issue224 [奋斗组第二次] 请请请请看一下！说一两句也行^^

bestcaicaiUID: 2355164

提纲
1.新闻以及书籍方面的审查是必要的。
2.艺术（包括电影，艺术品）方面的审查也是必不可少的。
3.可能官员会为了自己的利益abuse言论自由，但是大多数官员的态度都是对国家大众好的。

TOPIC: ISSUE224 - "Censorship is rarely, if ever, justified."
DATE: 2007-10-11 2:42:12

People's opinions of whether censorship is justified or not range a lot. I concede that in some cases censorship may have a measure of side effects. However, in most of the circumstances, reasonable censorship is quite essential and crucial, and it can always do good to populace if the government makes good use of it.

To begin with, most of the time, when we refer to censorship, we mean censorship of news and books. Given that a country may be faced with many threat from other countries, which caused by the expression of opinion in news and books, at this time, censorship is so important that without it the country may step into a dangerous situation. The government need to use reasonable censorship to ensure the security of nation and the stability of sociaty. And it is especially more imprtant for the new regime. The Republic of China which was founded in 1912 is a good case in point. Through a very hard time the Chinese revolutionist Sun Zhongshan had had snatched the regime from Qing Danasty, but under the pressure of his political opponent, he forbad the censorship of news. At last, he was beaten by his political opponent and the forbiddance of censorship contributed a great deal to his failue. So rational cencorship of news is proved to be crucial.

Then comes to another part of censorship that censor of arts including films and art works, which is essential too. The censorship of art works can filter out some junk information for the masses, which is a save of our time. Since the art works may contain lots of factors which lean towards antiadministration and antinational ideas, censorship of them is necessary as well. It is obvious that some films that contain pornagrphy and violence are not available for childen, so we need to divide films into certain categories for the children. As a research conducted by HKU, the more violence and pornagraphy the children have recieved, the more likely that they could be violent and pornagraphic. So we can come to the conclusion that censorship of artworks is quite imprtant.

What’s more, comparing with absolute freedom, people may prefer reasonable constraints, no matter he or she is a child or an adult. For children, they know that when they are playing with each other, they need to figure out a series of deciplines, otherwise the play may be ruined. For adult, the law legislated by human beings is a good proof that reasonable restriction is prefered. Then, it is essential that the expression of opinion should be limited to some extent.

Admittedly, the censorship may have some side effects such as the so-called recedence of democracy. But as far as I am concerned, it is because of the officials’ not-so-good conduction, but not because of the censorship itself. In addition, someone may mention that certain government officials can use censorship for their own interests, otherwise, we need to believe that most of the officials are fulfill their missions with positive attitude to the nation and the public.

To sum up, in the process of carrying out the censorship, there may turned out to be some outcome out of expectation, but we can not renounce the censorship because of the potential threat to the freedom of expression, since it is worthwhile to sacrifice a little part of freedom then we can ensure the most of it. So I did not agree with the speaker’s assertion that censorship is rarely justified. And we need to make proper use of censorship to make our nation a more democratic one.

lyj704UID: 2308235

红色是要删的，蓝色我写的

People's opinions of whether censorship is justified or not range a lot. I concede that in some cases censorship may have a measure of side effects. However, in most of the circumstances, reasonable censorship is quite essential and crucial for both the governments and the masses, and it can always do good to populace if the government makes good use of it.

To begin with, most of the time, when we refer to censorship, we mean censorship of news and books. Given that a country may be faced with many threats from other countries, which caused by the expression of opinion in news and books, at this time, censorship is so important that without it the country may step into a dangerous situation. The government needs to use reasonable censorship to ensure the security of nation and the stability of sociaty. And it is especially more imprtant for the new regime. The Republic of China which was founded in 1912 is a good case in point. Through a very hard time the Chinese revolutionist Sun Zhongshan had had snatchedto snatch(不太清除你原来打算怎样表达) the regime from Qing Danasty, but under the pressure of his political opponent, he forbad the censorship of news. At last, he was beaten by his political opponents and the forbiddance of censorship contributed a great deal to his failue. So rational cencorship of news is proved to be crucial.(感觉你用这个例子应该说明的过度的审查制度带来的危害，但是表达起来像是在说明censorship是相当重要的；我觉得应该再加一些对这个例子的反面假设，比如without the forbiddance, ……(虚拟语气))

Then it(好像要加个形式主语代表后面的从句～) comes to another kindpart of censorship that censor of arts including films and art works, which is essential too. The censorship of art works can filter out some junk information for the masses, which is a save of our time. Since the art works may contain lots of factors which lean towards antiadministration and antinational ideas, censorship of them is necessary as well. It is obvious that some films that contain pornagrphy and violence are not suitableavailable for childen, so we need to divide films into certain categories for certain age groupsthe children. As a research conducted by HKU(最好给出全称), the more violence and pornagraphy the children have recieved, the more likely that they could be violent and pornagraphic. So we can come to the conclusion that censorship of artworks is quite imprtant.

What’s more, comparing with absolute freedom, people may prefer reasonable constraints, no matter whether(我觉得这样通顺点) he or she is a child or an adult. For children, they know that when they are playing with each other, they need to figure out a series of deciplines, otherwise the play may be ruined. For adult, the law legislated by human beings is a good proof that reasonable restriction is prefered. Then, it is essential that the expression of opinion should be limited to some extent. (看得出你这里写的是对有限自由的要求，但是怎样和论点搭上关系需要再下点工夫，但是这段的结尾给人戛然而止的感觉，没有很好地说明与censorship的关系。最好这一段和下一段连在一起写，不然内容上显得很单薄)

Admittedly, the censorship may have some side effects such as the so-called recedence(查不到这个词receding?) of democracy. But as far as I am concerned, it is because of the press(舆论界应该是反对最大的)officials’ not-so-good conduction, but not because of the censorship itself. In addition, someone may mention that certain government officials can use censorship for their own interests, otherwise, we need to believe that most of the officials are fulfilling their missions with positive attitude to the nation and the public.

To sum up, in the process of carrying out the censorship, there may turned out to be some outcomes out of expectation, but we can not renounce the censorship because of the potential threat to the freedom of expression, since it is worthwhile that weto sacrifice a little part of to (个人觉得to表示目的更好)freedom then we can ensure the most of it. So I did not agree with the speaker’s assertion that censorship is rarely justified. And we need to make proper use of censorship to make insure our nation a more democratic one.
很抱歉没有及时给你改，最近作业有点多～
看得出你的文字功底很好，行文语法也没有大问题。逻辑上也可以自圆其说。
主要的意见我都写在上面了，都是一些比较细节的问题。
希望我们共同进步！

[ 本帖最后由 lyj704 于 2007-10-14 12:36 编辑 ]

rickltUID: 2281556

弱问一下孙中山要不要写成专有名词形式的？Sun Yat-sen 貌似……

bestcaicaiUID: 2355164

呼呼~~这样啊...以后多注意！
3Q^^