ISSUE185【0710天道酬勤互改小组】第五次作业

PilotBearUID: 2269456

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 494          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-7-4

I concede that scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful as the speaker, for they focus people's attention on problems in ways that other ways could not focus. However, at the same time I also believe that it is arbitrary to say that scandals are always useful, because the scandal would also do harm to the society.
                                       
In the era of fast communication of information, the media have become a significant way to uncover the truth. There are more and more scandals in the world now no matter in the area of politics, academia, sports, and entertainment. The people who are well known must be careful to their behavior, or there would be scandals be recovered. So the scandals are good way to supervise the people in power, excepting the media nobody could supervise them. Take the soccer scandal happened last season in Italy for example. The telephone conversation of the chairman of the champion term Juventus club and the high ranking Italian soccer federation officials were published last year. Then it became the biggest sport scandal in Italy. Finally, the chairman and his term were punished last year. Without the power of media nobody has enough power to force the Italian soccer federation and Italian law to punish the champion term of Italy.

What is more, in the area of academia the scandals are also a strong power to punish the one who cheat the others. The most famous scandal is the Korea scientist Dr. Hwang published his paper in the journal Science that claim his team had successful obtained stem cells from human embryos. But the allegations from co-workers exposed that he had falsified data. Only by the scandals could the cheat behaviors be punished and disclosed. Thus every researcher would know that they can not falsify their data or cheat in the papers. Otherwise more and more falsified data appear in the academia, the academia would be destroyed, and there would be no development of the science and technology.

However, not all the scandals exposed by the media is on the goal of solve the problems of our society. More and more private conversations and behaviors been publish in the media on the goal of attract people's attention and then earning more money. The death of the Princess Diana is caused by the over sum focus of media. And too much focus on the well known people sometimes would bring them a lot of problems. Such as their children can not live like the other common children. So the media should also have to pay attention on their behaviors. Too much scandals on the private behavior would not useful to the society and too much focus on the problems sometimes are also not good for solve the problems.

In sum, although scandals could enable people to focus on the problems, scandals are not always good to the society. Too much focus on the private problems would bring more problems.

surreal_stevenUID: 2239190

I concede that scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful as the speaker claims, for they focus people's attention on problems in ways that other ways methods注意词的替换could not focus 有点拗口. However, at the same time I also believe that it is arbitrary to say that scandals are always useful, because the scandal would also do harm to the society. 开头简洁，观点明确                                       


In the era of fast communication of information, the media have become a significant way to uncover（reveal） the truth. There are more and more scandals in the world now no matter in the area of politics, academia, sports, and entertainment. The people who are well known must be careful to their behavior, or there would be scandals be recovered ？？. So the scandals are good way to supervise the people in power, excepting the media nobody could supervise them. Take the soccer scandal happened last season in Italy for example. The telephone conversation of the chairman of the champion term Juventus club and the high ranking Italian soccer federation officials were published （exposed） last year. Then it became the biggest sport scandal in Italy. Finally, the chairman and his term were punished last year. Without the power of media nobody has enough power to force the Italian soccer federation and Italian law to punish the champion term of Italy. 这个例子很不错，学习！

What is more, in the area of academia the scandals are also a strong power to punish the one who cheat the others. The most famous scandal is the Korea scientist Dr. Hwang published his paper in the journal Science that claim his team had successful obtained stem cells from human embryos. But the allegations from co-workers exposed that he had falsified data. Only by the scandals could the cheat behaviors be punished and disclosed. Thus every researcher would know that they can not falsify their data or cheat in the papers. Otherwise more and more falsified data appear in the academia, the academia would be destroyed, and there would be no development of the science and technology. 与上一段平行的观点，例子同样不错



However, not all the scandals exposed by the media is on the goal of solve the problems of our society. More and more private conversations and behaviors been publish in the media on the goal of attract people's attention and then earning more money. The death of the Princess Diana is caused by the over sum focus of media有点中式英语的味道，过量？. And too much focus on the well known(famous) people sometimes would bring them a lot of problems. Such as their children can not live like the other common children ones. So the media should also have to pay attention on their behaviors. Too much scandals on the private behavior would not useful to the society and too much focus on the problems sometimes are also not good for solve the problems. 没具体展开，可惜了，我觉得最后一句才是该花重笔墨展开的。感觉这段的反驳有点浅，你想表达对丑闻的过多关注无益于解决问题，并对社会不利。Princess Diana的例子没讲清楚，要点出media由于过多关注她的丑闻才导致她死的，这才切题。名人的八卦点一下既可，关键是最后一句的展开才有深度




In sum, although scandals could enable people to focus on the problems, scandals are not always good to the society. Too much focus on the private problems would bring more problems.



作为一篇限时的文章写成这样已经很不错了，语言基本没问题的，同意2楼的观点：从开头和结尾来看本文的观点是中庸偏向说’坏处‘，但文章的主体确在说’好处‘。
建议简写第三段，重点展开第四段的画线句

这篇我也写了，有时间你可以看看，互相启发^_^ https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=697322&extra=page%3D1