argument51 [SweetBox小组]第5次作业 by seventeen

seventeenUID: 2293819

argument51[sweetbox小组]


======================Argument 51==================
51The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."

The newsletter concludes that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment . To justify this conclution the newsletter notes that doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quikly after severe musle strain. Furthermore, this hypothesis has been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients .I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects .

Firstly, the doctors can’t convincing me that some patients who are after severe muscle strain may suffer by secondary infections ,let it alone that these patients can’t heal quickly because of the severe muscle strain .Without some approved evidence the whole newsletter fails to logically support the assumption.

Secondly, the comparison of the two groups has some logical problems . The newsletter didn’t give us any information about the two group patients’ age ,sex ,health condition and so on .Evenmore ,the two groups were treated by different doctor . These  problems can’t approve that the first group heal more quickly than the other group , merely because that the first group take antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and the other group were given sugar pills . Perhaps ,that is because the two doctors’  leechcraft , or perhaps the first group patients are healthier than the other .

Thirdly , the sugar pill may affect the  results of the study . Aside from giving a medical survey or some study result ,we can’t  assess the study’s result that taking antibiotics as part of their treatment is heipful to the patients is reliable . Evenmore , antibiotics may not be useful to all the patients , it may have some side-effect to some people .Or  perhaps some people are allergic to the medicine . Untill the argument rulling out all other possible interferential factors I can’t be convinced by it.

In conclution, as it stands the argument is unconvincing .To strength it the author must provide strong evidence that the comparison of the two group is reliable . A study of the two group patients’ circs ,such as healthy condition ,sex , age and so on is needed .To better assess the argument I would need the information to prove the study is conducted under the same condition except the antibiotics , and a statistic survey obout the incidence of secondary infections among the patients who are suffered from muscle strain .

jiangyue011UID: 2340595

The newsletter concludes that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment . To justify this conclution the newsletter notes that doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quikly after severe musle strain. Furthermore, this hypothesis has been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients .I find this argument logically unconvincing in several respects . （这种开头虽然有点长，我觉得还是可以，好多人都在争论这种和那种简洁的开头，我觉得两种都可以。 这种可以方便理清个思路以便下面写。）

Firstly, the doctors can’t convincing（convince） me that some patients who are after severe muscle strain may suffer by secondary infections ,let it alone that these patients can’t heal quickly because of the severe muscle strain .Without some approved evidence the whole newsletter fails to logically support the assumption. (太短)

Secondly, the comparison of the two groups has some logical problems . The newsletter didn’t give us any information about the two group patients’ age ,sex ,health condition and so on .Evenmore ,the two groups were treated by different doctor . These  problems can’t approve that the first group heal more quickly than the other group , merely because that the first group take antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and the other group were given sugar pills . Perhaps ,that is because the two doctors’  leechcraft , or perhaps the first group patients are healthier than the other . （稍微有点乱）

Thirdly , the sugar pill may affect the  results of the study . Aside from giving a medical survey or some study result ,we can’t  assess the study’s result that taking antibiotics as part of their treatment is heipful to the patients is reliable . Evenmore , antibiotics may not be useful to all the patients , it may have some side-effect to some people .Or  perhaps some people are allergic to the medicine . Untill the argument rulling out all other possible interferential factors I can’t be convinced by it.
In conclution, as it stands the argument is unconvincing .To strength it the author must provide strong evidence that the comparison of the two group is reliable . A study of the two group patients’ circs ,such as healthy condition ,sex , age and so on is needed .To better assess the argument I would need the information to prove the study is conducted under the same condition except the antibiotics , and a statistic survey obout the incidence of secondary infections among the patients who are suffered from muscle strain .

文章中有很多拼写错误，我就不一一改了,贴在word里面一看就知道了,希望在以后贴上来给别人改的时候自己至少应该先检查下再说,呵呵。
开头和结尾都写那么长我觉得没必要，太耽误时间了。结尾我觉得可以短点。
Anway, 下次你可以做得更好,加油。