issue126 society's external rewards are no measure of true success

beckyyeeUID：8330

society's external rewards are no measure of true success. True success can be gauged in relation to the goals one sets for oneself.

gteryyUID：114434

Before giving any comment to this issue, it is necessary for us to make the definition clear that what is exactly success. Since each man leads his life in his own way, there are various kinds of criterions of success. But one of them is unchangeable, that is the external rewards of the society. Therefore, I will not agree the argument that “Society’s external rewards are no measure of true success. True success can be gauged in relation to the goals one sets for oneself.

We have to confess that no matter success can be seen or not, as long as it exists, it must be embodied in some way, even the God cannot create a success which you cannot feel. For example, when an engineer finishes conducting building a bridge with his fellow workers, we see a beautiful bridge stand across the river, which provides us with convenient transportation, we call it a success; when a painter presents us a refined painting full of sense of beauty, which arouses our inspiration or love for life, we call it a success. Nevertheless, if someone tells you that he has got a goal, will you consider it to be a success? Certainly not. Setting a goal, and within the range one could reach, just makes the success to be possible, rather than success itself. If there is any success, it will be performed by the society’s external rewards, both physically and mentally.

If one sets a goal for oneself is a success, then success will be too easy to be called success. Everyone can set a goal irresponsibly, without endeavor to accomplish it. In this case, it is more appropriate to call the setting of a goal a failure than success. And personal goals can be of various kinds: a dandy may consider getting a pretty girl’s attention to be a success, can we call that a real success? Or a thief’s success is to steal money from a passenger’s pocket, can we admit that to be a real success? Moreover, even if one sets a goal, and try his best to reach it, there will be unavoidably two results, one is success and the other failure, so merely setting a goal cannot decides success or not.

Although our personal success may be too minute to be seen instantaneously, it will be accumulated to large scale to be conspicuously displayed from the society’s external rewords. In addition, for some people with special conditions, such as someone always being purposeless, or indolent, it is a incipient success for him to set a goal, but that’s not the true success by all means.

In one word, society’s external rewards are measures of true success, while it cannot be gauged only in relation to the goal one sets for oneself.

angeikimUID：4857

gterry:
in the very beginning of the first paragrahph, you should provide a general statement(thatz your understanding of the topic of this writing topic) rather  than giving comments.

and this topic is aimed at making you talk about the relationship between external rewards coming from society and internal satisfaction of man, which one is more important and is the basic aspect to decide that one is successful.
in your second paragraph, you talk about other people's feeling of convinience of the bridge making one feel like success, you can also put forward the influence of critics. we assume that even this bridge provides us much convience but many people criticize its feature too much, then will the engineer who designs it feels self-satisfied? even though he or she obtains his/her goal successfully.

you also have to correct some sentence structures, like in the first paragraph:

最初由 gteryy 发表
[B]Before giving any comment to this issue, it is necessary for us to make the definition clear that what is exactly success. . [/B]

you should say 'what exactly success is' right? :)

you provide good examples in this essay that i could tell your profound knowledge and understanding :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS ! :)

gteryyUID：114434

我最近缺乏睡眠，又感冒了，吃了很多瓜子也闻不到香味。还长了口腔溃疡。圣诞节哪也没去，都在家里补作业了。想听恐怖广播，听到开头的音乐就害怕关了。真郁闷啊。。。

谢谢斑竹的表扬，指正俺就暂且忽略了。吼吼 （就满足一下我的虚荣心吧）

大家早上好，俺睡去了。希望梦见红衣老头儿，送个帅哥给我，哈哈

beckyyeeUID：8330

我也觉得写得不错呢呵呵~~ 圣诞节我给出的第一个表扬哦~！

急转弯（：p）：第一个观点的论证应该再有力一点，比如举一两个具体一点的例子。第二个观点不错，但感觉第三点虽是一个转折，也可以算是在拓展思路吧，没有怎么说清楚。

my position: True success can neither be gauged by the goals one sets for oneself nor can it be completely gauged by society's external rewards.
第一个观点同gteryy的第二点。然后我大体赞同可以用society's external rewards来衡量的说法，although some successes are temporarily neglected by the society, in many cases society's external rewards can measure true success to some extent.

beckyyeeUID：8330

gteryy 你要注意身体哦~~最近开始降温了，千万不要再感冒了！

angeikimUID：4857

最初由 zyh6230 发表
[B]自己都觉得没条理，很乱，东一句西一句的。快帮帮我吧！我还来得及吗？[/B]

。

没有你说的那么糟糕了。in your passage you state the feeling of some successful people, this is a very good proof and this is also from a pretty  new angle.

you can improve your writing ability through practice everyday and also, you could paste your practice compisition here people here will also tell you their opion toward your writing. :)

beckyyeeUID：8330

最初由 zyh6230 发表
[B]可我真的没的写呀？怎么办？ [/B]

我觉得你写的很好呀！坚持下去一定没问题的说！