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[i习作temp] 0710G——[戮力同心]小组大帖第八次 10号 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2007-8-6 22:58:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
1.在学术领域,丑闻更多地是带来负面影响。
2.在政治和体育界丑闻,丑闻的影响是两方面的。
3.人们主观并不希望丑闻发生,丑闻的有用的地方仅是它发生了以后的一种客观效果。
4.在娱乐界,一些明星们却希望通过丑闻来出名,这种丑闻毫无用处。



issue185 Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Can scandals be useful in any areas? The speaker claims so. But I do not agree with the speaker because I think although the scandals can be useful in some circumstances, we can not overlook the negative aspects of them. Whether the scandals are useful or not can not be judged easily, and the answer of this problem may be different in different areas.

Firstly, in academic areas the scandals often caused serious results. For example, scientific research is an accurate process, which does not requires any unveracity. The person who cheated in the science inquiry must be punished in order to give the trueth back to the science. Schon, a German physicist ,and most youngest researchers in Bell Labs, was deprived of his doctoral degree by his scientific misconduct. This scandal not only harm Schon himself, but also severely damage the fame and image of all the researchers in Germany.The scandals are a waste of resourses of the country ,and even the moral corruption.  The only benefit these scandals bring to us is that they can focus our attention on these scandals so that the public will take more actions to prevent them. But the negative part of these scandals ourstrips the positive part of them 远远地超过怎么说啊.

As for the politic and sports area, the circustances are more complex. Consider Clinton sex scandal. Although it greatly damage the image of Clinton and the America, this scandal call our attention to certain issues of federal law. It spark a debate about the powers and duties of legal prosecutors. In the long term , this scandal will benefit the Amercan's society. Besides,consider the doping scandals happened in the Athens Olympic Games,which involved 22 athletes. After this scandal,although every countries take effective measures to prevent them, people are still increasingly worryied about the great harm which doping brings to the athletes. In this two areas, I admit that the scandals are useful, but its negative impact to the society can be neglected.

So it is contradictory problem. Changing another way to think over this problem. Before the scandal occured, nobody is willing to see it happened, and from people's subjective view, they do not like the scandals. Why? Because scandal is always the fault or  mistake people make, and scandals itself is not a good thing. The useful results of scandals are achieved by the objective part of scandals themselves, not by the people willings. If there are not scandals, the useful part of scandals will not exsit. Therefore, people would not like to see more and more scandals happened.

Nevertheless, a sepcial example must be considered. It is the scandal in the entertainment. More and more stars often improve their prestiges by the scandals.They like more scandals about themselves happened. Even in some regions, more scandals means more famous. The news of  scandals about the popular stars in the entertainment are  commonly seen.  These scandals have little use to our society,and cause a serious waste of media resoures .

To sum up,the issue of scandals is a complex and introversial one . It is very likely that people will be never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on it.Nevertheless, scandals have some positive effect on solving some problems. But only based on it we can not draw the broad conclusion that scandals are useful in all areas. From my point in most cases scandals are harmful to our society.

[ 本帖最后由 jiangzuodong 于 2007-8-7 12:42 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-8-8 10:38:35 |只看该作者
Can scandals be useful in any areas? The speaker claims so. But I do not agree with the speaker because I think although the scandals can be useful in some circumstances, we can not overlook the negative aspects of them. Whether the scandals are useful or not can not be judged easily, and the answer of this problem may be different in different areas.
核心观点:丑闻的作用应该根据具体的领域来确定。
Firstly, in academic areas the scandals often caused serious results. For example, scientific research is an accurate process, which does not require any university(大学?). The person who cheated in the science inquiry must be punished in order to give the truth back to the science. Schon, a German physicist, and youngest researchers in Bell Labs, was deprived of his doctoral degree by his scientific misconduct. This scandal not only harms Schon himself, but also severely damages the fame and image of all the researchers in Germany. The scandals are a waste of recourses of the country, and even the moral corruption.  The only benefit these scandals bring to us is that they can focus our attention on these scandals so that the public will take more actions to prevent them. But the negative part of these scandals outstrips the positive part of them 远远地超过怎么说啊.
在学术领域,丑闻的负面影响原比正面影响大,
As for the politic and sports area, the circumstances are more complex. Consider Clinton sex scandal. Although it greatly damages the image of Clinton and the America, this scandal calls our attention to certain issues of federal law. It sparks a debate about the powers and duties of legal prosecutors. In the long term, this scandal will benefit the American society. Besides, consider the doping scandals happened in the Athens Olympic Games, which involved 22 athletes. After this scandal, although every country takes effective measures to prevent them, people are still increasingly worried about the great harm which brings to the athletes. In the two areas, I admit that the scandals are useful, but its negative impact to the society can be neglected.
在政治和体育界,情况变得复杂,但是感觉你没有写出复杂性,反倒最后让步说明这些丑闻游泳,而且负面影响可以忽略,尤其后面这句,感觉论证很不足。
So it is contradictory problem. Changing another way to think over this problem(谓语动词呢?). Before the scandal occurred, nobody is willing to see it happened, and from people's subjective view, they do not like the scandals. Why? Because scandal is always the fault or mistake people make, and scandals itself is not a good thing. The useful results of scandals are achieved by the objective part of scandals themselves, not by the people willing. If there are not scandals, the useful part of scandals will not exist. Therefore, people would not like to see more and more scandals happened.
这个论点写得我有点晕,可能我思维不够深入,如果有机会你可以和我讨论一下。
Nevertheless, a special example must be considered. It is the scandal in the entertainment. More and more stars often improve their prestige by the scandals. They like more scandals about themselves happened. Even in some regions, more scandals means more famous. The news of scandals about the popular stars in the entertainment is commonly seen.  These scandals have little use to our society, and cause a serious waste of media resources.

To sum up, the issue of scandals is a complex and introversial (这个词拼错了,但是不知道你要表示什么意思的词,没改) one. It is very likely that people will be never being able to arrive at the same conclusion on it. Nevertheless, scandals have some positive effect on solving some problems. But only based on it we can not draw the broad conclusion that scandals are useful in all areas. From my point in most cases scandals are harmful to our society.
我认为结尾最好不要出现文中没有的新观点:比如你的这个多数丑闻对社会有害。

整体感觉:第一还是请求你下次帖习作前一定用word编辑一下,起码把拼写错误和一些明显的语法错误挑一挑。大家都是这么做的。
你的这个文章思路还是可以的,丑闻对社会的作用要分情况讨论,然后分析各种不同领域的情况,所以我更干脆建议你把中间那个人们不愿意看丑闻那段干脆删掉,因为那段突然放在中间感觉让人很晕,不知道你想说什么,倒不如干脆的直接分三种情况讨论,这样结构清晰。
论证例子举的还是可以,不过最好建议你例子后面要有自己的论证,比如你第一段的学术丑闻负面影响远大于正面影响,最少稍加比较。

最后提示你注意一下发贴的标题格式,否则会被锁帖的哦。
Issue*** [戮力同心小组] ……    argument*** [戮力同心小组] ……
注意issue和argument与题号之间不要留空格,写完这个空一格再写后面的。

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板凳
发表于 2007-8-8 12:16:38 |只看该作者
谢谢楼主啊,首先对我文章的改正,再则对我的错误的提示。我写的确实不太好看, 因为我都是我自己苦想出来的。我在网吧打的东西,没word啊,不过可以看出来用写字板时, 自己会出现很多错误 。我在写第四段时可能陷入逻辑的旋涡中,本是想写的更加深入,可最后自己有点拔不出来了。还有这是我把以前的作文和现在的合拼成的文章,所以会出现一些错误,没想到楼主也都挑出来了。最后还是表示感谢

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RE: 0710G——[戮力同心]小组大帖第八次 10号 [修改]

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