网吧包夜写了个专业选择的ESSAY，大家提点意见哈

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

There is no denying that Chemistry is extremely important to the human beings or even all the creatures on earth. When your car runs out of gas, you need to go to the gas station for some gas---you are contacting with one of the most important chemicals of the earth---petroleum. When your hands are muddy and you plan to wash them, probably you will face another chemical compound that is even more important to us－water. Chemistry is deeply involved in the daily life, the development of the society, and even the economic growth of one nation, it runs the world.
0 s! E% K4 h# _
9 @5 ^0 G, S4 q$ V5 W8 yThis is your why major essay, not chemistry text book introduction~

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

I do hope I can learn something useful about chemistry in XX university,

7 x; j2 T' P+ uit feels strange. As if they don't teach anything useful and you do "hope" they do

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

...like the combustion of magnesium, the reaction between sodium and water, etc...again, it's not textbook

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

I began to study it systematically after Mr.Liu, another respectful teacher, became my chemistry educator as well as my headteacher.

two verbs withoud conj.

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

i see only one strong reason for your major: you like the experiements. In this essay, you spent 1/3 of it talking about how nice your first chem. teacher is and 1/3 tells the reader about chemistry. Where is you?

tolkien_SUID: 2130759

不要偷懒~~~我不是这方面的专家。多看看精华帖吧~~

hyacinthUID: 2184492

记得看过一个UVA的AO的一篇文章说,好的ESSAY是show not tell
我去找一下 把它帖上来 哈哈

stfreezeUID: 2229135

看看例文书籍，或者别的例文会给你启发的
别泄气，在一本how to write college application essay(差不多这书名）里面说，一个好的essay需要三个月时间，从一开始的没事就想题材，归集题材，拟草筛选选题材，到后来的祥改有一个很长的过程
/ s" L1 W, J+ e可以想很多草稿，再从里面挑好的
1 z/ X2 i: [& \& ]所以有差的草稿很正常
海明威也只是1天写一句话，所以表急
好像有workshop可以参加，免费的，还能多交交朋友大家互相帮助阿~
呵呵

AdamasUID: 2127982

海明威也只是1天写一句话，所以表急
3 q) ~% a' {2 J  W0 F;p COPY....:o

苹果比酸奶甜UID: 2358110

maybe you should focus on yourself more than the pre-essay