Argument65 [0710G梦开始的地方小组]第四次作业

丽泽亭主人UID: 2307334

65The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


In this article, the writer concludes that the company should discontinue stocking many of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. However, close scrutiny of the evidence provided reveals that it does not logically support the conclusion.

First of all, the best-sell of cheeses from Wisconsin does not indicate that all domestic cheeses will attract customers. Only sales of one kind domestic cheese cannot present the whole sales of the cheeses. It is entirely likely that they have difficulty selling the other kinds of domestic cheeses in these stores. As to the good sales of cheeses from Wisconsin, maybe they are just on sale recently or the stores simply locate at the district of Wisconsin, where people have preference to the certain cheeses. In addition, given that the chain stocks a variety of both cheeses, possibility still exists that imported cheese are also welcomed by customers, though the pursuit of certain one brand dose not show advantage, the sales of imported cheeses as a whole are more than that of domestic ones. Therefore, it appears wise to continue stocking imported cheese as well as domestic cheeses.

Moreover, although the number of people who prefer domestic cheeses increases it does necessarily indicate that those who like this kind of cheeses are the majority. It is possible that preference of imported cheeses is still at the top of the list. In addition, whether the result of the survey of the World magazine has an influence on the particular
market is doubtful. It is possible that because preference varies from district to district, the sales cannot be simply predicted according to a general survey especially under the condition that no details are offered about the subscribers, the method used by the investigators, for instances did they chose to use questionnaire and what was the number of it and so on. If so, sales of imported cheese should not be overlooked by the decision-maker.

Last but not least, there is no indication that limiting inventory is necessarily connected to the boost of profits. The best way to improve profits does not only depend on the decrease of the cost, it also strongly relative to the correct recognition that what the customers really need. If measures are only taken on the aspect of decrease the inventory, profits maybe cannot be guaranteed. What is more, the writer does not offer evidence that imported cheeses will not improve profits. Perhaps they are just what customers like most and can create new sale miracles. Therefore, it seems reasonable for the stores to take imported cheeses into consideration as their important article instead of stopping stocking them.

In sum, this argument contains several logical flaws as discussed above. To substantiate it, the arguer needs to provide further evidence that imported cheeses are not well sold. To better evaluate the argument, I should know the relation between limiting inventory and profits.

[ 本帖最后由 丽泽亭主人 于 2007-7-11 21:49 编辑 ]

messiah229UID: 2209538

In this article, the writer concludes that the company should discontinue stocking many of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. (我觉得这里应该陈述一下作者给出的论据)However, close scrutiny of the evidence provided reveals that it does not logically support the conclusion.

First of all, the best-sell of cheeses from Wisconsin does not indicate that all domestic cheeses will attract customers. Only sales of one kind domestic cheese cannot present the whole sales of the cheeses. It is entirely likely (possible较好) that they have difficulty selling the other kinds of domestic cheeses in these stores. As to the good sales of cheeses from Wisconsin, maybe they are just on sale recently or the stores simply locate at the district of Wisconsin, where people have preference to the certain cheeses. In addition, given that the chain stocks a variety of both cheeses, possibility still exists that imported cheese are also welcomed by customers, though the pursuit of certain one brand dose not show advantage, the sales of imported cheeses as a whole are more than that of domestic ones. (这个驳论我有点不能理解,文中已经给出了"前五名销售都是国内奶酪",如果还说"进口奶酪有可能比国内奶酪卖得好",有点狡辩之嫌)Therefore, it appears wise to continue stocking imported cheese as well as domestic cheeses.

Moreover, although the number of people who prefer domestic cheeses increases it does (not) necessarily indicate that those who like this kind of cheeses are the majority. It is possible that preference of imported cheeses is still at the top of the list. In addition, whether the result of the survey of the World magazine has an influence on the particular
market is doubtful. It is possible that because preference varies from district to district, the sales cannot be simply predicted according to a general survey especially under the condition that no details are offered about the subscribers, (such as)the method used by the investigators, for instances(改为including) did(改为wether) they chose to use questionnaire and what was the number of it and so on. If so, sales of imported cheese should not be overlooked by the decision-maker.

Last but not (the)least, there is no indication that limiting inventory is necessarily connected to the boost of profits. The best way to improve profits does not only depend on the decrease of the cost, it also strongly relative to the correct recognition that what the customers really need(这句有点突兀,最好展开列举一下什么是消费者真正需要的). If measures are only taken on the aspect of decrease the inventory, profits maybe cannot be guaranteed. What is more, the writer does not offer evidence that imported cheeses will not improve profits. Perhaps they are just what customers like most and can create new sale miracles(太泛泛了,最好也能展开列举一下进口奶酪可能的优势,否则没有说服力). Therefore, it seems reasonable for the stores to take imported cheeses into consideration as their important article instead of stopping stocking them.

In sum, this argument(给我改作文的同学说argument是我们写的,给出的短文不应该叫argument..不知道是不是) contains several logical flaws as discussed above. To substantiate it, the arguer needs to provide further evidence to show that imported cheeses are not well sold. To better evaluate the argument, I should know the relation between limiting inventory and profits.

总结:LZ的argument条理清晰,句子长短适当,也很正确,功底很深呀:)请问是限时完成的么?
不足:感觉有些驳论的阐述仅仅是点到为止,没有继续展开深入下去,前面两点都还讲得蛮详细的,后面的就有点虎头蛇尾了:P
  哈哈LZ终于出山了,果然是一位强人!以后就是我改你的作文啦,希望大家共同进步~ 给个我argument的连接,LZ如果有时间的话也请赐教:)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=702632&extra=page%3D1

丽泽亭主人UID: 2307334

首先非常感谢messiah!关于第四段的例子展开说的非常好,这也是我最近很关注的问题,希望能有突破.
第二段的驳论我解释一下哈,人们买进口奶酪的种类(牌子)可能很多,但是没有一个单独的品牌的销量超过文中所提到的五种国产奶酪.然而,进口奶酪做为一个整体的销量仍然可观.
By the way, I am sure that it should be "last but not least".:loveliness: