issue147 【mettle小组假期作业二】 by imagic80

imagic80UID: 2342633

144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
Word: 546                time:10:00-10:48
Critic, defines as a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc, ofen is neglect by the majority of people who live under the illusion that it is the artist who gives society something of lasting value rather than the critic. If fact, artists are the creative chief group while the critic propel them to create more valuable works.
There is no denying the fact most of the famous and valuable works of art are given by artists not critics. In any field of art—novels, films, music, paintings, no artists can create valuable works without making efforts, overcoming sorts of difficulties, committing to his work, and so on.  Behind all most every work of art, conceal a story about a artist who struggles for creating and woring on his job. If fact, the majority of artists regard their works as their children. Because the process of creating a work just like giving a birth to a baby which involves in human beings’ joys and sorrows. So does the process of creating a work of art. In this sense, the function of artists can not be replaced by critics.
However, critics also play a much larger part in the process of promote execellent works and eliminate bad ones. Critics, who are not laymen of art, often equiped with specialized knowledge and a acute perspective to art. After all, artists sometimes only live in their own spiritual world and neglect many factors outside his world. As an old saying goes, one is inclination to lost in his own matters while the beholders can evaluate objectively. The main task of critics—so it seems to me—is to find execellent works of art and recommend them to the public. Meanwhile, they also eliminate many works which are regard as artistic garbage, which will produce unfavorable impacts on the spiritual outlook of the public. So, the function of critics is just like a filter which keep the essential materials stay and let the garbage pass by.
Admitting the improtance of critics should not go to the other extreme. That is to ciriticize the works of artists deliberately without taking their true value into consideration. The behavior of criticizing is to repell some artists for their own selfish or some mean thought. And they just act as the name of a critic, but not responsibly carry out the duty of a true critic. Besides these deliberate libel， critics also can make mistakes on some occasion. Because many artists’s ideas and works are beyond the perspective of the comtempory world-- namely, critics are not able to know the true value of their works. So, these valuable works are concealed as garbage in the eyes of critics. Therefore, completely trust the works choosed by critics is equal to no valuabe works of arts. People should learn to become a critic for themselves.
Taken together, artists and critics are both important in the artic world. And the artists should be regard as mothers of works of art while the critics severer strict fathers for this arts. [time up] artists give birth to these works—the children, and fathers cultivate them and bring them up to be a true men and useful men for the society.

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

Critic, defines as a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc, ofenoften is neglect by the majority of people who live under the illusion that it is the artist who gives society something of lasting value rather than the critic. If fact, artists are the creative chief group while the critic propel them to create more valuable works.

There is no denying the fact that就行了吧，不用the fact吧？most of the famous and valuable works of art are given by artists not critics. In any field of art—novels, films, music, paintings, no artists can create valuable works without making efforts, overcoming sorts of difficulties, committing to his work, and so on.  Behind all most almost every work of art, conceal a story about a an artist who struggles for creating and woringworrying on his job. 明白你的意思，但是感觉这句好像语法有问题If fact, the majority of artists regard their works as their children. Because the process of creating a work just like giving a birth to a baby which involves in human beings’ joys and sorrows. So does the process of creating a work of art. In this sense, the function of artists can not be replaced by critics.

However, critics also play a much larger partalso vs larger好像有点矛盾 in the process of promote promoting execellent works and eliminate bad ones. Critics, who are not laymen of art, often equiped with specialized knowledge and a acute perspective to art. After all, artists sometimes only live in their own spiritual world and neglect many factors outside his world. As an old saying goes, one is inclination to lost in his own matters while the beholders can evaluate objectively. 这话用在这似乎不是太合适哦，就好像再说artitst不知道自己在干吗，实际上是critics帮助他们创作似的，但是好象你想要表达的又不是这个意思。The main task of critics—so it seems to me—is to find execellent works of art and recommend them to the public. Meanwhile, they also eliminate many works which are regard as artistic garbage, which will produce unfavorable impacts on the spiritual outlook of the public. 我觉得critics发面的作用说了倒感觉你的观点不明确了，个人觉得这段可以不写这些，或者来个让步，不要用meanwhile 之类的So, the function of critics is just like a filter which keep the essential materials stay and let the garbage pass by.

Admitting the improtance of critics should not go to the other extreme. That is to ciriticize the works of artists deliberately without taking their true value into consideration. The behavior of criticizing is to repell some artists for their own selfish or some mean thought. And they just act as the name of a critic, but not responsibly carry out the duty of a true critic. Besides these deliberate libel， critics also can make mistakes on some occasion. Because many artists’s ideas and works are beyond the perspective of the comtempory world-- namely, critics are not able to know the true value of their works. So, these valuable works are concealed as garbage in the eyes of critics. Therefore, completely trust the works choosed by critics is equal to no valuabe works of arts. People should learn to become a critic for themselves.

Taken together, artists and critics are both important in the artic world. And the artists should be regard as mothers of works of art while the critics severer strict fathers for this arts. [time up] artists give birth to these works—the children, and fathers cultivate them and bring them up to be a true men and useful men for the society.

最后的比喻还不错，不过关于ciritcs是father地论述在body里面再多点就好了。
不知道我自己的文章是不是也和你一样，我读起来感觉不是很顺畅，
有的时候感觉有断句或者句子太长了，读着读着就lost了
基本上已经算计时成功了吧，呵呵，加油
上个星期开会没帮你改，今天选了一个没有人改的，我也写过的
多谢你给我的修改，加油加油

werecatUID: 2289296

Critic, defines as a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc, ofen [often]is neglect[is often neglected] by the majority of people who live under the illusion[太贬义了吧] that it is the artist who gives society something of lasting value rather than the critic. If [in]fact, artists are the creative chief group [main force of creation]while the critic propel them to create more valuable works.
There is no denying the fact [that]most of the famous and valuable works of art are given by artists not [rather than]critics. In any field of art—novels, films, music, paintings, no artists can create valuable works without making efforts, overcoming sorts of difficulties, committing to his work, and so on.  Behind all most every work of art, conceal a story [无主语，a story concealed]about a artist who struggles for creating and woring [working]on his job. If fact, the majority of artists regard their works as their children. Because[不放句首] the process of creating a work[无谓语，is] just like giving a birth to a baby which involves in human beings’ joys and sorrows. So does the process of creating a work of art. In this sense, the function of artists can not be replaced by critics.
However, critics also[去掉] play a much larger part in the process of promote[promoting] execellent [excellent]works and eliminate bad ones. Critics, who are not laymen of art, [be equipped with]often equiped [equipped]with specialized knowledge and a[an] acute perspective to art. After all, artists sometimes only live in their own spiritual world and neglect many factors outside his world. As an old saying goes, one is inclination to lost in his own matters while the beholders can evaluate objectively.[好] The main task of critics—so it seems to me—is to find execellent [excellent]works of art and recommend them to the public. Meanwhile, they also eliminate many works which are regard as artistic garbage, which will produce unfavorable impacts on the spiritual outlook of the public.[连用2个which不太好] So[不放句首], the function of critics is just like a filter which keep the essential materials stay and let the garbage pass by.
Admitting the improtance [importance]of critics should not go to the other extreme. That is to ciriticize [criticize]the works of artists deliberately without taking their true value into consideration. The behavior of criticizing is to repell [repel]some artists for their own selfish or some mean thought. And they just act as the name of a critic, but not responsibly carry out the duty of a true critic. Besides these deliberate libel， critics also can make mistakes on some occasion. Because many artists’s [artists’]ideas and works are beyond the perspective of the comtempory [contemporary]world-- namely, critics are not able to know the true value of their works. So, these valuable works are concealed as garbage in the eyes of critics. Therefore, completely trust the works choosed [chosen]by critics is equal to no valuabe [valuable]works of arts[completely trusting the works chosen by critics is equal to choosing no works at all]. People should learn to become a critic for[去掉] themselves.
Taken together, artists and critics are both important in the artic world. And the artists should be regard as mothers of works of art while the critics severer[serve as] strict fathers for this arts. [time up] artists give birth to these works—the children, and fathers cultivate them and bring them up to be a true men and useful men for the society.[好比喻]

[这篇拼写语法之类错了好几个啊，有些地方用词也可以斟酌
思路不错，关于二者的关系分析得也很好

ps:看了好多别人拍的,也拍了很多人,发现评价基本都是:思路不错,语言不行
想想也很无奈呀,大家的gre作文都是这样,短期还改进不了...]

[ 本帖最后由 werecat 于 2007-7-27 00:50 编辑 ]