各位好心人，求帮忙改一下作文吧

navy1949UID: 2188994

求高手帮改一下作文，此外，希望交几位战友，相互改一下作文，共同提高
haijun4495@sina.com

107. Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why.

As for higher education, there are two different views. Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students; and others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Are all students good in studying in college or university? Even thought all students are good at conducting in higher education, are they all interested in that?
   Higher education should not be available to all students. Compared to junior education such as studying in middle school and elementary school, higher education is totally different. A higher education including college and university focuses on cultivating students which have good abilities in learning complex professional knowledge, in cooperating with others to cope with problems, in communicating with society for getting more information. That is, a student should be very good. He/she can perform very well in higher education studying. However, are all students good enough in these abilities? I don't think so. In fact, some students have a so weak basic knowledge deposition that they can't conduct their study well, some even out of school before graduation. So only good students are qualified in higher education. That is a basic premise.
   Higher education should be available to good students who are interested in their major. That a student is good enough for higher education doesn't mean that all good students can study well in college or university. That depends on whether a student is interested in higher education or their major. For example, a boy is very clever and has a high recommendation for his entering college, but he devotes much of his time to playing computer game and spends little energy for his college curriculum, we can definitely conclude that this student can hardly finish his education program. Even if he can concede to pass the exams with a low points, he learns little knowledge or skill for his future development. In this situation, we can see that it is a waste of many perfect resource of education for this kind of student. Higher education should not be available to these students who are not interested in studying in college or university even though they are good or have good abilities to do this.
   In conclusion, higher education is a kind of education that should be available to these students who are good enough to spend their study in college or university as well as have extreme interests in doing this.

[ 本帖最后由 navy1949 于 2007-8-31 00:22 编辑 ]

victory321UID: 2246404

1  " Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students; and others believe that higher education should be available only to good students."与题目重复
   some people hold the opinion that all students can access to a college or university education, while others oppose that only good students are allowed to higher education.

2 Even thought ---suppose that

3 两个问句，建议改为陈述句

4 “Compared to junior education such as studying in middle school and elementary school, higher education is totally different. A higher education including college and university focuses on cultivating students which have good abilities in learning complex professional knowledge,in cooperating with others to cope with problems, in communicating with society for getting more information. ”
   冗长：Compared to junior education such as studying in middle school and elementary school, higher education is totally different in the reqirement of many abilities, such as  learning complex professional knowledge, cooperating with others to cope with problems, communicating with society to get more information. ”

5 That is, a student should be very good. He/she can perform very well in higher education studying.
   IF the student is ...he/she can perform...

6  For example, a boy is very clever and has a high recommendation for his entering college, but he devotes much of his time to playing computer game and spends little energy for his college curriculum, we can definitely conclude that this student can hardly finish his education program. Even if he can concede to pass the exams with a low points, he learns little knowledge or skill for his future development.
这个例子与你的观点That depends on whether a student is interested in higher education or their major.不相关啊，如果说专业不对口还可以，这个是self－control 的问题

到这吧，有些累了。

navy1949UID: 2188994

thanks a lot