最近写的一篇文章,望各位牛人帮小弟改一下

charles2048UID: 2387814

Some people think scientist contribute the society more,others believe other subjects contribute more such as language and business.What degree do you agree or disagree.

There is a long-running debate as to whether the social progess lie with science or with other subjects.
Some people believe that scientist motivate the modernization of mankind heavily while others maintain
that  society has been booming since now due to the even-accelecating development  of other principles such as business and linguistic. To my mind, the former view does make sence.

We can hardly lose the sight of the fact that every country  prides itself on the scientific and technical advance and keeps abreast on sophisticated skillin the world.Undoubtedly,Science which creates wonders during the history of mankind, plays a vital role in stimulating the progress of human beings' civilization.For instance,since the first evporated machine had been invented,the sociaty ran into the industriated time where the efficiency of mannual work was improved extremely meanwhile the scale of production was enlarged much more than that before.In addtional,a deep awareness to the world has been further with the help of the scientific knowledge.Finally,the change of the life style and standard has taken place gradually.the variety of household electronic equipments makes the daily life much more convenient that the ancient people can not imagine.The average lifespan become much longer because of the first level medical facilitise that scitence brings about.

Nevertheless.I am far from advocating neglect of business and language,am I an enthusiast of scientism.To some extent,the increasing economy depends on the flourish business.Moveover the advance of science enable companies to gain huge profit which can invests the science research to spur the foot of science.


[ 本帖最后由 H-Kevin 于 2007-8-26 09:00 编辑 ]

forbeckUID: 2297645

留着明天把~~今晚有事:handshake

67169619UID: 2320695

你的题目是牛人帮你改，，，，，

ps：我放假了

forbeckUID: 2297645

没看清，那我也休息;d:

67169619UID: 2320695

:)    好好休息吧

H-KevinUID: 2182070

楼上两个不要灌纯水，帮人家把作文改了吧~~~ :o

67169619UID: 2320695

:funk:
看来这次想不该都不行了

我不想再随了

67169619UID: 2320695

There is a long-running debate as to whether the social progess lie with science or with other subjects.
Some people believe that scientist motivate the modernization of mankind heavily while others maintain
that  society has been booming since now due to the even-accelecating(even-accelerating单词拼写错误，但这个词好像是你造的吧，我看不明白) development  of other principles such as business and linguistic. To my mind, the former view does make sence.

We can hardly lose the sight of the fact that every country  prides itself on the scientific and technical advance and keeps abreast on sophisticated skillin the world.Undoubtedly,Science which creates wonders during the history of mankind, plays a vital role in stimulating the progress of human beings' civilization.For instance,since the first evporated machine（好像蒸气机不用过去分词吧？用也是用这个evaporated） had been invented,the sociaty ran into the industriated（工业化也没有用这个啊，好像用这个哦industrialisation，呵呵，共同学习）time where the efficiency of mannual work was improved extremely meanwhile the scale of production was enlarged much more than that before.In additional（？也能这样用，未见过，不好意思请教下）,a deep awareness to（of？） the world has been further with the help of the scientific knowledge.Finally,the change of the life style and standard has taken place gradually.the variety of household electronic equipments makes the daily life much more convenient that the ancient people can not imagine.The average lifespan become（s？） much longer because of the first level medical facilitise（美式写法？） that scitence brings about.

Nevertheless.I am far from advocating neglect of business and language,am I an enthusiast of scientism（?.）To some extent,the increasing economy depends on the flourish business.Moveover the advance of science enable companies to gain huge profit which can invests the science research to spur the foot of science.d

看了你的作文，让我有了一种新的感觉，很严密的逻辑，像是考过GRE的仁兄，很多句子都值得我们学习。
呵呵 ，但题目既然说要你discuss both sides，这个方面你就没有完成task了。
  学习了，谢谢

[ 本帖最后由 67169619 于 2007-8-24 19:53 编辑 ]

sunflower1207UID: 2318402

好像这种社科还有文化类的题都好难写啊
头大~

charles2048UID: 2387814

谢谢楼上的这位仁兄帮我修改,写这题目前是想要discuss both sides,写着写着就变单边讨论了:) ,还有楼主觉的能拿几分这文章

67169619UID: 2320695

原帖由 charles2048 于 2007-8-24 19:48 发表
谢谢楼上的这位仁兄帮我修改,写这题目前是想要discuss both sides,写着写着就变单边讨论了:) ,还有楼主觉的能拿几分这文章

楼主 就是你自己啊;d:
呵呵
说实话 ，我说不出你能得几分，请你原谅:(

GriSSom.ZZXUID: 2234108

increasing business and culture contrast between countries has the positive development,others say it would lose the countries' identities...
题目：有人认为商业的发展，国家间的文化差异有正面影响；另外有人认为这会使国家失去其特性...
关于这个题目我有一点不明白的是国家间的文化差异为什么会使国家特征失去呢？另外商业的发展又为什么会造成国家特征的丧失呢？:confused:

charles2048UID: 2387814

不好意思,我把写的文章的题目给搞错了
现贴题目如下:
Some people think scientist contribute the society more,others believe other subjects contribute more such as language and business.What degree do you agree or disagree.

GriSSom.ZZXUID: 2234108

...ft...
...但有没有人还是回答一下被错贴的那个题目中的问题呢（就是国家间文化的差异（culture contrast）为什么会使有的人认为会造成国家特征（countries' identities）的消失呢？）这道题要我还可能写不出来呢...

[ 本帖最后由 GriSSom.ZZX 于 2007-8-25 20:40 编辑 ]

px200UID: 2335104

厉害、厉害
很值得学习