issue13 【mettle作文小组】第六次作业 by imagic80

imagic80UID: 2342633

13 "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."
1、语言是文化的体现，语言消失后文化必然随之消失。
2、文化灭绝后，国家会失去向心力，必然不能长久稳定。
3、防止语言的灭绝是国家不容推卸的责任。
In the cartoon movie, called < The Lost World>, all the spectators may be attracted by the hero’s courage, humor and erudition. It is the ability of understanding the lesser-known languages that make him open the mystery lost world. This story will be overshadowed if the hero know little about the old languages. Lessor-known laguages are indispensable not only in the movie but also in the realistic world. So I wholeheartly agree that the government of countries in which these languages are spoken have the responsibility to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
First of all, the indigenous languages of any geographical region is cultural heritages of the region’s natives. Why the hero in the movie can find the lost world not others? Although many people who have the same emotion with the hero to reveal the mystery veil of the old world, only the hero arrived at the magic land. Equiped with the lesser-known languages of the lost world, he can get much more information from many old bookes written in this special languages. Because a culture defines itself in various ways – by its unique traditions, rituals, mores, attitudes and beliefs, but especially languages. Languages play an important part in maintaining the cultural identity.
In addition, if the language becomes extinct the result is the native culture constructed on the languages is perishing. Why the world is lost? Why powerful country is missing? Maybe the first step along the dead path is the extinction of its languages and culture. That is why many colonies people refused to speak other languages instead of their own languages. They were clearly aware that if their languages were assimilated, what was conquered is not only their bodies and land, but also their soul. Once the soul of people of a certain coutry was subdued, then the whole nation would disappeared soon.
In the final analysis, at the end of the cartoon movie, the old country become prosperous again with the help of the hero who brought back the old language to their people. If the government whose people are speaking a lesser-known languages do nothing to stop the phenomenon that fewer and fewer people speak them, their culture identity will lost sooner or later. To some extent, the country is not really the country it used to be, but a totally strange new one in which people are very aloof to each other for having no common sense of a distinct cultrual group. How can we believe this new country can last long with its people lacking a sense of pride, dignity, and self-worth when it meets with a hard time, such as economic panics, serious disasters, cruel battles. In order to avoid the death of a culture and a nation, the government of a certain country must take some measures to prevent their indigenous languages from vanishing for its people and also for itself.
In conclusion, preserving indigenous languages is, admittedly, a worthy goal; maintaining its own distinct languages affords a people a sense of pride, dignity and self-worth. Meanwhile, in order to eliminate the language barrier which serve primarily to impede cross-cultural communication, the governments also should encourage its people to study forein languages.

expire7UID: 2160574

seat taken

expire7UID: 2160574

issue13 【mettle作文小组】第六次作业 by imagic80
13 "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."
1、语言是文化的体现，语言消失后文化必然随之消失。
2、文化灭绝后，国家会失去向心力，必然不能长久稳定。
3、防止语言的灭绝是国家不容推卸的责任。

In the cartoon movie, called < The Lost World>, all the spectators may be attracted by the hero’s courage, humor and erudition. It is the ability of understanding the lesser-known languages that make him open the mystery lost world. This story will be overshadowed if the hero know(knows) little about the old languages. Lessor-known laguages（languages） are indispensable not only in the movie but also in the realistic world. （感觉这个例子和你这个总结无必然联系。虽然有新意的开头，不过感觉一个例子就能全部这样支持你么？）So I wholeheartly agree that the government of countries in which these languages are spoken have the responsibility to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

First of all, the indigenous languages of any geographical region is（are） cultural heritages of the region’s natives. Why the hero in the movie can find the lost world not others? Although many people who have the same emotion with the hero to reveal the mystery veil of the old world, only the hero arrived at the magic land. Equiped(Equipped) with the lesser-known languages of the lost world, he can get much more information from many old bookes(books) written in this special languages. Because a culture defines itself in various ways – by its unique traditions, rituals, mores, attitudes and beliefs, but especially languages. Languages play an important part in maintaining the cultural identity.（觉得前面的例子后最后的结论关系不强。比较弱的支持观点。）

In addition, if the language becomes extinct the result is the native culture constructed on the languages is perishing（似乎有语法错误噢）. Why the world is lost? Why powerful country is missing? Maybe the first step along the dead path is the extinction of its languages and culture. That is why many colonies people refused to speak other languages instead of their own languages. They were clearly aware that if their languages were assimilated, what was conquered is not only their bodies and land, but also their soul. Once the soul of people of a certain coutry(country) was subdued, then the whole nation would disappeared soon.（so how important the languages is.最后再点一下你的段内中心点。）

In the final analysis, at the end of the cartoon movie, the old country become prosperous again with the help of the hero who brought back the old language to their people. If the government whose people are speaking a lesser-known languages do nothing to stop the phenomenon that fewer and fewer people speak them, their culture identity will lost sooner or later. To some extent, the country is not really the country it used to be, but a totally strange new one in which people are very aloof to each other for having no common sense of a distinct cultural(cultrual) group. How can we believe this new country can last long with its people lacking a sense of pride, dignity, and self-worth when it meets with a hard time, such as economic panics, serious disasters, cruel battles(？问号). In order to avoid the death of a culture and a nation, the government of a certain country must take some measures to prevent their indigenous languages from vanishing for its people and also for itself.（这一段的论证还比较好。前面两段感觉不好。论点，论据的互相支持不够。）

In conclusion, preserving indigenous languages is, admittedly, a worthy goal; maintaining its own(owned) distinct languages affords a people a sense of pride, dignity and self-worth. Meanwhile, in order to eliminate the language barrier which serve(serves) primarily to impede cross-cultural communication, the governments also should encourage its people to study forein(foreign) languages.（感觉结尾和文章内容并没有很明显的照应存在。）

单词和语法错误之多，下次发上来一定要检查。
文中大胆的尝试了用一个电影来论证你所有的细节，是一个不错的尝试。不过个人不推荐这样做，毕竟可以这样用的例子在对于200多个I题目来说可能不多。还是要首先掌握基本的写作方式。当然如果考试碰见，这样尝试未尝不可。
不过，感觉这个电影用来论证你的每个段落十分单薄，而且你在写作和引用电影细节时候，也做得不够好，至少没有充分展现你引用的例子来帮助你的观点。这方面感觉比较失败。
在议论文写作的基本技巧上面，还需要多练习。
算是一个不错的尝试，加油。

OB叔UID: 188695

13 "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."
1、语言是文化的体现，语言消失后文化必然随之消失。
2、文化灭绝后，国家会失去向心力，必然不能长久稳定。
3、防止语言的灭绝是国家不容推卸的责任。

In the cartoon movie, called < The Lost World>, all the spectators may be attracted by the hero’s courage, humor and erudition. It is the ability of understanding the lesser-known languages that make him open the mystery lost world. This story will be overshadowed if the hero know little about the old languages. Lessor-known laguages 【languages】are indispensable not only in the movie but also in the realistic 【改为real】world. So I wholeheartly【拼写错误吧，其实用totally就可以了】 agree that the government of countries in which these languages are spoken have the responsibility to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.开头用一个故事引出所要叙述的问题，这种写法不错

First of all, the indigenous languages of any geographical region is cultural heritages of the region’s natives. Why the hero in the movie can find the lost world not others? Although many people who have the same emotion with the hero to reveal the mystery veil of the old world, only the hero arrived at the magic land. Equiped with the lesser-known languages of the lost world, he can get much more information from many old bookes written in this special languages. Because a culture defines itself in various ways – by its unique traditions, rituals, mores, attitudes and beliefs, but especially languages. Languages play an important part in maintaining the cultural identity.叙述的比较清晰

In addition, if the language becomes extinct the result is the native culture constructed on the languages is perishing. Why the world is lost? Why powerful country is missing? Maybe the first step along the dead path is the extinction of its languages and culture. 【老在提那个电影不是很好吧，如果这个电影考官没看过而你没有论述清晰的话，也是不占优势的，还是再举一些其他的例子吧】That is why many colonies people refused to speak other languages instead of their own languages. They were clearly aware that if their languages were assimilated, what was conquered is not only their bodies and land, but also their soul. Once the soul of people of a certain coutry was subdued, then the whole nation would disappeared soon.

In the final analysis, at the end of the cartoon movie,【还再这个电影就显的你的例子贫乏了】 the old country become prosperous again with the help of the hero who brought back the old language to their people. If the government whose people are speaking a lesser-known languages do nothing to stop the phenomenon that fewer and fewer people speak them, their culture identity will lost sooner or later. To some extent, the country is not really the country it used to be, but a totally strange new one in which people are very aloof to each other for having no common sense of a distinct cultrual group. How can we believe this new country can last long with its people lacking a sense of pride, dignity, and self-worth when it meets with a hard time, such as economic panics, serious disasters, cruel battles. In order to avoid the death of a culture and a nation, the government of a certain country must take some measures to prevent their indigenous languages from vanishing for its people and also for itself.


In conclusion, preserving indigenous languages is, admittedly, a worthy goal; maintaining its own distinct languages affords a people a sense of pride, dignity and self-worth. Meanwhile, in order to eliminate the language barrier which serve primarily to impede cross-cultural communication, the governments also should encourage its people to study forein languages.

总的来说，语言流利，逻辑清楚，要给你提的问题是：你在论证的时候最好用不同的例子来分析，这样显得你的论述很强劲，说服力就更强了，单一的用一个例子来说明问题显的很单薄

imagic80UID: 2342633

辛苦了！