Issue147 大家拍吧

小馨UID: 2220777

147. "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
传统和现代化是水火不容的。人们必须二者选一。
中文提纲：1.表明态度不同意
          2.现代化文明多是由传统的方式进化发展而来的
          3.许多现代文明都是传统与现代的结合物
          4.有一些坏的传统我们应该抛弃
          5.最后再次表明态度

The topic asserts that people must choose one of the tradition and modernization, because they are incompatible. I disagree with this assertion. During the development of the technology and civilization, it is obviously to see that tradition and modernizaton are compatible.

In the first place, tradition refers to the beliefs, values ,customs, the way of life, crafts and so on, which are handed down from generation to generation in a society. The new technology of today is origined from the old craft. The beliefs and values that one belives in now may be Socrates or Confucius informed us in their living era. The traditional festival such as the christmas in western country and spring festival in china we all enjoy year afer year. The customs that eating cake on one’s birhtday we still abide today.

In the second place, modernization are compatible with tradition refers to many facets such as music,art and building. I will set two examples to illustrate my point. Firstly, the music is the good example which is the producetion of the combination with tradition and modernization. Today the pop music may be R&B, rock&roll, which is more popular throught the country. But the classical music still have a lot of fans who think enjoyment can brought from the classical music. The current musical system are composed of these two differen kind of music. Secondly, art is anthor good example. The famous artist such as Picasso and Van Gogh have a great effect on the artist now. Today our artists intake the elites from them and their artworks all the same. A artist may observe carefully an artwork which is created previously before they begin to creat, subsequently the inspiration is inspired then creat a great value artwort. Therefore in our modern society, a lot of things are combination of the tradition and modernization.

At last but not least, several tradition is admited which is harmful for modern civilizations. The discriminating against gender and racism is the typical one. In a lot of contries, women have no chance to get education during their teenager as men, and then women have no opportunity to get job as men, even they get one job, the salary is not as same as men who do the same job. The discriminating of racism is also same. Superstition is another bad tradition. Several people when they get into trouble they will not think how to solve it throgh their wisdom and effort. They go to the fortune-teller and ask their advices to solve their problem. As the matter of fact it is entirly absurd. Hence these bad traditions we should abondon them.

In sum, I disagree with the assertion of topic. In our modern society tradition and modernization are compatible, and a lot of things are the combination of the tradition and modernization. The correct way related to tradition and modernization is to transform or reform tradition to suit our modern civilization rather than to uproot tradition.

panningerUID: 2277700

BY  panninger
The topic asserts that people must choose one of the tradition and modernization, because they are incompatible. I disagree with this assertion. During the development of the technology and civilization, it is obviously to see that tradition and modernization are compatible.

In the first place, tradition refers to the beliefs, values ,customs, the way of life, crafts and so on, which are handed down from generation to generation in a society. The new technology of today is originated from the old craft ; the beliefs and values that one believes in now may be what Socrates or Confucius informed us in their living era; the traditional festival such as the Christmas in western country and spring festival in china we all enjoy year after year; customs eating cake on one’s birthday we still abide by today. （将你以前的句话改成了分号，表达四个方面的内容，有并列的感觉。最后希望有一句总结性的话语表达你的意思）

In the second place, modernization are compatible with tradition refers to （可以换种写法，不要老用一个词语have something do to with ）many facets such as music, art and building. I will set two examples to illustrate my point. Firstly, the music is the good example which is the production of the combination with tradition and modernization. Today the pop music may be R&B, rock&roll, which is more popular through the country. But the classical music still has a lot of fans who think enjoyment can brought from the classical music. The current musical system is composed of these two different kinds of music. Secondly, art is another good example. The previous, famous artists such as Picasso and Van Gogh have a great effect on the artist now. Today our artists intake(这是个名词，可换成absorb or draw on) the elites(这个词语一般是人，指精英。可换成kernel) from them and their artworks all the same. An artist may observe carefully an artwork which is created previously before they begin to create,  subsequently the inspiration is inspired then create a great value artwork. Therefore in our modern society, a lot of things are combination of the tradition and modernization. 这段的论证不错，但是可还可以自己修改一下增加条理

At last but not least, tradition is admitted to be harmful for modern civilizations in some respects. The discriminating against gender and racism is the typical one. In a lot of countries, women have no chance to get education during their teenager as men, and then women have no opportunity to get job as men, even they get one job, the salary of women is not assame as that of men who do the same job. The discriminating of racism is also the same. Superstition is another bad tradition. Several people when they get into trouble they will not think how to solve it through their wisdom and efforts, on the contrary theyrecourse to the fortune-teller to receive advice to solve their problem. As the matter of fact such an action is so entirely absurd that it can not help people deal with problems, but lead them to be worse. Hence, basing on the above reasons we should abandon these bad traditions.

In sum, I disagree with the assertion of topic. In our modern society tradition and modernization are compatible, and a lot of things are the combination （可换成a marriage）of tradition and modernization. The correct way related to tradition and modernization is to transform or reform tradition to suit our modern civilization rather than to uproot tradition.(最后一句话请自己修改一下，意思表达不是很明确)

首先，注意拼写的问题，很多地方拼写错误，写完后自己在word里面修改一下，再发贴。
再次，注意句子之间的衔接和过渡，多用连接词和修饰词。

小馨UID: 2220777

thank you !请留下你的作文连接,方便我去修改,虽然我水平有限,但是还是很希望和大家共同进步的