Argument53 【METTLE小组】by happyhappypig

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

Time: 33min
Words: 643

In the above argument, the arguer proposed that increased levels of melatonin before birth could cause shyness in children which will continue into their later life. However, the author fails to substantiate the causal relationship between mother melatonin level and the infants shyness, nor does he provide evidence to suggests its continue effectiveness.

First of all, whether the sign of mild distress shown in the study is an indication of infants’ shyness is open to doubt. The mere fact that 25 infants show sign of mild distress is insufficient to give any prediction upon their characteristic. No supplementary information is provided regarding to how old these infants are, how many infants are studies in total or any control was done to eliminate influencing variables such as hungry or fear of strangers. It is highly possible that these infants were disturbed from sleep when given unusual odor or unknown voice, in which case the mild distress actually reflects their unhappy. Or perhaps, with the presence of so many strangers, the infants didn't feel comfortable by separated from their mothers, which might happen to every baby. Either of the above scenarios, if true, would cause great suspicion about the validity of the study. Without specific evaluation from the above aspects or related babies' conditions in the study, hardly can we make any prediction about whether these infants felt distressed or not.

Secondly, the argument rests on a gratuitous presumption that the melatonin produced by mothers would exert brain function related impact on their children, which is unwarranted. On one hand, the varied level or factors influence the production of melatonin in mothers are not disclosed. If the daylight is the only factors, mothers who give birth to children in winter are supposed to have even higher levels of melatonin, which is not discussed here. At the same time, myriads of factors such as foods mother eat during pregnancy, their physical healthiness and their motion variation cannot be neglected when considering the level of mother melatonin. On the other hand, although melatonin is known to affect certain brain functions, whether it would have an impact on the brain of the mothers or of the infants are not investigated. If the melatonin produced by mother cannot pass to the infants, the personal characters of the children then would have no relation with its level. Even if assuming it could pass to the infants, there is no guarantee that it would cause babies to shown sign of distress. Thus, without thorough analysis of these possibilities, the conclusion that melatonin would cause signs of distress in the infants is too hasty.

Moreover, even if we concede that melatonin do make the babies feel distressed, whether its effect would continue into the children's later life needs further discussion. Actually, the time trend of 13 years in the follow up study to check their shyness in teenage period indicate little about the influence if melatonin in their later life. The arguer fails to rule out other determining factors, which might influence the teenagers’ behavior. For example, whether their character are influenced by their parents, whether they change schools very often which is hard for them to make new friends, whether instructors in schools condemn them too much so that they would rather hide their true feelings and so forth, all of which might be the real causes of these teenager's shyness. These signs of shyness may happen to any teenagers and show no relationship with the involvement of melatonin. Without any further evaluation upon these infants’ behavior or actual involvement of melatonin, we cannot accept the arguer's assertion.

Taken together, the above argument is not well reasoned as it stands. Unless given the rational analysis of the infants’ behavior, the logic evaluation of teenagers' shyness in schools or the involvement of melatonin in all those processes, the arguer's proposal cannot be adopted.

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

Argument53 【METTLE小组】by happyhappypig
Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
Time: 33min
Words: 643
In the above argument, the arguer proposed that increased levels of melatonin before birth could cause shyness in children which will continue into their later life. However, the author fails to substantiate the causal relationship between mother melatonin level and the infants shyness, nor does he provide evidence to suggests its说明下指代 continue effectiveness.
开头好

First of all, whether the sign of mild distress shown in the study is an indication of infants’ shyness is open to doubt. The mere fact that 25 infants show sign of mild distress is insufficient to give any prediction upon their characteristic. No supplementary information is provided regarding to how old these infants are, how many infants are studies in total or any control was done to eliminate influencing variables such as hungry or fear of strangers换一个例子吧，个人感觉这也是害羞的表现. 前面的句有点问题，年龄数量也无法消除诸如饥饿害怕等因素的干扰，与下文的例子不太符合 It is highly possible that these infants were disturbed from sleep when given unusual odor or unknown voice, in which case the mild distress actually reflects their unhappyunhappiness. Or perhaps, with the presence of so many strangers, the infants didn't feel comfortable by separated from their mothers, which might happen to every baby. Either of the above scenarios, if true, would cause great suspicion about the validity of the study. Without specific evaluation from the above aspects or related babies' conditions in the study, hardly can we make any prediction about whether these infants felt distressed or not你的目的应该是区别紧张和害羞，而不是说明婴儿是否紧张，结尾句有一点问题.

Secondly, the argument rests on a gratuitous presumption that the melatonin produced by mothers would exert brain function改brain-function避免产生歧义 related impact on their children, which is unwarranted. On one hand, the varied level or factors influence 改 influencing the production of melatonin in mothers are not disclosed. If the daylight is the only factors, mothers who give birth to children in winter are supposed to have even higher levels of melatonin, which is not discussed here. At the same time, myriads of factors such as foods mother eat during pregnancy, their physical healthiness and their motion形容词形式 variation cannot be neglected when considering the level of mother melatonin. On the other hand, although melatonin is known to affect certain brain functions, whether it would have an impact on the brain of the mothers or of the infants are not investigated. If the melatonin produced by mother cannot pass to the infants, the personal characters of the children then would have no relation with its level. Even if assuming it could pass to the infants, there is no guarantee that it would cause babies to shown sign of distress. Thus, without thorough analysis of these possibilities, the conclusion that melatonin would cause signs of distress in the infants is too hasty.
我不确定理解得对不对，可是论述第一分论点谈了其他因素对母亲激素水平的影响，这一点并没有直接攻击到激素对孩子大脑有影响这个假设，加一个过渡句，比如无法证明母亲的激素维持在高水平，也就证明不了是激素的增加导致……，这样可能好些，思路很不错，要借鉴

Moreover, even if we concede that melatonin do make the babies feel distressed, whether its effect would continue into the children's later life needs further discussion. Actually, the time trend of 13 years in the follow up study to check their shyness in teenage period indicate little about the influence if 改ofmelatonin in their later life. The arguer fails to rule out other determining factors, which might influence the teenagers’ behavior. For example, whether their character are influenced by their parents, whether they change schools very often which is hard for them to make new friends, whether instructors in schools condemn them too much so that they would rather hide their true feelings and so forth, all of which might be the real causes of these teenager's shyness. These signs of shyness may happen to any teenagers and show no relationship with the involvement of melatonin. Without any further evaluation upon these infants’ behavior or actual involvement of melatonin, we cannot accept the arguer's assertion. 这段不错

Taken together, the above argument is not well reasoned as it stands. Unless given giving the rational analysis of the infants’ behavior, the logic evaluation of teenagers' shyness in schools or the involvement of melatonin in all those processes, the arguer's proposal 换词，文章中作者没有给出建议cannot be adopted.

觉得LZ文章讨论得比我自己写的要深，思路更加开阔，结构安排也很紧凑，要说的不多

icestarUID: 2209935

难道不是我和LZ互改么,这次?