求拍!

Ontheway07UID: 2319991

Writing Task 2

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.

*******************************************************

Competition or cooperation, which one should be more encouraged to the education? Some of us hold that competition is much more important as we are living in a competitive world whilst others argue that cooperation should be more emphasized as it is more crucial for a child to be success. As far as I concern, neither of those theories are tenable. Aim to foster useful adults, both competition and cooperation need to be well focused without bias.

To begin with, competition always plays an important part in person’s lives. As we all know that without sense of competition people cannot be success even cannot survive in current modern society. What is more, the competition not only forces us to face our merits and weakness, but leads to us continue to improve ourselves. Take my own experience as example, when I was young I was quite good at Chinese but failed at Math and I never realize this was a big problem, until when I entered high school, facing the college entrance exam which means high extend of competition especially in China. Then I work hard on Math and continue to improve my Chinese, after 3 years hard working I finally enter a satisfactory university.

Furthermore,  we also can not ignore the how critical the cooperation is to the children. “If you want success, the first thing you need to learn is cooperation” said by a famous professor of TSINGHUA university.  Recent years companies focus more on “Teamwork”  or “team spirit” to judge a candidate as they now realized that company goal only can be achieved by cooperation rather than competition.

To sum up, cooperation and competition weigh same on children education. Therefore, schools and parents should make a good balance of both to finally let the children benefit from both.

forbeckUID: 2297645

顶上去，大家帮忙互改呀:)

lovebearmuseUID: 2346951

不好意思,一直没上来,刚看到,帮你改一下:loveliness:

lovebearmuseUID: 2346951

Writing Task 2 Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. ******************************************************* Competition or cooperation, which one should be more encouraged to the education? Some of us hold(the view) that competition is much more important(significant) as we are living in a competitive world whilst others argue that cooperation should be more emphasized as it is more crucial for a child to be success. As far as I concern, neither of those theories are tenable. Aim to foster useful adults, both competition and cooperation need to be well focused without bias. To begin with, competition always plays an important part (essential role)in person’s lives. As we all know that without (a)sense of competition people cannot be success even cannot survive in current modern(increasingly knowledge-based and innovation-driven) society. What is more, the competition not only forces us to face our merits and weakness, but leads to us continue to improve ourselves. Take my own experience as example, when I was young I was quite good at Chinese but failed at Math and I never realize this was a big problem, until when I entered high school, facing the college entrance exam which means high extend of competition especially in China. Then I work hard on Math and continue to improve my Chinese, after 3 years hard working I finally enter a satisfactory university. Furthermore,  we also can not ignore the how critical the cooperation is to the children. “If you want success, the first thing you need to learn is cooperation” said by a famous professor of TSINGHUA university.  Recent years companies focus more on “Teamwork”  or “team spirit” to judge a candidate as they now realized that company goal only can be achieved by cooperation rather than competition. To sum up, cooperation and competition weigh same on children education. Therefore, schools and parents should make a good balance of both to finally let the children benefit from both.

(感觉逻辑不错,论证也蛮好的,就是用词有些重复,帮你改了几处:loveliness: )