里用afford就可以了,afford to do有点中文化) a comfortable home without heavy burden of debt. From this example, we can see how important the political decision(*1,important的应该是political decisions的impact或influence吧) is to the economical life.说房价的例子的时候压缩一下,之说与影响人们生活有关的东西,背景之类尽量简略一些,但是如何影响,时好时坏要说清楚
Secondly, political decision (*1) also plays an important role in the culture life. If our government makes a political decision about the limitation of the public talk (the freedom of speech), the influence on culture will soon appear. The authors (*1) will lose creative passion with the speech limitation fetter.  People (will) fail to express themselves from inner heart(from有点怪,express their thought deep in their hearts). Every word, every sentence (will seem) seems to be mendacious. In (Under) this circumstance, culture development will be ridiculous. Another point in case(用的恰到好处) is the diplomatic polices,(不应该是逗号) if our government establish a friendly relationship with a foreign(这里用another country 就好了) country,soon the culture of the foreign country will be introduced into our country(ours指代清楚的时候尽量用省略,这样有点啰嗦) and combine with our culture to make a brand new cultural picture(很形象的说法,只是不是很地道) which will benefits(去s) the people of the two country(-ies). So the importance of political decision on culture should not be understated.
Thirdly, besides economical and culture life(放后面), there are also other aspects of people‘s lives which can be greatly influenced by the political decision(*1). Take the environment protection for examples(-s), until many country(-ies) make diplomatic policies go hand by hand(perfect用的好) to protect the environment, a global wave(想法很好,很形象,只是这个用法可能不太对,会让人很难理解) of environment protection appears. As a result, many serious environment problems which can not be dealt with by(去掉with) only one country,  now can be solved by(with) the efforts of several countries. Affected by this global wave of environment protection, many ordinary people realize(建议改成began to realize) the meaning of protecting our surroundings(这个还是用environment吧,或者改用nature之类都好,surroundings不合适) and begin(begin to) take effective measures to stop pollution spontaneously. To some extent, it is the political decision that forced ordinary people to form a sense of environment protection.(总结的很好,合时宜也很通顺)
在开头的时候既然说要从经济和文化两方面说,这里就有点矛盾了,最好改下开头。
In sum(To sum up), because the political decision(*1) has so(such) prodigious importance(important impact) on all aspects of people’s lives, the government should make comprehensive investigation(-s) and take all the influence into account before making any political decisions.
*1. 建议看一下语法说的冠词部分,没有特指的political decision最好用复数不加冠词,特指的才加the
*2. 注意主谓一致
*3. 时态要多注意一下,说平抑房价的时候是过去发生的,都应该用过去时或完成时,

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RE: issue97 METTLE小组第二次作业by imagic80 [修改]

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