Issue208 【天道酬勤作文互改小组】第十六次作业

alarenmingUID: 2329302

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 501(修改过）          TIME: 00:43:58          DATE: 2007-7-18 14:26:00

I totally agree with the statement that the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. And it is true sometimes the appearance and behavior of people can reflect certain kind of society's ideas and values. In the meanwhile, we ought to not expect by this way which tell us all of the society.

In the first place, people's dress, behavior expresses their own interests. The way of dress, behavior is an outside expression of internal world. Different people dress different. Some girls like to wear garment which are tight and beautiful with lese, which shows that they regard beauty as the first; and some other girls like to wear some clothes which are not tight and very comfortable, they consider free and unbending as the most important thing; In current world, more and more youth tint their hair, listen rock music, worship mental products, they what to through this way publicize their unique characteristics. Indeed, people sometimes make friends based on other’s appearance and behavior.

In the second place, not only different behavior reflects the different individuals' attitudes, but also do reveal some different societies' ideas and values. Every society has formed its own value systems and ideals during a long history. People belong to a society and no one can exist alone without a relationship with society, so everyone is marked by his/her own society. Consider, for example, chatting with people in America and China. American girls talk about sex in public without flush whereas Chinese girls rarely chat about sex with friends in private, not to mention in public. Such circumstances can partly suggest that the American society is a more opener, talking freedom than Chinese society.

In the third place, what we must recognize is that this is not a very reliable and accurate method to observe a society’s ideal and value. What it shows to us is just a part of the society but no all. In addition, this part which is observed by us probably does not represent the main culture and value. So we can not conclude a society is a society filled by rude and rebellion only because some people do not behavior themselves. On the other hand, we should not ignore the several possibilities under the appearance and behavior. The appearance perhaps is a mask. Consider, for example, the Ant-Japanese war. Japan just considered that China is vast ground and rich in resources plus the fact that Chinese people are honesty, based on which, they thought this was an easy war, and it was the side cognition which ignored the Chinese people’s brave heart and resisting sprit, they failed the war.

In sum, a society's ideas and values are complex and variety, even if we can know certain values and ideas of a society by observing people's action,  dress and so on, it do not mean by this way people can know the whole society. If we want to know more, we should contribute energy to research the truth.

PilotBearUID: 2269456

I totally agree with the statement that the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. And it is true sometimes the appearance and behavior of people can reflect certain kind of society's ideas and values. In the meanwhile, we ought to not expect by this way which tell us all of the society.(开始写totally agree with, 后面又转折了，个人觉得既然后面要转折，那前面就别说的那么绝对)

In the first place, people's dress, behavior expresses their own interests. The way of dress, behavior is an outside expression of internal world. Different people dress different. Some girls like to wear garment which are tight and beautiful with lese, which shows that they regard beauty as the first; and some other girls like to wear some clothes which are not tight and very comfortable, they consider free and unbending as the most important thing（这几句写的很精彩啊）; In current world, more and more youth tint their hair, listen rock music, worship mental products, they what（want） to through this way publicize their unique characteristics. Indeed, people sometimes make friends based on other’s appearance and behavior.

In the second place, not only different behavior reflects the different individuals' attitudes, but also do reveal some different societies' ideas and values. Every society has formed its own value systems and ideals during a long history. People belong to a society and no one can exist alone without a relationship with society, so everyone is marked by his/her own society. Consider, for example, chatting with people in America and China. American girls talk about sex in public without flush whereas Chinese girls rarely chat about sex with friends in private（写错了吧）, not to mention in public.（我觉得这个例子不太好） Such circumstances can partly suggest that the American society is a more opener, talking freedom than Chinese society.

In the third place, what we must recognize is that this is not a very reliable and accurate method to observe a society’s ideal and value. What it shows to us is just a part of the society but no all. In addition, this part which（主语从句能用which么？记不清了） is observed by us probably does not represent the main culture and value. So we can not conclude a society is a society filled by rude and rebellion only because some people do not behavior themselves（真有这个表达？）. On the other hand, we should not ignore the several possibilities under the appearance and behavior. The appearance perhaps is a mask. Consider, for example, the Ant（anti）-Japanese war（不如写二战更清楚）. Japan just considered that China is vast ground and rich in resources plus the fact that Chinese people are honesty, based on which, they thought this was an easy war, and it was the side cognition which ignored the Chinese people’s brave heart and resisting sprit, they failed the war.（这个例子支持你的topic，有点牵强）

In sum, a society's ideas and values are complex and variety, even if we can know certain values and ideas of a society by observing people's action,  dress and so on, it do not mean by this way people can know the whole society. If we want to know more, we should contribute energy to research the truth.（结尾比较平淡，可以写的更好些）

文章层次非常清晰，文字也不错

如果后面的例子和前面的例子一样精彩就更好了，如果还想提高，就要再加强一下论证了（个人觉得）。

alarenmingUID: 2329302

多谢pilotbear啦~~~我也好久没改过文章了~~~~当然也好久没被人家拍过了，今天一见，非常感激~~~我也一直觉得我的例子好像不大对头，恩，只是懒得承认，呵呵，还是被你老人家给点破了，汗~~~恩，我再多琢磨琢磨，晚上帮你改改文章，呵呵