Issue11【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第1次作业

frecklewang1984UID: 2355474

Issue11：All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.

the suggestion that developing a global university for students to solve the most stubborn difficulties in the world is pleasing, after all there are so intractable problems we have to need confront and tackle together. these undesirable things is so persistent and rigid that even if exerting the highest scientific technology in the most promising industry period we cannot root out them off our beautiful, comfortable living environment. and thus to establish a global university  for saplings in the world to receive targeted education and cultivation to prepare for facing and solving the persistent social difficulties probably is a wise solution out of infinite irreconcilable factors.

however, can developing a global university lead to be harmony when solving the world's most persistent social problems ? after all, what is the most persistent social problems is a difficult thing to be defined. Maybe every nations have different definitions due to their individual development in political, industry, culture , and even living environment. developed countries such as north America may be more inclined to pointing at increasing environmental pollutions related closely with human's life safety including food pollution (mainly resulting from transgenic technology), air pollution(such as exhausts from various vehicles,),hazardous waste difficult to degrade, noise pollution, soil pollution and more, while developing nations such as many Asian countries focus more on industry and education development because of realizing the disparity with developed areas, and quite a few undeveloped countries are struggling for being devoid of starvation, death from cold and all kinds of disease. would we be hard-hearted to qualify most persistent problems in undeveloped areas in environmental pollutions during they are suffering from starvation and let students from developed nations imagine the feelings of living in the war disregarding diverse chemical, physical(e g particular matter),or biological agents in the polluted air brought about from their higher scientific technology. that is nothing rather than waste.

therefore, it would be perfect if all nations had a common resolution to solve the most persistent social problems with the spirit of tolerance, coordination and harmony. if it can be true, there are no wars, no racial discrimations, no enlarging gap between the rich and the poor in our pleasant world,and thus develop a global university will be necessary to solve the swelling problems.

developing a global university based on objective coordination and true harmony in all nations can be conducive to valuable research achievements, such as global warmth and melting iceberg resulting in our soaking in saliferous water, destructive influerence on large areas of tropospheric ozone, and rooted cultural conflict owing to long-term cultural habits and mores, and avoid useless even harmful consequences(e g, the research of the clones) in all kinds of fields required the whole world to confront. of course, developing a global university must be attention to a large number of things, containing enrolling procedure, curriculums, the moral disciplines with the definite intention of solving the world's most persistent problems.

in sum, if every nation can keep expansive tolerance, objective coordination and true harmony  in mind ,it is essential that all nations support the development of a global university to  solve the most persistent problems in the world. human beings should be rational to transcend  the limitations between different nations and races to complete our vivid world.

提纲
Issue 116 Topic："With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society-including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences-will benefit greatly from international influences."

1，全球经济网络和通讯网络的增长，的确使得教育，科技，政治极大受益。在全世界范围中的网络电视，远程教学，政治交流，高深领域的互通有无
2，但是，这同时也带来了不好的影响，环境污染，贫富差距，文化冲突
3，另外，艺术方面似乎受益不大，鉴于艺术本身的特点

Issue 81 Topic: "Patriotic reverence for the history of a nation often does more to impede than to encourage progress."
1，过度的爱国主义的确会阻碍民族的发展，狭隘主义，以自我为中心，不向他人学习
2，但适当的爱国主义是非常有必要的而且是应该的，促进本民族文化的传承和发展，合作，学习，进步
3，因此，适度就行

frecklewang1984UID: 2355474

The speaker asserts that every nation should help support to develop a global university designed to engage students to solve the world's most persistent social problems. While there may be some problems in building such a university, I agree with the speaker that such a university should be built with efforts of all nations to solve some persistent social problems.

To begin with, there are a great many global problems that require all nations to solve together. For example, the greenhouse effect that is caused by the increasing (expelling-没见过用这个表示的，可不可以替换成discharge) of carbon dioxide from industries and automobiles in all countries is a typical global problem. It cannot be solved by any single nation and all nations have to make effort(s) together.  Also, global trade, extinction of species, explosion of population and so forth （是不是具体一点会好些呢）are problems require(ing) every nation to solve jointly. As a result, it is necessary to develop a global university to engage students from all around the world to communicate and study together to seek out ways to solve those global problems.（很好，这一段的开头和结尾围绕自己的论据的合理性。）

Furthermore, in a global university teachers and students with diverse cultures and academic backgrounds can communicate with each other to get (a) better solution to the social problems. Because students and teachers in this university can see other countries’ experiences of success or failure to solve certain problems, they can develop better solutions based on these experiences.（这个因果句变换一下会不会好些呢）
Moreover, the ways they find to solve global problems will be considerable(considerably) feasible because they come from different nations and their solution(s) must take account of the situations of all nations. Such (a) global university has an advantage to solve the world's most persist problems.（可以适当使用例子来支持）

Admittedly, there may be some problems in building such a global university because every nation has its own interest and its distinct policies. For example（可以换个表示方法）, the developed countries may wish this university to solve the global economic problems first while the African nations hope that the food and health problems in Africa can be solved first（可以换个表示方法）. Moreover, certain research may be supported by some governments while prohibited by governments in other countries.（具体的例子可能会更形象） So, governments in all nations must negotiate to attain a(an) agreement on these problems and other problems about how to change these decisions and so forth.（很好，这一段的开头和结尾围绕自己的论据的合理性）

In sum, because there are a host of problems that cannot be solved by any single nation and students as well as teachers from different nations (get together can) help solve the global problems effectively, such a global university indeed requires to be developed with the support of all nations. And governments in diverse nations have to make efforts together to deal with the problems in building such a university.（整篇文章的中心很明确，一直围绕自己的论点展开论证，但是有点不足的事例子不够具体，另外重复的词句是不是进行同义变换会好点呢？）

ldongxpUID: 2311083

the suggestion that developing a global university for students to solve the most stubborn difficulties in the world is pleasing, after all there are so intractable problems we have to need confront and tackle together. these undesirable things is so persistent and rigid that even if exerting the highest scientific technology in the most promising industry period we cannot root out them off our beautiful, comfortable living environment. and thus to establish a global university  for saplings in the world to receive targeted education and cultivation to prepare for facing and solving the persistent social difficulties probably is a wise solution out of infinite irreconcilable factors.[我认为开头不用太长的。。。]

however, can developing a global university lead to be harmony[harmonious?] when solving the world's most persistent social problems ? after all, what is the most persistent social problems is a difficult thing to be defined. Maybe every nations have[has] different definitions due to their individual development in political, industry, culture , and even living environment. developed countries such as north America may be more inclined to point[ing] at increasing environmental pollutions related closely with human's life safety including food pollution (mainly resulting from transgenic technology), air pollution(such as exhausts from various vehicles,),hazardous waste difficult to degrade, noise pollution, soil pollution and more, while developing nations such as many Asian countries focus more on industry and education development because of realizing the disparity with developed areas, and quite a few undeveloped countries are struggling for being devoid of starvation, death from cold and all kinds of disease. would we be hard-hearted[GRE aw不必如此动情，呵呵] to qualify most persistent problems in undeveloped areas in environmental pollutions during they are suffering from starvation and let students from developed nations imagine the feelings of living in the war disregarding diverse chemical, physical(e g particular matter),or biological agents in the polluted air brought about from their higher scientific technology. that is nothing rather than waste.[来句小结更好]

therefore, it would be perfect if all nations had a common resolution to solve the most persistent social problems with the spirit of tolerance, coordination and harmony. if it can be true, there are[would be] no wars, no racial discrimations, no enlarging gap between the rich and the poor in our pleasant world, and thus develop a global university will be necessary to solve the swelling problems.
[我认为这一个点不必花如此多篇幅来讲，可以精简些，毕竟不是题目的关键点]

developing a global university based on objective coordination and true harmony in all nations can be conducive to valuable research achievements, such as global warmth and melting iceberg resulting in our soaking in saliferous water, destructive influence on large areas of tropospheric ozone, and rooted cultural conflict owing to long-term cultural habits and mores, and avoid useless even harmful consequences(e g, the research of the clones) in all kinds of fields required the whole world to confront. [写如何有效比写效果更好噢]of course, [以下可以另起一段] developing a global university must be attention to a large number of things, containing enrolling procedure, curriculums, the moral disciplines with the definite intention of solving the world's most persistent problems.

in sum, if every nation can keep expansive tolerance, objective coordination and true harmony  in mind ,it is essential that all nations support the development of a global university to  solve the most persistent problems in the world. human beings should be rational to transcend  the limitations between different nations and races to complete our vivid world.

注意一下GRE aw的写作根其他协作的不同之处，具体可以参看精华区的帖子
我认为GRE aw主要考察逻辑和文章结构，你举例、排比较多，但是说理有些不足

ps：
你改我的很仔细，谢谢哈~
下次请把你的批注上个色，另外贴到我的作文帖子下边就更好了^_^

wu_jie07UID: 2146237

freck 你第2楼写的是什么呀