作文,求拍!

williamfuUID: 2202679

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today’s society; therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. What’s your opinion?

When facing a strange vocabulary, children have the option to check the dictionary, to ask classmates for help, or even to guess according to the context. Some of them who have the opportunity, however, prefer to use the machine translation most. This essay will examine the strengths and weakness of children using the machine translation to imply that it is still necessary for children to learn a foreign language.

In the first place, the benefits of using machine translation for children can be perceived in the following two aspects. An obvious merit is that using machine translation can save their time. As we know, currently, teenagers have a huge stress on their studies, from their parents, relations and also from themselves, simply because everyone wants to be elite. So this instrument helps them a lot. Everyday after school, they have immense homework waiting for them such as Mathematics, English, and Geography and so on; they cannot waste too much time on one subject in order to guarantee their sleep hours. Machine translation can do it when they met an outlandish word—so convenient.

An often--ignored advantage concerning it also can gain knowledge from that tools, extending meaning for example, some of the translation machine has an encyclopedia within the software. When you met the Chinese word “ChuXi”, and do not know how to explain it in English, the machine will not only tell you that it means New Year in English, but tell you some background: “Chu” in English means drive away, and “Xi” is the name of the horrible monster that came to our world once a year, destroying homes, devouring the crops according to Chinese tradition. We will obtain the knowledge unconsciously.

However, even the magic box has its weak points. Learning a foreign language still of great important especially in China. The 2008 Olympics will hold in Beijing, we were extremely proud of it, and welcome people from all over world regardless of races, skin colors, and religions to join this superb party, and to serve and communicate with foreigners, learning English is significant particularly for our children who stand for the future of China.

In sum, although the machine translation is highly developed, learning a foreign language should not be abandoned.

forbeckUID: 2297645

发作文请在这里留下链接，有加分
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-724783-1-1.html
同时热心板油（牛儿天空和啦啦啦）会给你修改
如果需要菠萝修改请在这里留下链接https://bbs.gter.net/thread-729183-1-1.html
同时欢迎你也给别人改作文（有加分啊），从而学习别人的长处，更快的提高自己咯

forbeckUID: 2297645

帮你链接了，明天来看把:handshake

forbeckUID: 2297645

When facing a strange vocabulary, children have the option to check the dictionary, to ask classmates for help, or even to guess according to the context. Some of them who have the opportunity, however, prefer to use the machine translation most. This essay will examine the strengths and weakness of children using the machine translation to imply that it is still necessary for children to learn a foreign language.第一段很漂亮，在提出问题所在的同时巧妙地加入自己的观点。好~~

In the first place, the benefits of using machine translation for children can be perceived in the following two aspects. An obvious merit is that using machine translation can save their time. As we know, currently, teenagers have a huge stress on their studies, from their parents, relations用teachers如何，父母就代表了亲戚了，有点累赘 and also from themselves, simply because everyone wants to be elite. So this instrument helps them a lot. Everyday after school, they have immense homework waiting for them 这句有点罗索，主语直接用homework，更形象写吧such as Mathematics, English, and Geography 这个有点凑字数的嫌疑and so on; they cannot waste too much time on one subject in order to guarantee their sleep hours. Machine translation can do it when they met an outlandish word—so convenient.TS里，你提到两个方面，但是在接下来的文字里，一直在说save time，即使是从压力和学习两方缅论述，纠其根本，也还是节约时间呀！

An often--ignored advantage concerning it also can gain knowledge from that tools, extending meaning for example, some of the translation machine has an encyclopedia within the software. When you met the Chinese word “ChuXi”, and do not know how to explain it in English, the machine will not only tell you that it means New Year in English, but tell you some background: “Chu” in English means drive away, and “Xi” is the name of the horrible monster that came to our world once a year, destroying homes, devouring the crops according to Chinese tradition. We will obtain the knowledge unconsciously.

However, even the magic box has its weak points. Learning a foreign language still of great important especially in China. The 2008 Olympics will hold in Beijing, we were extremely proud of it, and welcome people from all over world regardless of races, skin colors, and religions to join this superb party, and to serve and communicate with foreigners, learning English is significant particularly for our children who stand for the future of China.首段中，你提出学习英语还是很有必要的，如果我没有理解错，你的主要观点还是支持学习外语的，但是在body的三个部分，你只用了一段文字来支持自己的观点，而且里有太少了，虽然为了奥运会学习英语的观点还算有力，可以考虑从其他角度再次证明学习外语的重要性，最好能有三个支撑点，这样文章也会更有说服力　

In sum, although the machine translation is highly developed, learning a foreign language should not be abandoned.
1、对于作文来说，单词量够大了
2、思维也很灵活哦，那个字典作用的例子很有意思，但是占用了太大的篇幅，就是我前面提到的，如果提出了自己的观点，还是要花更多的笔墨来论证的，要不自己都没法让自己的观点都站住脚。又怎么让考官信服呢
3、最后一段，重申了自己的观点，但是只有17个字，有点头重脚轻的感觉

williamfuUID: 2202679

恩,谢谢了,我在改进一下!

lxd188316UID: 2358989

我感觉很好，有些词用得特别恰当

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising

futuremanUID: 2327059

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today’s society; therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. What’s your opinion?

When facing a strange vocabulary, children have the option to check the dictionary, to ask classmates for help, or even to guess according to the context. Some of them who have the opportunity, however,[however是转折？但是连词应该连接两个句子啊，后面这句不是完整句子] prefer to use the machine translation most. This essay will examine the strengths and weakness of children using the machine translation to imply that it is still necessary for children to learn a foreign language.[观点很明确了]

In the first place, the benefits of using machine translation for children can be perceived in the following two aspects. An obvious merit is that using machine translation can save their time. As we know, currently, teenagers have a huge stress on their studies, from their parents, relations and also from themselves, simply because everyone wants to be elite. So this instrument helps them a lot. Everyday after school, they have immense homework waiting for them such as Mathematics, English, and Geography and so on; they cannot waste too much time on one subject in order to guarantee their sleep hours. Machine translation can do it when they met an outlandish word—so convenient.[段内论证逻辑还比较清晰]

An often--ignored advantage concerning it also can gain knowledge from that tools, extending meaning for example, some of the translation machine has an encyclopedia within the software. When you met the Chinese word “ChuXi”, and do not know how to explain it in English, the machine will not only tell you that it means New Year in English, but tell you some background: “Chu” in English means drive away, and “Xi” is the name of the horrible monster that came to our world once a year, destroying homes, devouring the crops according to Chinese tradition. We will obtain the knowledge unconsciously.

However, even the magic box has its weak points. Learning a foreign language still of great important especially in China. The 2008 Olympics will hold in Beijing, [and]we were[过去时？] extremely proud of it, and welcome people from all over world regardless of races, skin colors, and religions to join this superb party, and to serve and communicate with foreigners, learning English is significant particularly for our children who stand for the future of China.[本段TS是说machine的缺点，但论证过程全是学习外语如何重要….脱节了]

In sum, although the machine translation is highly developed, learning a foreign language should not be abandoned.

全文你要重点论述的是学习外语的必要性，而machine的优缺点只是一个铺垫或者让步，尤其是优点更不应该写出两段来…说白了就是详略不得当，没有突出重点，建议重写一下，加油~

williamfuUID: 2202679

哦,应该把learn foreign language的好处重点写,把主次颠倒了! 要加油了!