issue185 [0710G披荆斩G小组]第5次作业 by liuyi612256

liuyi612256UID：2302910

Scandals, despite of the immorality and disgrace it invariably involves, attract public attentions on some serious issues, sparking profound reflection and rejudgement on  what we have for long taken for granted, often in a way even more effective than a passionate speech or a insightful reform plot could affect us. However, it is absurd to regard scandals as impetuses for the development of our society,  for scandals, inescapably, produce the disastrous effect on those innocent, and also distract us from the major concerns on our society.

Scandals are shocking to public in that they serves to reveal the truth, often unexpected and hideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance, thereby arousing reflective probing for the applicability of some old societal mechanisms , mechanisms that we have long assumed legitimate. A paradigmatic modern example is the scandal of Enron in its institutionalized and systematic accounting fraud. Exposed in 2001, the explosive sensation extremely aroused the public attentions: how, people may wonder, a company named by Fortune "the American's most innovative company” in six consecutive years, abruptly turned into the symbol of willful corporate fraud and corrupt?  Enron's collapse sparked a heated debate among public on the perspectives from which they judge a company, and scholars started to challenge the current criteria of business assessment. More importantly, Enron's collapse shed a light on the leak holes of American's existing audit system and necessitated a higher level of scrutiny given to accounting practice of large companies. While the scandals of Enron did produced the disastrous impact on groups of people, particularly on its employees and shareholders, in retrospection it serves to provide the impetus for audit system reform, and led to a series of innovative policies to foreclose certain types of corruption, thereby working a significant and lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.


However, undue public attentions to scandals can be a real disaster. I would be hard-pressed to think of any scandal in human history without embroiling innocent victims, whose reputations were unwarrantedly compromised, and public indignation at the so-called “wickedness” can worsen the situation. Consider the fatty Arbuckle scandal in 1920's America: Arbuckle, the famous comedian star in Hollywood at that time, was accused of raping and killing Virginia Rappe, a 24-year-old girl in a private party. Newspapers went wild about the story and unwarrantedly assumed Arbuckle was the murder, in catering to the public curiosity and thereby promoting the circulation. Public reaction toward Arbuckle was fierce and hard to subdue. As a result, even though acquitted with an apology from jury, Arbuckle, innocent as he was, had never rehabilitated his popularity. Arbuckle's mishap provoked reflection: although it was unfair to blame the public on being indignant toward immorality and evil, if, let's say if, the public had reserved some mania on these sort of scandals, they would have been less susceptible to biased report imposed by the mass media, and the afflict Arbuckle experienced would have been lessened. In fact, scandals go far beyond this. Mark Twain vividly depicted in his "Running for Governor” how a righteous political man was defamed by fabricated scandals and had to quit the election with frustration. Though this is matter of degree, in reality political scandals have been used by immoral politicians to every advantage to defeat their opponents. Consequently, to the extent that public goes to madness at the mere mention of scandals, we will be largely distracted from holding objective judgments and major concern about public leaders, thus inevitably deviated from the major issues in our society.

Apart from the way we look at scandals, our society just cannot afford to have too many scandals. A society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesome society. It is true that scandals benefit us in that they focus our attention on serious issues we might otherwise overlook, and that they behoove us to reconsider and change some of our old beliefs or policies. However, it is dangerous and ludicrous to assume that our society can base its very progress on debunking scandals.

[ 本帖最后由 liuyi612256 于 2007-8-8 12:20 编辑 ]

Cathy+WongUID：2369049

issue185 [0710G披荆斩G小组]第5次作业 by liuyi612256

Scandals, despite of the immorality and disgrace it invariably involves, attract public attentions on some serious issues, sparking profound reflection and rejudgement on  what we have for long taken for granted, often in a way even （有点罗嗦）more effective than a passionate speech or a insightful reform plot （没有这么说的吧？有点chinglish了）could affect us. However(用still如何？), it is absurd to regard scandals as impetuses for the development of our society,  for scandals, inescapably,(after all ) produce the disastrous effect on those innocent, and also distract us from the major concerns on our society.

Scandals are shocking to public in that they serves to reveal the truth, often unexpected and hideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance, thereby arousing reflective probing for the applicability of some old societal mechanisms (questions the legitimacy of some beureaucracies) , mechanisms that we have long assumed legitimate. (改到这里才看到你也是这样想的，呵呵，心有灵犀，上句话白改了)      A paradigmatic modern example is the scandal of Enron in its institutionalized and systematic accounting fraud. Exposed in 2001, the explosive sensation extremely aroused the public attentions: how, people may wonder, a company named by Fortune "the American's most innovative company” in six consecutive years, abruptly turned into the symbol of willful corporate fraud and corrupt?  Enron's collapse sparked a heated debate among public on the perspectives from which they judge a company, and scholars started to challenge the current criteria of business assessment. More importantly, Enron's collapse shed a light on the leak holes of American's existing audit system and necessitated a higher level of scrutiny given（giving） to accounting practice of large companies. While the scandals of Enron did produced the disastrous impact on groups of people, particularly on its employees and shareholders, in retrospect it serves to provide the impetus for audit system reform, and led to a series of innovative policies (modification in policies) to foreclose certain types of corruption, thereby working a significant and lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.


However, undue public attentions to scandals can be a real disaster. I would be hard-pressed to think of any scandal in human history without embroiling innocent victims, whose reputations were unwarrantedly compromised(marred), and public indignation at the so-called “wickedness” can worsen the situation. Consider the fatty Arbuckle scandal in 1920's America: Arbuckle, the famous comedian star in Hollywood at that time, was accused of raping and killing Virginia Rappe, a 24-year-old girl in a private party. Newspapers went wild about the story and unwarrantedly assumed Arbuckle was the murder, in catering to the public curiosity and thereby promoting the circulation. Public reaction toward Arbuckle was fierce and hard to subdue. As a result, even though acquitted with an apology from jury, Arbuckle, innocent as he was, had never rehabilitated his popularity. Arbuckle's mishap provoked reflection: although it was unfair to blame the public on being indignant toward immorality and evil, if, let's say if, the public had reserved some mania on these sort of scandals, they would have been less susceptible to biased report imposed by the mass media, and the afflict Arbuckle experienced would have been lessened. In fact, scandals go far beyond this. Mark Twain vividly depicted in his "Running for Governor” how a righteous political man was defamed by fabricated scandals and had to quit the election with frustration. Though this is matter of degree, in reality political scandals have been used by immoral politicians to every advantage to defeat their opponents. Consequently, to the extent that public goes to madness at the mere mention of scandals, we will be largely distracted from holding objective judgments and major concern about public leaders, thus inevitably deviated from the major issues in our society.

Apart from the way we look at scandals, our society just cannot afford to have too many scandals. A society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesome society. It is true that scandals benefit us in that they focus our attention on serious issues we might otherwise overlook, and that they behoove us to reconsider and change some of our old beliefs or policies. However, it is dangerous and ludicrous to assume that our society can base its very progress on debunking scandals.
好文哈，最让人叹为观止的是不俗的例子，而且很恰当！
文字很有gre的风范，因为好多词文绉绉的，非红宝熟练者不能及也~
思维很连贯，很清晰，赞一下！
还是有点感觉：有些词像是为了用难词而用难词，不是很地道，一点小小的 flaw~

liuyi612256UID：2302910

谢谢你的点评！！你的语感真的很好。这篇文章我找了一个老美修改了一下，你提出异议的地方，很多也是她觉得别扭的地方，等下我会把修改的文章贴上来。

hunhun516UID：2277727

还是一贯的高难度风格哈. 呵呵.我也想了Enron的例子，不过你写的例子好详细阿，我的就两句话。差距哦。。。

liuyi612256UID：2302910

以下是一个美国native speaker的修改，能看出来她还是有相当的文字功底，最大程度上保留了原文的内容，使句子结构更加紧凑，修正了一些不地道的用词。

以下是她修改好以后的文章，原文见一楼：
Scandals, despite their inherent disgrace and immorality, attract public attention on serious issues.  The furor surrounding scandals can spark profound reflection and reconsideration of attitudes long taken for granted, often affecting us more powerfully than a passionate speech or insightful reform.  However, it is absurd to regard scandals as the impetus for the development of society.  Not only do scandals involve disastrous consequences for the innocent, but also distract the general population from major concerns of our society.

       The power behind a scandal is its shock value.  Scandals reveal hidden truths, unexpected and hideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance.  The truths, thrust into the public eye, provoking new discussions about the applicability of old societal mechanisms long held as legitimate.  A paradigmatic modern example is the Enron scandal.  Exposed in 2001, the institutionalized and systematic accounting fraud was an explosive sensation.  The public eye was focused.  Many people wondered how a company named “America’s most innovative company” by Fortune magazine for six consecutive years could suddenly become the symbol of willful corporate fraud and corruption.  The collapse of Enron sparked a heated public debate over guidelines with which to judge a company, and scholars began to challenge the criteria for business assessment.  More importantly, Enron’s collapse highlighted the loopholes of the American auditing system and necessitated a higher level of scrutiny of accounting practices of large companies.  While the scandal surrounding the fall of Enron did have a disastrous impact on many innocent people, including employees and shareholders; it was the impetus for audit reform.  The result of this reform was a series of innovative anti- corruption policies, thereby having a significant and lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.

       The Enron example is rare in the resulting overall benefit.  Usually, undue public attention to a scandal can have a very real negative impact on a person’s life.  I would be hard pressed to think of any scandal in human history without innocent victims, innocent people whose reputations were unnecessarily compromised.  Consider the scandal surrounding Fatty Arbuckle in 1920’s America.  Arbuckle was a famous comedian in Hollywood.  He was accused of raping and killing 24-year-old Virginia Rappe at a private party.  When the scandal broke, there was a media frenzy.  Newspapers went wild about the story, assuming Arbuckle’s guilt.  Public reaction to Arbuckle was fierce.  As a result, even with an acquittal and an apology from the jury, the innocent Arbuckle was unable to clear his name in the public opinion.
  
       It is unfair to blame the public on being indignant toward immorality and evil, but what if the mania could have been avoided.  It is possible the general public would have been less susceptible to biased reporting in the media.  It is possible that the devastating impact on Arbuckle’s career might have been lessened.  The extent to which the public goes to madness at the mere mention of a scandal is illustrated in Mark Twain’s “Running for Governor”.  The story is about how a righteous political man was defamed by fabricated scandals and was forced to quit his campaign for office.  In reality, immoral politicians use scandal to gain political advantage over their opponents.  Political scandals largely distract from meaningful discussion about major societal concerns.  

       Although scandals can focus attention on some issues previously overlooked, a society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesome one.  It is dangerous to assume that our society can base its progress on scandals.  


一下是我的批注


Scandals, despite their inherent disgrace and immorality, attract public attention on serious issues.  The furor surrounding scandals can spark profound reflection and reconsideration of attitudes long taken for granted, often affecting us more powerfully than a passionate speech or insightful reform.(重新组合了句子，把我之前那个又臭又长的的in a way精简成现在的这个样子）  However, it is absurd to regard scandals as the impetus for the development of society.  Not only do scandals involve disastrous consequences for the innocent, but also distract the general population from major concerns of our society.（一个倒装的not only...but also，句子显得更紧凑了）

       The power behind a scandal is its shock value（原文我用了一个 scandal is shock to public in that..她认为前后两句没有因果或解释的关系，把这两句拆开了）.  Scandals reveal hidden truths, unexpected and hideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance.  The truths, thrust into the public eye（到底是母语，小词用的很地道）, provoking new discussions about the applicability of old societal mechanisms long held as legitimate（终于发现一个规则：所以有的之前我的长句子，只要主从超过三个分句的，都被断开了。这样看上去舒服了很多。建议爱写长句的GTER们，并不是从句加从句凑成长句，就是好句子。好像是废话。。）.  .  A paradigmatic modern example is the Enron scandal.  Exposed in 2001, the institutionalized and systematic accounting fraud was an explosive sensation.  The public eye was focused.(精悍的小句子）  Many people wondered how a company named “America’s most innovative company” by Fortune (magazine) for six consecutive years could suddenly become the symbol of willful corporate fraud and corruption. （关于这个句子，我专门问过她，我说我经常见到把一个句子中间用插入语分开的比如“ nothing, they maintain, is more important than..."，以下是她的回答：To answer your question, those type of sentences are more informal.  That structure is best used in spoken language, or in journalism.） The collapse of Enron sparked a heated public debate over guidelines (perspective 换成了guideline)with which to judge a company, and scholars began to challenge the criteria for business assessment.  More importantly, Enron’s collapse highlighted the loopholes of the American auditing system and necessitated a higher level of scrutiny of accounting practices of large companies.  While the scandal surrounding the fall of Enron did have a disastrous impact on many innocent people, including employees and shareholders（原文种的especially似乎确实没有什么道理）; it was the impetus for audit reform.  The result of this reform was a series of innovative anti- corruption policies（用一个简单的anti就把还掉原文的从句forclose...), thereby having a significant and lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.（把working换成了having，这个属于个人习惯吧，这个句子可是我从范文上照搬下来的）


       The Enron example is rare in the resulting overall benefit.（承上启下的一句）  Usually, undue public attention to a scandal can have a very real negative impact on a person’s life.  I would be hard pressed to think of any scandal in human history without innocent victims, innocent people(这个同位语从句链接的很自然，我之前在第2段段首也用了(mechanism)不过读起来就很别扭了因为前面的句子太长了，） whose reputations were unnecessarily（替换了unwarantedly) compromised.  Consider the scandal surrounding Fatty Arbuckle in 1920’s America.  Arbuckle was a famous comedian in Hollywood.  He was accused of raping and killing 24-year-old Virginia Rappe at a private party（我之前是故弄玄虚的乱添分隔）.  When the scandal broke, there was a media frenzy（很好的小短语）.  Newspapers went wild about the story, assuming Arbuckle’s guilt.  Public reaction to Arbuckle was fierce.  As a result, even （although换成了even)with an acquittal and an apology from the jury, the innocent Arbuckle was unable to clear his name in the public opinion.  

      (很自然的分了另外一段，原文这里是和上面合为一段的） It is unfair to blame the public on being indignant toward immorality and evil, but what if the mania could have been avoided.  It is possible the general public would have been less susceptible to biased reporting in the media.  It is possible that the devastating impact on Arbuckle’s career might have been lessened. （此处对原文进行了比较大的调整） The extent to which the public goes to madness at the mere mention of a scandal is illustrated in Mark Twain’s “Running for Governor”（把extent 这个句子提到前面去了，原文在段末，体会一下，原文的那个to the extent的句子，实际逻辑是比较勉强的）.  The story is about how a righteous political man was defamed by fabricated scandals and was forced to quit his campaign for office（campain for office比原文的election更准确）. （去掉了前面的语言垃圾 this is a matter of degree) In reality, immoral politicians use scandal to gain political advantage over their opponents.  Political scandals largely distract from meaningful discussion about major societal concerns.  
       Although scandals can focus attention on some issues previously overlooked, a society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesome one. (把我中间的那个复述主旨的句子去掉了） It is dangerous to assume that our society can base its progress on scandals.  

[ 本帖最后由 liuyi612256 于 2007-8-10 12:05 编辑 ]

hunhun516UID：2277727

呵呵，确实短句子读起来舒服一些。号召大家都来看看啊~

liuyi612256UID：2302910

CathyWong  提出：

你的scandal文章的第四段，我觉得还有一点问题：一，写得内容不纯粹，是说“丑闻detract”公众的注意力了吗？那竞选州长那个例子就不是很搭调。二，前面提，“这些都可以避免的”，感觉没有fully develop,是不是右面加上：应该通过立法，监督的完善来避免丑闻。

这两点分析切中要害。
第一点：对于丑闻distract公众注意力这一观点，作者并没有进行论述，只是在开头强加上去的。
第二点：看法有些出入。 那个说可以避免是说的公众对于丑闻的狂热“mania"可以避免，但是原文中的论述并比较牵强，两个possible的论证并不能使人信服。

针对这两点进行了修改 ：
1 将公众注意力改为了"public officials"的注意力，并对次进行了简单的论证。
2 对于如何对待丑闻，给出了作者的看法。 以下是修改以后的文章。

       Scandals, despite their inherent disgrace and immorality, attract public attention on serious issues.  The furor surrounding scandals can spark profound reflection and reconsideration of attitudes long taken for granted, often affecting us more powerfully than a passionate speech or insightful reform.  However, it is absurd to regard scandals as the impetus for the development of society.  Not only do scandals involve disastrous consequences for the innocent, but also can distract our public officials from concentrating on major issues of our society.

       The power behind a scandal is its shock value.  Scandals reveal hidden truths, unexpected and hideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance.  The appalling truths thrust into the public eye, provoking new discussions about the applicability of old societal mechanisms long held as legitimate.  A paradigmatic modern example is the Enron scandal.  Exposed in 2001, the institutionalized and systematic accounting fraud was an explosive sensation.  The public eye was focused.  Many people wondered how a company named “America’s most innovative company” by Fortune magazine for six consecutive years could suddenly become the symbol of willful corporate fraud and corruption.  The collapse of Enron sparked a heated public debate over guidelines with which to judge a company, and scholars began to challenge the criteria for business assessment.  More importantly, Enron’s collapse highlighted the loopholes of the American auditing system and necessitated a higher level of scrutiny of accounting practices of large companies.  While the scandal surrounding the fall of Enron did have a disastrous impact on many innocent people, including employees and shareholders; it was the impetus for audit reform.  The result of this reform was a series of innovative anti- corruption policies, thereby having a significant and lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.

       The Enron example is rare in the resulting overall benefit.  Usually, undue public attention to a scandal can have a very real negative impact on a person’s life.  I would be hard pressed to think of any scandal in human history without innocent victims, innocent people whose reputations were unnecessarily compromised.  Consider the scandal surrounding Fatty Arbuckle in 1920’s America.  Arbuckle was a famous comedian in Hollywood.  He was accused of raping and killing 24-year-old Virginia Rappe at a private party.  When the scandal broke, there was a media storm.  Newspapers went wild about the story, assuming Arbuckle’s guilt.  Public reaction to Arbuckle was fierce.  As a result, even with an acquittal and an apology from the jury, the innocent Arbuckle was unable to clear his name in the public opinion.  He had never regained his popularity and that scandal almost ended his career.

         In a similar way, political scandals, often with ulterior purpose behind it, can extremely distract public officials from the main affairs of society. This is not hard to imagine: you won’t feel easy to lift your head and walk with confidence into a crowded room when you know that everyone is sniggering about your sex life.Gossip makes it difficult for public leaders to concentrate on more important national affairs. Over a year of clinton's sex scandals, our chielf executive had to make every effort to get away from such an embarasing predicament, ignoring more pressing national issues, such as Russian Subsidization, and Somali Affairs. Indeed,  grubbing about private lives of their opponents has long been used for immoral politicians to gain political advantage. If our society allows too much this sort of scandals, the philosophical underpinning of our democratic society will be at stake.

     Although unfair to be blamed for being indignant toward immorality and evil, the public must enhance the ability to discern the truth from rumor, with the knowledge that the latter can have severely hurt the guiltless. The public also should avoid being manic about privacy of famous ones, which distract them from meaningful discussion about major societal concerns. On the other hand, there has to be some media self-control. If journalists go to frenzy at the mere mention of scandal, the mishap of Arbuckle will be too likely to reoccur.

     In sum, although scandals can draw our attention on certian important societal issues more effectively than reformers or speechmakers can, in many cases the deleterious effects of scandals outweigh these benefits. A society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesome one.  It is dangerous to assume that our society can base its progress on scandals.  

[ 本帖最后由 liuyi612256 于 2007-8-12 10:38 编辑 ]

paopaotangUID：2228471

passing by...

issue185 [0710G披荆斩G小组]第5次作业  by liuyi612256

Scandals,despite of the immorality and disgrace it invariably involves, attractpublic attentions on some serious issues, sparking profound reflectionand rejudgement on  what we have for long taken for granted, often in away even more effective than a passionate speech or a insightful reformplot could affect us. However, it is absurd to regard scandals asimpetuses for the development of our society,  for scandals,inescapably, produce the disastrous effect on those innocent, and alsodistract us from the major concerns on our society.

Scandals are shockingto public in that they serves to reveal the truth, often unexpected andhideous, underneath the ostensibly splendid appearance, therebyarousing reflective probing for the applicability of some old societalmechanisms , mechanisms that we have long assumed legitimate. Aparadigmatic modern example is the scandal of Enron in itsinstitutionalized and systematic accounting fraud. Exposed in 2001, theexplosive sensation extremely aroused the public attentions: how,people may wonder, a company named by Fortune "the American's mostinnovative company” in six consecutive years, abruptly turned into thesymbol of willful corporate fraud and corrupt?  Enron's collapsesparked a heated debate among public on the perspectives from whichthey judge a company, and scholars started to challenge the currentcriteria of business assessment. More importantly, Enron's collapseshed a light on the leak holes of American's existing audit system andnecessitated a higher level of scrutiny given to accounting practice oflarge companies. While the scandals of Enron did produced thedisastrous impact on groups of people, particularly on its employeesand shareholders, in retrospection it serves to provide the impetus foraudit system reform, and led to a series of innovative policies toforeclose certain types of corruption, thereby working a significantand lasting benefit on the business community as a whole.


However, undue publicattentions to scandals can be a real disaster. I would be hard-pressedto think of any scandal in human history without embroiling innocentvictims, whose reputations were unwarrantedly compromised, and publicindignation at the so-called “wickedness” can worsen the situation.Consider the fatty Arbuckle scandal in 1920's America: Arbuckle, thefamous comedian star in Hollywood at that time, was accused of rapingand killing Virginia Rappe, a 24-year-old girl in a private party.Newspapers went wild about the story and unwarrantedly assumed Arbucklewas the murder, in catering to the public curiosity and therebypromoting the circulation. Public reaction toward Arbuckle was fierceand hard to subdue. As a result, even though acquitted with an apologyfrom jury, Arbuckle, innocent as he was, had never rehabilitated hispopularity. Arbuckle's mishap provoked reflection: although it wasunfair to blame the public on being indignant toward immorality andevil, if, let's say if, the public had reserved some mania on thesesort of scandals, they would have been less susceptible to biasedreport imposed by the mass media, and the afflict Arbuckle experiencedwould have been lessened. In fact, scandals go far beyond this. MarkTwain vividly depicted in his "Running for Governor” how a righteouspolitical man was defamed by fabricated scandals and had to quit theelection with frustration. Though this is matter of degree, in realitypolitical scandals have been used by immoral politicians to everyadvantage to defeat their opponents. Consequently, to the extent thatpublic goes to madness at the mere mention of scandals, we will belargely distracted from holding objective judgments and major concernabout public leaders, thus inevitably deviated from the major issues inour society.

Apart from the way welook at scandals, our society just cannot afford to have (can be deleted) too manyscandals. A society filled with scandals is by no means a wholesomesociety. It is true that scandals benefit us in that they focus ourattention on serious issues we might otherwise overlook, and that theybehoove us to reconsider and change some of our old beliefs orpolicies. However, it is dangerous and ludicrous to assume that oursociety can base its very progress on debunking scandals.

very nice paper!