issue48 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组第三次作业】SavileRow

SavileRowUID：2284947

题目：ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
字数：535          用时：00:50:23          日期：2007-8-1 16:34:00

提纲：
１承认历史人物在历史进程中所起的作用
２历史人物的产生是偶然性和必然性的结合
３不能否认群众的作用
第一次尝试开头没有表明观点的写法，不知道效果好不好。
虽然我在50分钟的时候推出了awp，但实际上加上我把全篇检查并修改句子的时间总共花了1小时，sigh，我写得这么仓促结果还是写不到1小时内。
第三点我应该着重写，无奈时间不够，而且实在是无话可说，书到用时方恨少啊

In the galaxy of history, we can easily see those stars shining--those famous figures since they are so dazzling that they outshine others. The study of history renders me thinking who on earth creates the history?

Firstly, we have to concede that the famous few plays a significant role in most events and trends in history. It is their shared characteristics such as extraordinary leadership, peerless insight, unparalleled provision and so forth, that empower them to play such an important role. Consider Abraham Lincoln's contribution in American Civil War .Or, consider Mahatma Gandhi's devotion in Indian Independence Movements. Without these great heroes, the events and trends in history would not have been possible. However, even admitted their immense influence, their influence can not be polarized. After all, the famous few are not the only powerful ones that are able to intrigue the historical upheaval. The truth is that their impact is much bigger compared to common people.

Secondly, the advent of famous few is the combination of chanciness and inevitability. In each period, there came their famous few, which is inevitable. For example, the appearance of Abraham Lincoln is inextricable in the period of Civil War because there had to be a hero that brings about the promise for the victory of the war. However, on the other hand, who would portray the pat of heroes at what time in which way and at which place? The answer to this puzzle, maybe, would never be revealed until that particular famous few themselves responded. That is what I call chanciness. For instance, it is entirely possible the one who signed the Emancipation Proclamation was not Abraham Lincoln. He could be Abraham Mincoln or Abraham Nincoln ,or anyone else. As long as he was able to get thing right, he could be that "Abraham Lincoln". Although it is not a tossing dice game, indeed, the chanciness can not be denied. Anyone that satisfied the needs of the historic revolution might end up as a hero. In other words, those people whose identities have long been forgotten, under certain circumstances, would grab the chance to be a famous one.

Thirdly, We can not overlook the mighty power that common people in a whole own in the process of history. Because, they serve as well to make those events and trends possible. One example that aptly illustrate this point involves the ultimate victory against Nazi in World War Two. Suppose there were just those renowned generals on battlefields, with no soldiers in the battalion. Was is by any possibility that they gained the victory eventually all by themselves with no soldiers under their command? The answer is definitely, a NO. It was those common soldiers, whose names was unknown for us, that actually helped to defeat against Nazi, and help to polish the great names such as Gen. Eisenhower and Gen. Montgomery to make them shining. Without the unspoken support from common people, the famous few would not have obtained the fame to leave their names in history text books. Without the anonymous mass, the dramatic social changes would not have happened.

In the final analysis, I got the answer to the question I asked myself at the beginning of the essay--groups of people whose identities have been forgotten, are, the real creator of history, although the famous few do play a somewhat important role. In addition, the role of history, is to serve as a mirror for the contemporaries and future generation to gaze into for invaluable lessons and experience. And, when we do gaze into it, what we will see are thousands of thousands common people instead of only famous few. We, as the creator of history, maybe shall feel more responsible to make this world a better place, from today on.

doris_gxcUID：2370933

<font color="#800080">提纲：<br />
１承认历史人物在历史进程中所起的作用<font color="red">（负）<br />
</font>２历史人物的产生是偶然性和必然性的结合<font color="red">（主正，我理解的这应该是提出了个人无用）</font><br />
３不能否认群众的作用</font><font color="red">（正）</font><br />
<font color="red">整体看来是从对原命题（个人无用）的否定到肯定的过程</font><br />
<font color="#ff0000"></font> <br />
<font color="#800080"><font color="red">（我觉得这种开头对于应试并不好，应该一开始就表明观点的。）</font><br />
</font>In the galaxy of history, we can easily see those stars shining--those famous figures since they are so dazzling that they outshine others. The study of history renders me thinking who on earth creates the history?<br />
<br />
Firstly, we have to concede that the famous few plays a significant role in most events and trends in history. It is their shared characteristics such as extraordinary leadership, peerless insight, unparalleled provision and so forth, that empower them to play such an important role. <font color="blue">Consider Abraham Lincoln's contribution in American Civil War .Or, consider Mahatma Gandhi's devotion in Indian Independence Movements. Without these great heroes, the events and trends in history would not have been possible. However, even admitted their immense influence, their influence can not be</font><font color="red"> polarized（overestimated</font><font color="blue">）.(赞！写得好。)</font> After all, the famous few are not <font color="black">the only powerful ones that</font> are able to intrigue the historical upheaval.<font color="red"> (这里应该有个让步，然后落在前面那句上)</font><font color="red">The truth is that（although）</font> their impact is much bigger compared to common people.<br />
<br />
Secondly, the advent of famous few is the combination of chanciness and inevitability. In each period, there came their famous few, which is inevitable. For example, the appearance of Abraham Lincoln is inextricable in the period of Civil War because there had to be a hero that brings about the promise for the victory of the war<font color="red">.(只是一个劲地重复说必然，感觉不是太有说服力)</font> However, on the other hand, who would portray the pat of heroes at what time in which way and at which place? The answer to this puzzle, maybe, would never be revealed until that particular famous few themselves responded. That is what I call chanciness. For instance, it is entirely possible the one who signed the Emancipation Proclamation was not Abraham Lincoln. He could be Abraham Mincoln or Abraham Nincoln ,or anyone else. As long as he was able to get thing right, he could be that "Abraham Lincoln". Although it is not a tossing dice game, indeed, the chanciness can not be denied. Anyone that satisfied the needs of the historic revolution might end up as a hero. In other words, those people whose identities have long been forgotten, under certain circumstances, would grab the chance to be a famous one.<br />
<font color="red">（这一段说的是有一个hero是必然，而那个hero是谁是偶然，总觉得这一段与全片的论点关系不明朗）<br />
</font>Thirdly, We can not overlook the mighty power that common people in a whole own in the process of history. Because, they serve as well to make those events and trends possible. One example that aptly illustrate this point involves the ultimate victory against Nazi in World War Two. Suppose there were just those renowned generals on battlefields, with no soldiers in the battalion. Was is by any possibility that they gained the victory eventually all by themselves with no soldiers under their command? The answer is definitely, a NO. It was those common soldiers, whose names was unknown for us, that actually helped to defeat against Nazi, and help to polish the great names such as Gen. Eisenhower and Gen. Montgomery to make them shining. Without the unspoken support from common people, the famous few would not have obtained the fame to leave their names in history text books. Without the anonymous mass, the dramatic social changes would not have happened<font color="red">.（good!）<br />
</font><br />
In the final analysis, I got the answer to the question I asked myself at the beginning of the essay--groups of people whose identities have been forgotten, are, the real creator of history, although the famous few do play a somewhat important role. In addition, the role of history, is to serve as a mirror for the contemporaries and future generation to gaze into for invaluable lessons and experience. And, when we do gaze into it, what we will see are thousands of thousands common people instead of only famous few. We, as the creator of history, maybe shall feel more responsible to make this world a better place, from today on<font color="red">.（最后这句……）</font><br />
<br />
<font color="red">总之，这种创造性的写法是有一定风险的。</font><br />
<font color="red">还望楼主慎重考虑。</font>

[ 本帖最后由 doris_gxc 于 2007-8-3 11:35 编辑 ]

doris_gxcUID：2370933

对了，你可以看一下这个，关于Issue首段
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-693619-1-3.html