Argument65 ［勇往直前小组］作业 by269750640

269750640UID??2358012

65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of
cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of
both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five
best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses
from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World
magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its
subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory,
the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue
stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate
primarily on domestic cheeses."

很多年来我们的所有连锁店都储备了很多种类的国产奶酪和进口奶酪。然而去年，我们的最新店里五种销量最高的奶酪都是威斯康星出产的cheddar奶酪。而且，最近一次由Cheese
of the World杂志所举行的调查显示，其订阅者对于国产奶酪的倾向性越来越高。由于我们公司可以通过限制库存来减少开支，在我们所有连锁店增加盈利的最好方式就是停止贮备很多进口奶酪而主要集中于国产奶酪。
In this argument, the author concludes that the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing while clearly examine the author's reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing .The argument contains several facets that are questionable.
  First of all, the author advocate that domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses .There are two evidence to support the opinion. Firstly, Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Secondly, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. We can see very clearly, the author's evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion.
  In the first evidence, the author didn't show we enough evidence to support the conclusion. The author only take the situation about last year, what about the year before last? The author should consider the whole period about the last ten years, not only one year's situation, perhaps only last year domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses.

  In the second evidence, from the survey quoted in the argument, however, we find no sign of such procedure for randomly sampling, and have good reasons to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general subscribers as a whole. The author told us nothing about how large was the sample? And what procedure was used? So increasing preference for domestic cheeses are misleadingly vague. Although the survey are correctly, an increasing preference for are not represent domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses. Maybe the people who prefer imported cheese are still more than people who prefer domestic cheese.
   In addition, even if the arguer's assumption about domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses are reasonable, but it does not mean sell domestic cheeses make great profit than imported cheeses. Because domestic cheeses and imported cheese have different production  costs, transport costs  and taxation, so they are not the same profit when the demand is equal to the other.
Finally ,although the arguer's assumption about sell  domestic cheese are more profit than imported cheese are credibility .There are still have other methods to solve this problem.

  To sum up ,the conclusion lacks of credibility .Regardless of who the author is ,he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. It is unfair and unreasonable to just consider the last year's situation. And only take a survey about the World magazine's subscribers.To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

高加索UID??2246937

In this argument, the author concludes that the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing while clearly examine the author's reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing .The argument contains several facets that are questionable.
  First of all, the author advocate that domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses .There are two evidence to support the opinion. Firstly, Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Secondly, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. We can see very clearly, the author's evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion.
  In the first evidence, the author didn't show we enough evidence to support the conclusion. The author only take the situation about last year, what about the year before last? The author should consider the whole period about the last ten years, not only one year's situation, perhaps only last year domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses（不仅从时间上，从别的方面还应该尽量写得饱满一些，虽然可能有点罗嗦）.

  In the second evidence, from the survey quoted in the argument, however, we find no sign of such procedure for randomly sampling, and have good reasons to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general subscribers as a whole. The author told us nothing about how large was the sample? And what procedure was used? So increasing preference for domestic cheeses are misleadingly vague. Although the survey are correctly, an increasing preference for are not represent domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses. Maybe the people who prefer imported cheese are still more than people who prefer domestic cheese（最后这一点批得不错，之前的有点儿太模板了。。。不知道批卷人有没有似曾相识的感觉）.
   In addition, even if the arguer's assumption about domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses are reasonable, but it does not mean sell domestic cheeses make great profit than imported cheeses. Because domestic cheeses and imported cheese have different production  costs, transport costs  and taxation, so they are not the same profit when the demand is equal to the other.
Finally ,although the arguer's assumption about sell  domestic cheese are more profit than imported cheese are credibility .There are still have other methods to solve this problem（再举个例子最好）.

  To sum up ,the conclusion lacks of credibility .Regardless of who the author is ,he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. It is unfair and unreasonable to just consider the last year's situation. And only take a survey about the World magazine's subscribers.To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.


觉得批驳的力度还要再强一点，每个点都有一点浅尝辄止的感觉，但是批驳点批得很全~

是批得全好还是批得深好，这是一个问题。。。

joyceningUID??2314914

In this argument, the author concludes that the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing.(最好断成两句话说) while clearly examine the author's reasoning（after further examination读起来更顺）, we may find that it is unconvincing .The argument contains several facets that are questionable.  First of all, the author advocates（主谓一致） that domestic cheeses are more popular than imported cheeses .There are two evidence(好像不可数，不能加量词) to support the opinion. Firstly, Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Secondly, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. We can see very clearly, the author's evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion.（没必要单独一段出来把作者的证据说一遍，简单提一下 直接开始反驳）  In the first evidence, the author didn't show we（us） enough evidence to support the conclusion. The author only take the situation about last year, what about the year before last? （是新开张的店，去年市第一年。这样反驳不好）The author should consider the whole period about the last ten years, not only one year's situation, perhaps only last year domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses.  In the second evidence, from the survey quoted in the argument, however, we find no sign of such procedure for randomly sampling？？, and have good reasons to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general subscribers as a whole. The author told us nothing about how large was the sample? And what procedure was used（how it was conducted会不会更顺一点）? So increasing preference for domestic cheeses are misleadingly vague. Although the survey are correctly（这个是副词）, an increasing preference for are not represent domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses. Maybe the people who prefer imported cheese are still more than people who prefer domestic cheese.   In addition, even if the arguer's assumption about domestic cheeses are popular than imported cheeses are reasonable, but（去掉）it does not mean sell（这个词是动词）domestic cheeses make great profit than imported cheeses. Because domestic cheeses and imported cheese have different production  costs, transport costs  and taxation, so they are not the same profit when the demand is equal to the other.（这点驳得很奇怪）Finally ,although the arguer's assumption about sell  domestic cheese are more profit than imported cheese are credibility .There are still have other methods to solve this problem.  To sum up ,the conclusion lacks of credibility（语法错误） .Regardless of who the author is ,he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. It is unfair and unreasonable to just consider the last year's situation. And only take a survey about the World magazine's subscribers.To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.
很多语法错误要注意 有些词的词性搞清楚 否则就读不通了