Issue69 【METTLE小组】第四次作业 by happyhappypig

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

Issue69
"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development."

Words: 684
With dramatic development of modern science, plenty of our imaginations and dreams come true: flight could help us shuttle between continents conveniently; robots would go deep into the oceans to detect minerals and new species for human; cloning technique could duplicate our own organ to save lives; discovery of innovative drugs would defeat lots severe diseases. However, science is always a double-edged sword, when enjoying the merits it brings to us, we should also be vigilant and supervise the abuse of these techniques to avoid unnecessary conflictions. Government, with the utmost power and authority, is the best and most suitable candidate to regulate scientific research.

First of all, the bases of scientific researches require tight regulation and restriction to be effective to achieve reconciliation between society and great nature. The promotions of scientific research trigger the split among human beings and the living environment, nature ecosystem, ethical issues or religion belief. Nowadays, the adaptations of the society and nature to each other are the priority concern of our society. Although perfect scientific environment should be full of freedom, yet based on humanism and the idea to keep natural balance, the actual experiment procedures or conditions still needs monition and limitations. For example, before legislation on animal experiments, cats were treated as a perfect model to study brains with electrodes or other equipments implanting onto their heads cruelly, which bring them tremendous pain and irreparable deformity. Similarly, rats, mice and monkeys were either injected virus to study infectious diseases or spread chemicals onto their skins to apply allergic tests. These brutal activities should be and must be prohibited. We shouldn’t take advantage of our developed scientific techniques to these miserable animals. After all, they have the same rights as us living on this planet. Government, the entity with extreme authority and power, should play essential role in these researches’ regulations.

However, restrictions upon scientific study should protect research freedom rather than making any hindrance. On one hand, only the government has the rights and forces to set up legislations or codes to regulate the research projects after thorough analysis of their future development potentials. On the other hand, government is also the only obstacle for the development of researches when the government makes any unwise decisions or discriminations. For instance, in 2004, more than 2000 research scientists in France joined the demonstration to remonstrate the continuing cutting or frozen of research funds and dramatic decreasing of research scientists positions, with 81% support from local residents. Similarly, the restriction of international students to certain projects in the United States also stir up people’s objection and raise the issue of race discrimination and research equity. Clearly we can see that when facing the unknown world of knowledge, every scientist is curious and ready to devote all their energies into it. If the government ungroundly restricts their steps forwards, it might even lose the support from the general public, let alone any essential scientific progressions. Therefore, without thorough investigation, the government should avoid hasty decisions upon the regulations of scientific researches.

Admittedly, government regulation is not an elixir to all the scientific studies with its effectiveness limited. Myriads of issues related to innovative techniques would initiate unfailing arguments which could only be appeased with more understandings but can never be solved. For example, the legislation upon cloning technique is neither urgent nor difficult, but the applicability of the technique and irreconcilability of the ethical or culture violation is still suspended. For instance, if some one is cloned, who will be his parents? The one who clones himself definitely want to be his own clone’s parent, however they have the same genetic background and actually his parents should be the clone’s parents. Issues like whether we should allow or abandon the clones of the homosexual partners, or whether the society would discriminate these clones needs thorough consideration and elaboration.

Taken together, only after finding the fulcrum between stimulating the curiosity of the scientists on research and the overact worrying about unethical thoughts or procedures, can the government find the balance and guide the scientific research to the prosperous direction.

[ 本帖最后由 happyhappypig 于 2007-6-23 14:01 编辑 ]

hejieladyUID: 2282175

看了下你的作文,来不及改,觉得你写得很好,下回我们互改吧!

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

AIssue69 【METTLE小组】第四次作业 by happyhappypig
Issue69
"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development."
Words: 684
With dramatic development of modern science, plenty of our imaginations and dreams come true: flight could help us shuttle between continents conveniently; robots would go deep into the oceans to detect minerals and new species for human; cloning technique could duplicate our own organorgans to save lives; discovery of innovative drugs would defeat lots severe diseases. However, science is always a double-edged sword, when enjoying the merits it brings to us, we should also be vigilant and supervise the abuse of these techniques to avoid unnecessary conflictions.应该不仅仅是滥用的问题，即使合理利用技术也会带来一定的危害，而且和前文always a double-edged sword 不大符合了，这句话可以再斟酌下 Government, with the utmost power and authority, is the best and most suitable candidate to regulate scientific research. 个人认为这句话有点太绝对了，用了两个最高级，且跟前文似乎有点逻辑断裂，需要加适当的连接词或简单说明
这样的开头中规中矩，应该比较符合ETS的口味

First of all, the bases of scientific researches require tight regulation and restriction to be effective to achieve reconciliation between society and great nature大自然是这么说的吗？往指教. The promotions of scientific research trigger the split among human beings and the living environment, nature ecosystem, ethical issues or religion belief.你可以加个程度副词，并不是所有的科学研究都是会引起这结果的 Nowadays, the adaptations of the society and nature to each other有点累赘，参考 mutual adaptation between society and nature are the priority concern of our society. Although perfect scientific environment should be full of freedom, yet based on humanism and the idea to keep natural balance, the actual experiment procedures or conditions still needs monition and limitations. For example, before legislation on animal experiments, cats were treated as a perfect model to study brains with electrodes or other equipments implanting onto their heads cruelly, which bring them tremendous pain and irreparable再考虑下吧，这词主要意思是不可修补 deformity. Similarly, rats, mice and monkeys were either injected virus to study infectious diseases or spread chemicals onto their skins to apply allergic tests. These brutal activities should be and must be prohibited. 学医的你也知道禁止是不可能的，限制或是给予动物福利才现实点We shouldn’t take advantage of our developed scientific techniques tofrom these miserable animals. After all, they have the same rights as us living on this planet. Government, the entity with extreme authority and power, should play essential role in these researches’ regulations. 这段论证不够充分，大段都是在说应该限制，但是到最后一句才提到了government的作用，显得有些苍白无力，这样我们还可以设想国际动物保护组织也可以起同样的作用而不只是政府有能力

However, restrictions upon scientific study should protect research freedom rather than making any hindrance限定下限制来自政府. On one hand, only the government has the rights and forces to set up legislations or codes to regulate the research projects after thorough analysis of their future development potentials. On the other hand, government is also the only obstacle for the development of researches when the government makes any unwise decisions or discriminations.这两方面之间的逻辑关系不是很清晰，不太明白说明了什么问题 For instance, in 2004, more than 2000 research scientists in France joined the demonstration to remonstrate the continuing cutting or frozen of research funds and dramatic decreasing of research scientists positions, with 81% support from local residents. Similarly, the restriction of international students to certain projects in the United States also stir up people’s objection and raise the issue of race discrimination and research equityinequity. Clearly we can see that when facing the unknown world of knowledge, every scientist is curious and ready to devote all their energies into it.加 If the government ungroundly 查不到这个词restricts their steps forwards, it might even lose the support from the general public, let alone any essential scientific progressionsprogress 也可以当名词. Therefore, without thorough investigation, the government should avoid hasty decisions upon the regulations of scientific researches. 我觉得这不仅仅是没有深入调查的结果，也应该是政府权衡利弊，作出妥协的结果，仅供参考

Admittedly, government regulation is not an elixir to all the scientific studies with its effectiveness limited. Myriads of issues related to innovative techniques would initiate unfailing如果LZ用来表示持久的争论就不适合用这个词 arguments which could only be appeased with more understandings but can never be solved. For example, the legislation upon cloning technique is neither urgent nor difficult, but the applicability of the technique and irreconcilability of the ethical or culture violation is still suspended. For instance, if some one is cloned, who will be his parents? The one who clones himself definitely want to be his own clone’s parent, however they have the same genetic background and actually his parents should be the clone’s parents.看懂你这句话的意思有点费力，语言上是否可以再组织一下，更明确指代 Issues like whether we should allow or abandon the clones of the homosexual partners, or whether the society would discriminate these clones needs thorough consideration and elaboration. 这段论证的目的是什么呢，为了说明政府作用并不是万能的，我们应该思考和努力？但是和第二句话的意思又不大符合，可能是我的悟性还不够，LZ可再斟酌下

Taken together, only after finding the fulcrum between stimulating the curiosity of the scientists on research and the overact 没有这用法worrying about unethical thoughts or procedures, can the government find the balance and guide the scientific research to the prosperous direction

LZ的语言还是很不错的，红宝书背得很扎实，除了个别词用得不是太恰当
文章的总结构也还较清晰，但是对分论点的论证还存在一定缺陷，一三段举的例子还不够充分支持论点，逻辑上还存在断裂
感觉LZ的Argument写得要好一些

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

~~~刚才回了一个，结果死机了，我哭
仔细看了ls的评论，我写这篇东西的时候确实逻辑不够严谨，而且经常写着写着就偏离原来的outline了，很是郁闷
我的issue逻辑上是很需要提高的，现在感觉有点摸不着道，还请大家多多指导:handshake
在次多谢yaoqian

kelly下星期我们互改咯;)

strokes7UID: 2262256

路过~~~~