请前辈来拍

lovebearmuseUID: 2346951

又麻烦蒙牛前辈了:loveliness:

07.2.3
　　Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment, only governments and large companies can make a difference.  To what extent do you agree or disagree?

正文：
     The issue of environment is certainly a contentious one. But some people argue that individuals are useless to the environment, while government and large corporation play a significant role in environmental preservation. Nevertheless, in my opinion, policy agencies and huge businesses exert a far-ranging influence on environment.
     First of all, for instance, the industrial waste is dumped into rivers without being filtered, thus contaminating the rivers and bringing great harm to the residents nearby. Furthermore, in the process of urbanization, deforestation and land cleaning are incredibly common, which lead to the disastrous effect on our natural water resources. Under this circumstance, only government can take some remedies to preserve our environment. They can have access to effective and affordable approaches including recycling equipment for recycling and re-using municipal sewage. On the other hand, it would be well-advised if government advocates a awareness of environmental preservation and cultivate its people to be responsible citizens.
     Secondly, over the last several years, a growing number of companies have recognized the need to adopt comprehensive management systems to ensure environmental compliance. For example, as of the end of 2002, nearly 50,000 organizations worldwide had obtained the ISO 14001 environmental management system (EMS) certification, with more than 2,600 certificates in the United States alone. While it is widely reported that ISO 14001 and other management systems result in improved regulatory compliance and overall performance, there are also important legal and practical pitfalls that can arise in large, complex firms.
      By way of conclusion, individuals also can offer some measures to protect our ecological circumstance, but all in all, only government and huge businesses can poses a ultimate impact upon our environment.


[ 本帖最后由 lovebearmuse 于 2007-9-30 17:22 编辑 ]

forbeckUID: 2297645

呵呵~~ 我也一起学习拉~~

不过，被叫老啦~~我不是前辈:funk:

forbeckUID: 2297645

The issue of environment is certainly a contentious one. But some people argue that individuals are useless to the environment, while government and large corporation/cooperation play a单复数不同行 significant role in environmental preservation. Nevertheless, in my opinion, policy agencies and huge businesses exert a far-ranging influence on environment.

First of all, for instance, the industrial waste is dumped into rivers without being filtered, thus contaminating the rivers and bringing great harm to the residents nearby. Furthermore, in the process of urbanization, deforestation and land cleaning/degradation are incredibly common, which lead to the disastrous effect on our natural water resources. Under this circumstance, only太过绝对化的用词 government can take some remedies to preserve our environment. They can have access to effective and affordable approaches including recycling equipment for recycling and re-using municipal sewage. On the other hand, it would be well-advised if government advocates a/an awareness of environmental preservation and cultivate its people to be responsible citizens.

Secondly, over the last several years, a growing number of companies have recognized the need to adopt comprehensive management systems to ensure environmental compliance. For example, as of the end of 2002, nearly 50,000 organizations worldwide had obtained the ISO 14001 environmental management system (EMS) certification, with more than 2,600 certificates in the United States alone. While it is widely reported that ISO 14001 and other management systems result in improved regulatory compliance and overall performance, there are also important legal and practical pitfalls that can arise in large, complex firms.这么精确的例子，得保证在考场上能写得出来才好呀

By way of conclusion, individuals also can offer some measures to protect our ecological circumstance, but all in all这太口语化了, only government and huge businesses can poses a ultimate impact upon our environment.
建议：
1、首先是格式问题，英文的文章，最好要顶格写，每段之间空一行；
2、一些长句，像政府报告，目前为止，我读的作文里，还没见到如此写法的，不知道这么写，可不可以
3、在逻辑结构方面，这篇还是不错的