快考了,发些文章请大家拍~~~

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

#30 – A New High School
·        INTRO:
since ancient times, people in China are aware of that choosing a right school for their children is very important for the children’s development. One of the ancient mother, Mrs. Meng, moved her family for 3 times to help her kids go to an ideal school. Today, in my community, a new highschool will be built and the parents nowadays don't have to make such tough decision that which school should they sent their children to. The answer is obvious: there’s no better choice than a new highschool in my community.
·        BODY:

• student in my community have to travel a long distance to go to school either by public transportations or automobiles. It cost them at least one hour to go to school. So that they have to get up much more early then the students in other community. Some of the students choose to go to school by bike. They think that riding a bicycle can save time, but most of the parents think that it’s very dangerous to ride a bike in the heavy traffic. The children may have a car accident, even loose their life on the way to school…save money on transportation, save time so that students can have more spare time to spend with family and friends or develop their own interests.
• A new high school can provide the kids in my community more opportunities to go to school. So they can get a high school degree, and it will be a great help for them to find a better job.And for those excellent student, they may have the opportunity to go to university. They can have higher education, and even study abroad. So you see, a high school in the community may give those kids in my community, whether they smart or not, a bright future.
• Finally, if we cannot afford to open this high school. It will bring us serious problems. There’s a lot of junior middle school graduates in my community and they cannot find good jobs. Most of them love to hang out for a whole night in bars, and some of them even use drugs and commit crimes. It has already become a serious trouble to the community. Giving these children an other option would both save them and the society.

·        CONCLUSION:
In sum, a new high school can…,…,….And I support the idea tha a new high school should be built in my community.

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

#98 – One Thing to Represent Your Country
·        INTRO:
For those who have watched the film ”Forrest Gump” may remember one of the interesting scene that represent China: Forrest played pingpong with China national team and he finally got a national prize in honor of his great contribution to the Sino-American relationships. In my opinion, there’s no better choice other than table-tennis, one of the most popular sport in China, can represent my country.
·        BODY:
Table tennis is a national sport in China. For most of the Chinese people, pingpong is one of the best friends that they spend almost whold life with. Kids play pingpong at their early age; some of the adults watch almost every live table tennis match in television thought there’s still a lot of work to do; the olds, who have alrealdy retired, play pingpong with their old friends and believe that playing pingpong can make them be healthier and stronger. Table tennis is a national sport in China. You can hardly find someone that haven’t heard of pingpong in my country. It is far more popular than you can imagine.
And also, table tennis is the nation’s pride. In the early 50s, an excellent table tennis player, Rong Guotuan, won the first world champion for the nation, and this greatly encourage the people in China. Today, Chinese national table tennis team is famous for its excellent performance in almost every match. The players from China not only won countless gold medal for the country, but also work as a coach in other country after retired from the national team. China has a great influence on the development of  table tennis.
Just like the sample I used at the beginning of the essay: Gump played pingpong with Chinese in the movie “Forrest Gump”, this scene also represent one of the most important contribution of table tennis in China. In the late 60s, chairman Mao invited the American table tennis players came to China and played the game, and this finally help improve of the Sino-American relationship. In China, we call this historical event “The small ball turns the big ball”. In this phrase, the big ball meas the global relationship; the small ball meas table tennis sport; Chinese people use this interesting phrase to show that table tennis onces played an important role in the international relationship.
·        CONCLUSION:
For all above, table tennis is a national sport in China, a pride of the country, and it also have great influence on Sino-American relationship. Without the help table tennis, I’m afraid, people’s life will be much more diffent than now, and even I cannot have a TOEFL test and introduce this sport that representing my country.

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

继续发~
个人觉得上一篇结尾写得很贱,大家别打我~


#18 – A Good Supervisor (boss)
·        INTRO:
It is lucky for us, university graduates, who are lacked of first-hand experience and practical knowledge, to have such an execllent supervisor like Mr. Zhang, the former president of Oriental Land, who set an ideal model of a Good Supervisor.
·        BODY:
While humor and kindness are important characteristics for bosses to have, work is a serious business, and must be approached with a serious attitude. In this company, Mr. Zhang set a good example for his staff to show that an excellent business man should always work hard on schedule. He go to work everyday at 8 o’clock and he never be late. Every day he manage his work on a clear and detailed schedule. He is very strict to himself, this is one of the most important reason that his achievement owe to. So you see, a boss must have a serious and professional attitude that set an example for all of the employees in the work place.
Secondly, Mr.Zhang always treat his staff fairly. He respect all of his employees, no matter what position they are in. One day a lady cleaner dropped an important material into dustbin unconsciously. And one of my colleaguers was very angry about that, and he scolded her in public for several minutes and even put some dirty words on her.
A poor supervisor never considers his employees’ feelings. When Mr. Zhang heard this, he asked the colleague to appologrize for his rude act. He told all of the employees in the office that people should never never look down upon other with their clothes, hairstyle, and the position they’re in in the company. This make me respect him more because a good supervisor should always treat his staff fairly.
What’s more, I think that Mr. Zhang is also considerate. Some of the young colleagues prefer to work in the afternoon and in the evening, Mr. Zhang allowed them to do so. So you see, in this company, you can see the staff work so hard on their own schedule: some of them come back early in the morning, others stay up in the evening. This policy creates a free and relax atmosphere in the company, and help every one work more efficiently.
·        CONCLUSION:
All in all, ...,…,…I hope I can be such an excellent boss like Mr. Zhang in the future.

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

#179 – A Good Parent
·        INTRO:
It is so ridiculous that all of us cannot choose our parents, while some of us still have several strict principle to argue that whether a person, nomatter man or woman, is a good parent or not. For the people who gave our birth, children should have a complex feelings that they are hard to tell. Even in modern China, following the traditon, it is still not so polite for people to comment their parents in public. But there’s still some priciple to judge a person whether he or she is a “qualify” parent, that is whether he or she is pay enough attention to the children’s education; whether he or she set an good example for the children; and whether he or her love the country.
·        BODY:
Chinese people consider that the education play the most important role in children’s development. So it is a shame for the parents if they didn’t send their children to school if they have enough money. And some of the poor parents in the country even sell their blood in the hospital to support their children to go to the university. One of the most famous stories was happened in ancient China. Mrs. Meng, the ancient mother who is poor but paid much attation to the child’s education, moved her house for 3 times to find her child an ideal school to study. And finally, her son ,Mencius, become one of the most famous philosophers in China. From then on, Chinese people use this story to asked the parents to pay enough attantion to the children’s education.
Also, Chinese people think that parent should set an good example to their children. The parents don't have to be rich, or successful in their career, but have to be kind and help to the people around them, especially to be kind of their parents. There’s a saying for the parents in China: “Children will treat you in the way that you treat your parents”, which means that children will follow the parents’ example if the parents don’t treat their parents well. Respect the olds, that is one of the most important Chinses custom that parents should set an good example to their parents.
Moreover, good parents should love their country. Because Chinese have suffered wars for thousands of years and people believe that we won’t have a happy family if our country is in danger. Anther mother from ancient China, Mrs. Yue, asked her son to fight with the enemies and don't have to be worried about the family. In 50s of  20 centry, parents in China also sent their Children to North Korea, so as Chairman Mao. Mao’s elder son, Mao Anqing, died in the North Korea. Chinese people also consider that it is a good example for the priciple that good parents should love their country.

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

:loveliness: 不好意思~我自己顶下....

moondy74178945UID: 2231844

希望楼主取得好成绩，有空的话帮楼主pat~

moondy74178945UID: 2231844

#30 – A New High School
·        INTRO:
since ancient times, people in China(Chinese) are aware of (that) choosing a right school for their children is very important for the children’s development(future is better). One of (numerous examples)the ancient mother, Mrs. Meng, moved her family (for) 3 times (in order to find a proper shool for her kids)to help her kids go to an ideal school. Today, in my(our is better) community, a new high school will be built and the parents nowadays don't have to make such a tough decision that which school should they sent their children (to). The answer is obvious. There’s no better choice than this new high school, which will be established in my community.
·        BODY:

   1. students in my community have(a long trip) to travel a long distance to(arrive) go to school (either by public transportations or automobiles). (It cost them at least one hour to go to school.) So (that) they have to get up much (more) earlier than (the) students in other communities. Some (of the) students choose to go to school by bike. They think that riding a bicycle can(might is better) save time, but most (of the) parents think that it’s very dangerous (to ride a bike in the heavy traffic). The children may (can is better)have an (car) accident, even loose their life on the way (to) school…save money on transportation, save time so that students can have more spare time to spend with family and friends or develop their own interests.
   2. A(The) new high school can provide (the) kids (in my community) more opportunities to go to school.(a little confused) So they can graduate (get a high school degree), and it(the diploma) will be a great help for them to find a decent(better) job. And for those excellent student, they (will) may have the opportunity to go to university. They can (get)have (further)higher education, and even study abroad. So you see,(not proper) a(the) high school in the community (will)may give those kids (in my community, whether they smart or not) a bright future.
   3. Finally, if we cannot afford to build(open) this high school. It will (bring us)be a serious problems. There’s a lot of junior high(middle) school graduates in my community and they cannot find a good jobs. Most of them love to hang out for a whole night in bars, and some of them even (use)addict in drugs and commit crimes. It has already became a serious trouble to the community. Giving these children an other option would both save them and the society.

·        CONCLUSION:
In sum, a new high school can…,…,….And I support the idea tha a new high school should be built in my community.

You will have a long path to improve, the statement lacks in persuasion, and plenty of grammar and expression mistakes. All corrections are my personal suggestions~

[ 本帖最后由 moondy74178945 于 2007-8-17 17:16 编辑 ]

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

THX A LOT~~!

梅菲斯突UID: 2330105

刚刚模完了BARRON test2,把写作部分贴上来
由于肚子很饿...没有检查...
好饿啊......

It is lucky for as, the only child, who was born in the 80s of 20th century, own a pet like dog or cat in the family, and accompany with us to spend those tough living alone. It is considered that having pet and treat them like family member has a lot of benefit: having a lot of fun with pets, taking care of them like looking after babies, and what more and the most important is that, you are not alone at home anymore. However, I have a different opinion that people should not treat pets as like family member.

One of the most important is that although pets are lovely and considerate in almost every situation, it is not real person. People should communicate with people, but not pet. Hardly can you imagine that you can talk to your golden fish swimming in a bottle. Personally, I'd rather go out with my friends than to stay home with a silence fish.

Also, treating pets as your family member will make you ignore other family member, including your parent. Most of the pets, like dogs and cats, have a similar character like babies, who need to be token care of, to be feed, and also need to have a bath every week. It is sure a tough work that will spend the owners a lot of time. If you have to take care of your pets after a day of hard work, how can you have enough time to spend with your family? I think that it will surely bring harms to the relationship between family members. Isn't it terrible?

Moreover, most of the pets have a shorter life than human beings, which means you have to suffer pain after your pets died. Everyone will sure be so sad if one they judge as a family member died and the long-lasted pain is very hard to recover. Personally, I don't want to suffer that pain, and even I don't have the courage to face the death of my pet! So, I'd better choose not having my own pet.

All in all, I disagree with the idea that pets should be treated like family members. Although it will be a memorable time which spent with pets, pets are hard to communicate, make people ignore with the family members, and also result in unbearable pain after death. So I highly recommend that pets shouldn't be treated like family members.

moondy74178945UID: 2231844

:loveliness: 多写多练有助提高~
correct ur spelling first, and post the prompt!

[ 本帖最后由 moondy74178945 于 2007-8-20 09:20 编辑 ]