Issue31 [METTLE小组第三次作业] by hejielady

hejieladyUID: 2282175

Issue31 "Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."

Research is an indispensable instrument to the development and progress of a society. Thus, money spent on research of which will bring us the greatest benefit is always a good investment. When it comes to some controversial research, nonetheless, we have to weigh the possible results may caused and should be more cautious to make a decision whether to do so.

Research is omnipresent in the era of innovation, and it plays a very important role in furthering our society; it can be found in areas of farm, pharmacy, enterprise, school and military affairs, etc. The benefits of the achievements of research are uncountable; farmers can enjoy significant harvest thanks to the project of Cross-fertilize of Corps, patience can be more confident against diseases because of the superior medicine, and entrepreneurs can gain more profits in the results of kinds of inventions. In a word, we are involving in a world of research brings us numerous advantages. Therefore, it is worth for us to spend large money on research.

Whereas money for research seems always a good investment, it is infeasible to waste huge number of money on some controversial research. A typically case in point is the contention of North Korea(KP)Nuclear Weapon Issue. The  government of KP insisted on doing research on Nuclear Weapon in the name of defending its nation and its people, while regardless of the strong opposition of other nations. As each of us is looking forward to a peaceful society and joint efforts have been made among nations to build a harmonious world, no one would allow KP to do research on Nuclear Weapon of which will lead to an unimaginable disasters. Nuclear Weapon is by no means the only measure for Iran to consolidate its nation, it is very possible for KP leader to alternate other methods-- to improve its economical situation, to enhance its diplomatic policy and so on and so forth. KP's action was globalization-challenged and betrayed the wish and benefit of whole human race. If the KP  government sticks to its opinions, they will suffer severe reproach and finally be trapped in a hopeless situation. In other words, Expensing large amount of money on disputable research is not desirable.

In sum, our society cannot enjoy a considerable improvement without the participating of large number of research and we are willing to expend money on them. Nonetheless, devoting on some controversial research is simply a way to research trouble.


[ 本帖最后由 hejielady 于 2007-6-14 17:55 编辑 ]

drlzUID: 2329258

你的作文我没有仔细看  但是我发现了一个政治性的错误
按照伊朗政府官方的说法 他们进行核实验的目的是为了和平利用核能，而不是发展核武器，至于他们的到底葫芦里卖的什么药只有他们自己知道，所以你文章中The Iran government insisted on doing research on Nuclear Weapon in the name of defending its nation and its people, while regardless of the strong opposition of other nations.这句话是错误的。但是你把Iran换成
Korea就可以了，你这句话真好描述的是朝鲜发展核武器的目的。

hejieladyUID: 2282175

嘿嘿，　

秋千UID: 2317735

呵呵，虽然改了，但是还差第一句还是iran哦

hejieladyUID: 2282175

惭愧，嘿嘿！

weilailyUID: 2300344

Research is an indispensable instrument to the development and progress of a society. Thus, money spent on research ofof去掉 which will bring us the greatest benefit is always a good investment. When it comes to some controversial researchresearches, nonetheless, we have to weigh the possible results may causedby these researches and should be more cautious to make a decision whether to do so.
Research is omnipresent in the era of innovation, and it plays a very important role in furthering further觉得用的不对试一下advanceour society; it can be found in areas of farmfarming, pharmacy, enterprise, school and military affairs, etc. The benefits of the achievements of research are uncountable; farmers can enjoy thesignificant harvest thanks to the project of Cross-fertilize of Corps, patience can be more confident against diseases because of theapplying of the superior medicine, and entrepreneurs can gain more profits in from the results of kinds of kinds of 换someinventions. In a word, we are involving in a world of research brings us numerous advantages这句语法有问题. Therefore, it is worthworth的用法我吃不准，但觉得beneficial好点)for us to spend large money on research.
Whereas money for research seems always a good investment, it is infeasible to waste huge number of money on some controversial researchresearches. A typicallytypicalcase in point is the contention of Iran kp”Nuclear Weapon Issue. The  government of North Korea(KP) insisted on doing research on Nuclear Weapon in the name of defending its nation and its people, while regardless of the strong opposition复数形式 of other nations. As each of us is looking forward to a peaceful society and joint efforts have been made among nations to build a harmonious world, no one would allow KP to do (the)research on Nuclear Weapon of你的of 用的很多阿 which will lead to an unimaginable disasterswhich will lead an unimaginable disasters to our world 会不会好点，也可能是语言习惯问题吧. Nuclear Weapon is by no means the only measure for Irankp吧 to consolidate its nation, it is very possible for KP leader to alternatealternate觉得不对还是find吧 other methods-- to improve its economical situation, to enhance its diplomatic policy and so on and so forth. KP's action was globalization-challenged and betrayed the wish and benefit of whole human race. If the KP  government sticks to its opinions, they will suffer severe reproachby the world and finally be trapped in a hopeless situation. In other words, Expensing expense 是名词，没动词的含义还是spending吧large amount of money ona disputable researchresearch 是可数的，文章很多这样错误，ets标题的research是泛指的is not desirable.
In sum, our society cannot enjoy a considerable improvement without the participating of large number of researchresearches哈哈 and we are willing to expend为什么不用spend or investmoney on them. Nonetheless, devoting 少money,觉得devote 用的也有点问题on some controversial researchresearches is simply a way to research trouble.不太顺但又说不出问题
说一下感受吧。我是第一次改作文，哈哈。觉得例子还是多了点，分析的成分相对的少，（我也是这样的毛病，正在改正中）可以分析一下money invested on the controversial research 的几点坏处，例如 对人类环境及对人类道德观念的坏处for example gene copy. 总之是用例子辅助你的论述的。哈哈，说着容易做着难。大家共同努力啊。
我的文章在四十楼，马上贴出。注：我是naked eye

[ 本帖最后由 weilaily 于 2007-6-14 19:16 编辑 ]

weilailyUID: 2300344

kao .不好意思没用好颜色。改的有点乱，下次注意。见谅了

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

Issue31 [METTLE小组第三次作业] by hejielady
Issue31 "Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."
Research is an indispensable instrument to the development and progress of a society. Thus, money spent on research of 去掉of which will bring us the greates用在这里似乎有点太极端化了，这样就把值得投资的research 的范围大大缩小了，用great 就可以 benefit is always a good investment. When it comes to some controversial research, nonetheless, we have to weigh the possible results it may caused and should be more cautious to make a decision on whether to do so. 开头明确提出了观点，也为下文的分论点作好了铺垫

Research is omnipresent in the era of innovation, and it plays a very important role in furthering our society是否应该是furthering the development of our society, 请指教; it can be found in areas of farm, pharmacy, enterprise, school and military affairs, etc. The benefits of the achievements略显累赘，可去掉 of research are uncountable; farmers can enjoy significant这个词用在这里不大妥，我印象中significant 是用来表示意义的重大，而不适合表示大收获 harvest thanks to the project of Cross-fertilize of Corps, patiencepatients can be more confident against diseases because of the superior medicine, and entrepreneurs can gain more profits in the results of kinds of inventions. In a word, we are involving in a world of research which brings us numerous advantages. Therefore, it is worth for us to spend large money on research.作者用了三个例证来证明research 的重要作用，条理清晰，但是的有一点，还应该强调下研究与这些成果间的逻辑关系

Whereas money for research seems always a good investment, it is infeasible同样这个词不是很妥 to waste huge number of money on some controversial research. A typically改typical case in point is the contention of North Korea(KP)Nuclear Weapon Issue. The government of KP insisted on doing research on Nuclear Weapon in the name of defending its nation and its people, while regardless of the strong opposition of other nations. As each of us is looking forward to a peaceful society and joint efforts have been made among nations to build a harmonious world, no one would allow KP to do research on Nuclear Weapon of 可去掉 which will lead to an unimaginable disasters. Nuclear Weapon is by no means the only measure for Iran作者是笔误吧 to consolidate its nation, it is very possible这个用法有点中式 for KP leader to alternate to other methods-- to improve its economical situation, to enhance可以参考用optimize its diplomatic policy and so on and so forth这个用法常见吗，请指教. KP's action was globalization-challenged and betrayed觉得欠妥 the wish and benefit of whole human race. If the KP  government sticks to its opinions, they will suffer severe reproach这是个动词 and finally be trapped in a hopeless situation. In other words, Expensing large amount of money on disputable research is not desirable.个人认为例子举得太长，而分析的部分不够透彻，而且我觉得有争议的研究也不一定全都是错误的，与作者在开头段提出的谨慎对待并不相符

In sum, our society cannot enjoy a considerable improvement without the participating of large number of research and we are willing to expend money on them. Nonetheless, devoting on some controversial research is simply a way to research trouble 结尾再提出研究有争议的问题也是解决问题的方法就有些太突兀了，不能与上文呼应，尤其是用了simply 感觉像是推翻了前面的说法


个人愚见，仅供参考，改文章时总是用吹毛求疵的眼光看待，自己写文章时能头脑清醒点就好了，跟楼主一起加油！

我还想问问搂主文章是不是能够在规定时间完成，我离目标仿佛还很远……

[ 本帖最后由 yaoqian0424 于 2007-6-15 00:41 编辑 ]

weilailyUID: 2300344

??

[ 本帖最后由 weilaily 于 2007-6-15 17:10 编辑 ]

hejieladyUID: 2282175

谢谢两位给改的作业啊,这几天忙晕了,作业都来不及完成了,31这文章质量不高,觉得I还是很难写,时间比第一第二篇短很多,但还是要两个小时左右, 而且字数也不够,还是没什么提高与进步!

不过不会灰心,大家一起努力,一起进步!:handshake