紧急求教:ARGUMENT结尾可以提新的改进措施么?

乖孩子UID: 207149

以前在范文书上看过,A的结尾部分比较忌讳列举新的文章中的错误

我的问题就是:不列举新错误,但可不可以列举新的改进措施?前面论证部分没有提到的

比如建新校舍那题,我文中举了它三个错误:1. 目前的增长未必一定持续,新生可能多本地,住家里
                                                        2. 出租房价格上涨可能是正常的通货膨胀,收入也增长,承受的了
                                                        3.可能宿舍价格更贵

结尾我想说如果想更好地吸引生员,可以通过增强师资,美化环境等其它手段,不知道这样可不可以啊?请考过的同学赐教,万分感谢!

speaklessUID: 2205899

个人意见:
我感觉有些问题,ARGU是驳论,你说改进措施没事,但是这点应该扣在作者如何写可以让文章逻辑更严谨.你所说的确比较像在脱离文章再立论似的.

星夜无夏UID: 2333978

原帖由 speakless 于 2007-8-20 15:44 发表
个人意见:
我感觉有些问题,ARGU是驳论,你说改进措施没事,但是这点应该扣在作者如何写可以让文章逻辑更严谨.你所说的确比较像在脱离文章再立论似的.

附议。

更多的感觉这是一种论证手段。而且ETS官方也说了那是一种论证方法。

至于结尾的讨论欢迎LZ继续积极展开思考。我现在也不知道。不过我可以拿我后来的做法给大家来讨论下。

乖孩子UID: 207149

这么说来结尾不适合脱离论证部分的内容另开炉灶撒

星夜无夏UID: 2333978

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
WORDS: 495          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-12 ÏÂÎç


In writing the last thing in the argument, to choose a special case to compare to their own estate, the writer will hardly attain the successful. If he wants to refer to the cases which had success in value increased. He would better to do more investigates of others conditions in this area as same as Deerhaven Acres. Also he needs inquiry were there any other elements impacting the value of the community? Like the transportation, the number of schools, the public facilities and green covering rate. Those are not the all things which can support this conclusion but more attractive to the potential readers which will look at the letter in future.

speaklessUID: 2205899

:) 其实他说的主要看如何写啦..
可以写成ARGUMENT的驳论
也可以写成ISSUE式的立论..
只是按照他的描述,更像立论....MS有些像ISSUE的结尾格式..提出展望,修改意见等.

星夜无夏UID: 2333978

TOPIC: ARGUMENT18

At the last one, whether the Prunty County needs limit the speed below 55 or not, at the first the writer should collects more data from a sample which big enough. It can show whether the new limit speed lead people to more convenience or safer than before. The writer should measure the comprehensive consequences of the decreasing accident rate. Then he can make a fairly conclusion about the relationship between accident rate and new speed limit.

TOPIC: ARGUMENT214

All in all, if the writer stressed in researching the importance of public school education, he would better to make a survey among the residents. The survey should be included that the supporting rate of residents of public education, the satisfaction rate of the educational quality and he need to inquiry the people whether they think their city needs other enhancement to lift their educational level. Such approaches are not the all directions of increasing the convincing of this study, however, it must be more attractive to the potential readers.

这是另外两个，我发现，虽然也是提建议。但是总体来说我是在从整体的论证手段上对作者提出改进手段。大家看看吧。我自己深在庐山中

speaklessUID: 2205899

GREAT

victoria_guoUID: 2312056

wonderful!!

DemoUID: 2331967

切题最重要吧..

觉得可以针对speaker现在的证据/分析/结论提"改进意见"但是最好不要另外想出个完全无关的解决方法..

顺便赞下星星 ;d: