Issue5 【天道酬勤作文互改小组】第二次作业

DavidBoyUID: 2140040

题目：ISSUE 5 - "A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."
字数：315          用时：2:12:31          日期：2007-6-28
提纲：
反对
正：规范的教育体系，均衡教育水平
反：地区教育水平差异，地区、民族特殊需求
结论：不需要统一所有课程
The author concerns that all the students should study the same national curriculum before they enter college in stead of let different parts offer different courses. Although that will provide several benifits, I don't agree with the author's conclusion.

Requiring all students to acuqire the same national curriculun could insure the quality of teaching process. The nation could institute an curriculum system to ensure all students in the country to get sufficient basic knowledge to get ready to learn more in the future.

What is more the nation could equation the development level of economic by education.But there are also realities against the above.

Different regions may have different teaching levels for many factors: climate, wage level, education policy and so on. What is suitable for one area possibly not suit another area. For example, in one area it may be difficult to teach sequence, but the same curriculum seems easy for another area's students because of the high level teaching skills of the teachers there.

Some special region may have its own requiring besides general education.  Every region would focus on its own more than others. The regions holding diverse geography, history, or politics will probably give prominebce to their own feather. A state having several famous people flourishing in the present may want to introduce them to the students. A state possessing many mountains and beatiful landscap may emphasize that. This process could help  students comprehense their homeland and foster a sense of pride of theirselves. What is more, many races have their own demand. Hispanic would reqiure their children to learn Spanish in particular which could not get satisfaction by the same national curriculum.

Have all students learning the same currilum constituted by the nation could not meet various reality despite its advantages. The nation could regulate some general curriculum all students must learn but don't have to unify all the curriculum.

[ 本帖最后由 DavidBoy 于 2007-6-29 08:21 编辑 ]

classicalfansUID: 2353503

ISSUE 5 - "A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

The author concerns about that all the students should study the same national curriculum before they enter college instead of offering different courses. Although that will provide several benifits, I don't agree with the author's conclusion.

Requiring all students to receive the same national curriculun could insure the quality of teaching process. The nation could institute a curriculum system to ensure all students in the country to get sufficient basic knowledge to learn more in the future.

What is more, the nation could equation the development level of economic by education.But there are also realities against the above.

Different regions may have different levels in education with factors: climate, wage level, education policy and so on. What is suitable for one area possibly not suit other areas. For example, in one area it may be difficult to teach sequence, but the same curriculum seems easy for another area's students because of the highly teaching skills by teachers there.

Some special region may have its own requiring besides general education.  Every region would focus on its own more than others. The regions holding diverse geography, history, or politics will probably give prominebce to their own feather. A state having several famous people flourishing in the present may want to introduce them to the students. A state possessing many mountains and beautiful landscape may emphasize on that. This process could help students comprehense their homeland and foster a sense of pride of themselves. What is more, many races have their own demand. Hispanic would reqiure their children to learn Spanish in particular which could not get satisfaction with the same national curriculum.

Have all students learning the same currilum constituted by the nation could not meet various reality despite its advantages. The nation could regulate some general curriculum all students must learn but don't have to unify them all.

windturbineUID: 2356375

The author concerns that all the students should study the same national curriculum before they enter college in stead of let different parts offer different courses. Although that will provide several benefits（error：benefit 此外还有：merit，advantage）, I（写议论文少用I，显得过于主观） don't agree with the author's conclusion. (写成了一个argument的开头，第一段的最后一句应该是提出你的topic sentence，而不是你是否同意作者的观点，而且issue的题目只是一个话题，而不是一个观点)

Requiring all students to acuqire（typo, 而且acquire的意思是通过学习获得，curriculum是课程，不能学得） the same national curriculun（typo curriculum） could insure the quality of teaching process. The nation could institute an（typo a） curriculum system to ensure all students in the country to get sufficient basic knowledge to get ready to learn more in the future.（这里可以用正反对比，如果没有国标的课表，有些不发达的地区会比发达地区的学生少上很多课程。而如果有国标，可以保证所有的地区的孩子都能得到最基本的教育，这上面可以举我国义务教育的例子）

What is more the nation could equation(equation 是名词) the development level of economic by education. But there are also realities against the above.（这段话读不懂，是不是想进行转折？可以说成However, countries, especially ones with vast land territories, are constituted by several provinces, states, or districts, which are naturally varies from one to the other in aspects, for instance, the economic development, the education facilities, the race or religion component of the local residents. ）

Different regions may have different teaching levels for many factors: climate, wage level, education policy and so on. What is suitable for one area possibly not suit another area.（不合语法，成了疑问句） For example, in one area it may be difficult to teach sequence (sequence?), but the same curriculum seems easy for another area's students because of the high level teaching skills（可以说profession ability） of the teachers there.（例子要具体，）

Some special region may have its own(还可以是particular, unique) requiring(requirement) besides general education(可以说sanctioned curriculum).  Every region would focus on its own (interest?) more (rather) than others. The regions holding diverse geography, history, or politics (which) will probably give prominebce to their own feather(typo, 不过我不知道应该是什么). A state having several famous people flourishing in the present may want to introduce them to the students. A state possessing many mountains and beautiful landscap (typo landscape) may emphasize that. This process (typo: possession) could help  students comprehense（typo：comprehend 也可以说acquaint themselves with） their homeland and foster(foster 是指养育人或者动物， 可以说成cultivate) a sense of pride of theirselves(themselves). What is more（重复了，可以用moreover）, many races have their own demand. Hispanic would reqiure their children to learn Spanish in particular which could not get satisfaction by the same national curriculum.（例子查入的太生硬了，可以这么说Take the Hispanic citizens live in the United States for example）,

Have all students learning the same currilum（typo） constituted by the nation could not meet various reality despite its advantages.（没理由despite the advantage， 不如说： If imposing all schools within the boundary an identical curriculum, in all likelihood it would failed to be flexible enough to meet various situation in different regions, which overweight the advantages of the unified curriculum. ） The nation could regulate some general curriculum all students must learn but don't have to unify all the curriculum.

思路还是太直线了，希望广泛阅读别人的优秀范文，好文章不外乎语言、结构、论证、逻辑和思路这么几个要素。除了语言之外，结构背背就可以了，论证可以短期练习，逻辑注意一下就行了，思路看别人的文章来积累，都是可以短期就掌握的能力。而awe恰好不重视语言。所以前途还是光明的，加油！:)

[ 本帖最后由 windturbine 于 2007-6-29 20:46 编辑 ]