贴作文一篇

hildawangUID: 2394142

The dieting habits of the public are changing now. Discuss the possible reasons of this situation. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.

First，the most obvious change is the appearance and spread of fast food-also called junk food. Rich in fat and calorie, it originally stemmed from the western world, chased by people in seek of efficiency and convenience, both of which are the two basic value of an industrialized world. With the wide spread of junk food should hold responsibility for such health problems as obesity, diabetes and heart attack.

The second trend worth noticing is the popular dieting movement, practiced by most woman to adapt themselves to the popular standard of beauty——slim. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Dieting has become almost a mania: woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach. The craziness has lead to malnutrition and a permanent damage to health.

Apart from these changes in dieting I mentioned, there also appeared in favor of healthy food. They only select natural and fresh food instead of junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: health is basic principle and key to a happy life.

[ 本帖最后由 hildawang 于 2007-9-19 17:24 编辑 ]

forbeckUID: 2297645

占位~~~;)

forbeckUID: 2297645

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.

First，the most obvious change is the appearance and spread of fast food-also called junk food. Rich in fat and calorie, it originally stemmed from the western world, chased by people in seek of efficiency and convenience, both of which are the two basic value of an industrialized world. With the wide spread of junk food should hold responsibility for such health problems as obesity, diabetes and heart attack.这句没有主语？？

The second trend worth noticing is the popular dieting movement, practiced by most woman/women to adapt themselves to the popular standard of beauty——slim. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Dieting has become almost a mania: woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach. The craziness has lead to malnutrition and a permanent damage to health.

Apart from these changes in dieting I mentioned, there also appeared in favor of healthy food. They only select natural and fresh food instead of junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: health is basic principle and key to a happy life.
1、词汇量很大，长短句也结合得很好~~~
2、因为题目中提到relevant examples ，我认为你可以在论述了两个原因后，可以适当加上一个例子

hildawangUID: 2394142

恩:) 谢谢你的建议，我修改下再贴上来。

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising

futuremanUID: 2327059

The dieting habits of the public are changing now. Discuss the possible reasons of this situation. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.[很好~提出environment这个主要原因]

First，the most obvious change [TS描写了一个现象，但是根据第一段，这里应该指明第一个原因才对：即对efficiency 和convenience的追逐]is the appearance and spread of fast food-also called junk food. Rich in fat and calorie, it originally stemmed from the western world, chased by people in seek of efficiency and convenience, both of which are the two basic value of an industrialized world. With the wide spread of junk food should hold responsibility for such health problems as obesity, diabetes and heart attack. [怎么最后说到健康上了….]

The second trend[又是一个现象，不是原因] worth noticing is the popular dieting movement, practiced by most woman to adapt themselves to the popular standard of beauty——slim. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Dieting has become almost a mania: woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach. The craziness has lead to malnutrition and a permanent damage to health.

Apart from these changes in dieting I mentioned, there also appeared in favor of healthy food. [第三个现象]They only select natural and fresh food instead of junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: health is basic principle and key to a happy life.

我觉得按照你的逻辑思路，应该这样分析：environment变化 导致人们对效率和方便的追求，对美丽的关注导致对dieting 的change。而TS都是在陈述现象，然后说着说着才说到原因上，这不是典型的中国式含蓄表达法么？为什么不直截了当的说呢
所以应该这样展开，比如第一段：
现在人们越来越追求效率，这种environment change使得fast food受到欢迎。下面再写why 追求效率，究竟how影响了fast food（dieting habits的其中一个change）

比上一篇有进步，加油～～

hildawangUID: 2394142

恩恩，认真吸取~~感觉我思路有点不清的说。。。:funk:

hildawangUID: 2394142

修改版：

The dieting habits of the public are changing now. Discuss the possible reasons of this situation. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.

First of all, the fierce competition in working environment has exerted a considerable change in the public dieting habits. It has led to the seek for efficiency so that precious time can be saved for more work. So it is no wonder that the fast food, which serves exactly the time-saving function, become so popular ever since its appearance. Although rich in fat and calorie, fast food is just what it called: fast and convenient. Whenever and wherever you feel hungry, fast food is always available and it will take much time. However, fast food lifestyle should also hold responsibility for most health problems like heart attach or diabetes.

The second reason for the shift of public eating habit is the revolutionary change in beauty standard. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Consequently, dieting has become almost a mania in the modern world: woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach. The craziness has lead to malnutrition and a permanent damage to health.

Apart from these social changes, there also appeared the healthy eating habit movement, promoted by people who choose to lead a more balanced dieting structure, instead of choosing junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: health is basic principle and key to a happy life.


[ 本帖最后由 hildawang 于 2007-9-20 17:44 编辑 ]

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising..

futuremanUID: 2327059

The dieting habits of the public are changing now. Discuss the possible reasons of this situation. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.

First of all, the fierce competition in working environment has exerted a considerable change in the public dieting habits.[开头很好] It has led to the seek for efficiency so that precious time can be saved for more work. So it is no wonder that the fast food, which serves exactly the time-saving function, become so popular ever since its appearance. Although rich in fat and calorie, fast food is just what it called: fast and convenient. Whenever and wherever you feel hungry, fast food is always available and it will take much time. However, fast food lifestyle should also hold responsibility for most health problems like heart attach or diabetes. [基本上很perfect了^_^，但最后一句最好总结一下本段内容，不要在转折写其他内容了，要注意收一收。]

The second reason for the shift of public eating habit is the revolutionary change in beauty standard. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Consequently, dieting has become almost a mania in the modern world: woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach. The craziness has lead to malnutrition and a permanent damage to health.[为什么说到health上，你要论证dieting habits的变化原因，health不是论证终点，或者干脆别说了。要注意段末总结]

Apart from these social changes, there also appeared the healthy eating habit movement, promoted by people who choose to lead a more balanced dieting structure, instead of choosing junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: health is basic principle and key to a happy life.[health movement是你论证的第三个理由，最好不要这么就结尾了，你最好再写一个正规的结尾段落，来总结全文]


偶比较喜欢你这样不断修改自己文章，要扎实的改正错误，避免以后重犯是提高效率的好方法。加油，比上篇好很多拉！~~~

hildawangUID: 2394142

:) 嗯！再接再厉！！

hildawangUID: 2394142

Dieting habits of the public has undergone rapid change in the past years. The diversification of eating habit is a clear reflection of people’s response towards a ever-changing social environment, which I would like to talk about from the following two aspects.

First of all, the fierce competition in working environment has exerted a considerable change in the public dieting habits. It has led to the seek for efficiency so that precious time can be saved for more work. So it is no wonder that the fast food, which serves exactly the time-saving function, become so popular ever since its appearance. Although rich in fat and calorie, fast food is just what it called: fast and convenient. Whenever and wherever you feel hungry, fast food is always available and wont take much of your time. Fast food is the direct reflection of our increasingly fast life pace.

The second reason for the shift of public eating habit is the revolutionary change in beauty standard. The logic goes like this: beauty is equal to slim, and in order to achieve that you should go on a diet. Consequently, dieting has become almost a mania in the modern world. Woman, regardless of age, shudder at the mere mention of “eat” and feel guilty of anything they put into their stomach, which is quite irrational.

Apart from these social changes, there also appeared the healthy eating habit movement, promoted by people who choose to eat fresh and non-artificial diet, instead of choosing junk food or blindly reject any life supporting food. They believe a health body and mind is supported by health food.

No matter what lifestyle people choose, one thing is certain: a well balanced diet is the key to heath, which in turn, ensure a happy life.

futuremanUID: 2327059

窃以为，你的总结段还不能完全包住全文内容
关于全文总结段的写法，要好好捉摸范文啊~~加油

hildawangUID: 2394142

恩, 字字箴言,好好收下了:cool: