ISSUE4【0710天道酬勤互改小组】第十四次作业

PilotBearUID: 2269456

修改过但还是写的不好。

TOPIC: ISSUE4 - "No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
WORDS: 496         TIME: 00:41:21          DATE: 2007-7-19 1:00:40

I partly agree with the speaker that the knowledge and experience of outside of a field can push the field developing more rapidly. However, without the outsiders' knowledge and experience, a field of study will also develop.
                  
First of all, I believe the outside field of knowledge and experience could bring new ideas to one field which is can help the field advance significantly. For example, the first computer was built by the math scientists, and then the physical scientists bring new ideas to the build of computer. The computer was becoming more and more small. And now the special computer scientists pursue the goal that the computer is on everyone's desk. Because one generation after one generation's scientists brought new ideas to the computer， push the development of information era. If only some math scientists research on the area of computer, the computer science and technology will not becoming so important to the human now. I cited this example just wants to show the outsider knowledge and experience could make one field develop more rapidly.

However, it is hard to say generally that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study. There are a lot of factors could influence the development of one field such as the money, the application and the scientists. Take the World War II for example. Since the war need more technology used in the weapon, the science and technologies developed rapidly during the war. Every country in the war spent a lot of money on the fields which could contribute to the weapons. And the scientists were becoming significant to a country. So the application would bring more money to the area which can also push the field advance rapidly.

What is more, there are a lot of fields which do not relevant to the other fields and also seems do not have any applications. They are still on the developing. The interests of people will always push the fields advance until the field being noticed by the other people. There are a lot of fields which was not noticed by the other people. In the ancient times, only a few people research on the field of physics, but their works provided the fundamental knowledge to the offspring. One field of study can advance significantly based on the research of the formers. The ancient research would be not correct, but they are also significant to the others. Nobody researched on the area of physics in the ancient China. So the ancient China was becoming more and more puny. On the contrary, European was becoming more and more powerful. The research of science and technology is one of the factors make the difference.

In sum, the outsider would bring more knowledge to one field which would serve to stimulate the advance of the field, there are many other factors would also serve to stimulate the development of the field.

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

TOPIC: ISSUE4 - "No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
WORDS: 496         TIME: 00:41:21          DATE: 2007-7-19 1:00:40
I partly agree with the speaker that the knowledge and experience of outside of a field can push the field developing more rapidly. However, without the outsiders' knowledge and experience, a field of study will also develop.观点完整提出来了，就是语言上，再丰富些，加些从句或限定词会更好些，如push …… development 改成 further the advance of or promote the evolution on ，纯属个人愚见
                  
First of all, I believe the outside field of knowledge and experience could bring new ideas to one field which is can help the field advance significantly. For example, the first computer was built by the math scientists, and then the physical scientists bring new ideas to the build of computer. The computer was becoming more and more small. And now the special computer scientists pursue the goal that the computer is on everyone's desk. 我想这个例子里最好从计算机大小和功能两方面入手，最终的目的是每人都拥有电脑并能充分利用来完成多项工作Because one generation after one generation's scientists brought new ideas to the computer， push the development of information era. If only some math scientists research on the area of computer, the computer science and technology will not becoming so important 改convenience?to the human now. I cited this example just wants to show the outsider knowledge and experience could make one field develop more rapidly.
动词单复数形式和时态还需注意

However, it is hard to say generally that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study. There are a lot of factors could influence the development of one field such as the moneyfinancial support, the application and the scientistsavailable. Take the World War II for example. Since the war need more technology used in the weapon, the science and technologies developed rapidly during the war. Every country in the war spent a lot of money on the fields which could contribute to the weapons. And the scientists were becoming significant to a country. So the application would bring more money to the area which can also push the field advance rapidly. 钱，人，运用三者倒是都说进去了，但是之间的关系略显混乱，且结尾句不够概括，应该是把三方面都说进去，或者总的说一句学科进步有其内在原因

What is more, there are a lot of fields which do not relevant to the other fields and also seems do not have any applications. They are still on the developing. The interests of people will always push the fields advance until the field being noticed by the other people. There are a lot of fields which was not noticed by the other people. 这句多余In the ancient times, only a few people research on the field of physics, but their works provided the fundamental knowledge to the offspring. One field of study can advance significantly based on the research of the formers. The ancient research would be not correct, but they are also significant to the others. Nobody researched on the area of physics in the ancient China. So the ancient China was becoming more and more puny.错误假设，不是因为物理不发达才落后的，换一个后果 On the contrary, European was becoming more and more powerful. The research of science and technology is one of the factors make the difference.
这段总的来说不知道证明了什么问题，我们可以讨论下，仿佛物理的发展又回到了上段所说的应用导向作用

In sum, the outsider would bring more knowledge to one field which would serve to stimulate the advance of the field, there are many other factors would also serve to stimulate the development of the field.
结尾还行
我觉得LZ在完成作文后除了修改错别字还应该对文章的结构进行调整和润色，仔细读读自己的文章，就不难发现其中存在的逻辑漏洞，多改也能提高写作能力，加油哦