argument145 Spring-第2次作业

lifeng_913UID: 2397925

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 616          TIME: 01:02:23         DATE: 2007-11-1 1:05:01

In this argument, the speaker recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In order to support this recommendation, the speaker points out that many people who snore suffer from sleep apnea, and lead to be too tired during the day to exercise. The speaker also cites a new study, showing that

snorers would likely gain weight than others. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible substantiate to the speaker's recommendation.
    The chief reason why I generally disagree with the argument has to do with the force that the speaker unfairly established a causal relationship between snoring and overweight. In the argument, the speaker only points out that there is a correlation between snoring and gaining weight, however, just a correlation does not necessity because a correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to infer a causal relationship. The speaker fails to account for all other possible facts leading to the person who snores gain weight, such as the medicament, which they take to help sleeping well or inhibiting snoring, contains some hormone could resulting in overweighting, or some snorers have no appropriate diets , and so on. Lacking such evidence to the contrary, the speaker's assumption that there is a casual relation between snoring and overweight is still unconvincing.
    Secondly, the speaker provides no evidence that the cited study's results are statistically reliable. It is entirely possible that people inclined to consider that their weight gaining due to snore were more willing to respond to the study than other people were. Even given that the study is statistically reliable, it is still too vague and insufficient to support the arguer's claim that snoring results in overweigh. Lacking evidence of a sufficiently and clear representative survey, the speaker cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any conclusion.
    Thirdly, the speaker unfairly assumes that all of the snorers suffer from sleep apnea. lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, it is entirely possible that some snorers could sleep without interruption of breathing wakes and they are eager to take some exercise more, or some person take the hypnotic to help falling asleep in order to keep good vigor during the day. Without eliminating these possibilities indicated above, the speaker could not strongly establish a correlation between sleep apnea and overweight.
    Finally, even if most snorers suffer from sleep apnea and result in gaining weight, the speaker assumes that "anyone who snores should try to eat less and to exercise more" is both necessary and sufficient for inhibiting them from gaining weight. Yet, the speaker has not provided any evidence to substantiate either assumption. The speaker ignores other relevant factors that may also influence the snorers, it is entirely that some snorers do not suffer from sleep apnea；Even they do not feel too tired to exercise, or do not fall in the tendency of gaining weight. Since the speaker has failed to take into account and rule out these possibilities, the speaker's assertion that snores should try to eat less and to exercise more cannot be taken seriously.
    In sum, the speaker's unwarranted evidence accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation that any snorer should eat less and do more exercise. To more effectively refute the recommendation. The speaker should provide clear evidence that the data reflected by the new study could show a general phenomenon, the speaker also need to provide adequate assurances that the recently collected data is statistically reliable. To better access this argument, I also need to know other reasons of snoring and all the aftereffects caused by snoring or sleep apnea.

syllabus of this argument:
1.the speaker unfairly established a causal relationship between snoring and overweight.
2.the speaker provides no evidence that the cited study's results are statistically reliable.->The study is too vague and insufficient to support the arguer's claim that snoring results in overweigh.
3.the speaker unfairly assumes that all of the snorers suffer from sleep apnea.
4.the speaker assumes that "anyone who snores should try to eat less and to exercise more" is both necessary and sufficient is unconvincing.

life2008UID: 2401740

In this argument, the speaker recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. To support this recommendation, the speaker points out that many people who snore suffer from sleep apnea, and lead to be too tired during the day to exercise. The speaker also cites a new study, which shows that
snorers would likely gain weight than others. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that itlends little credible substantiate(不知道你是不是借用的模板,但是我感觉用的怪怪的) to the speaker's recommendation.
    The chief reason why I generally disagree with the argument has to do with the force that the speaker unfairly established a causal relationship between snoring and overweight. In the argument, the speaker only points out that there is a correlation between snoring and gaining weight. However, just a correlation does not necessity(此句好像不对) because a correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to infer a causal relationship. The speaker fails to account for all other possible facts leading to the person who snores gain weight, such as the medicament, which they take to help sleep well or inhibit snoring, contains some hormone resulting(此句太长了,改成短句可能要效果好点) in overweighting, or some snorers have no appropriate diets , and so on. Lacking such evidence to the contrary, the speaker's assumption that there is a casual relation between snoring and overweight is still unconvincing.
    Secondly, the speaker provides no evidence that the cited study's results are statistically reliable. It is entirely possible that people inclined to consider that their weight gaining related to snore were more willing to respond to the study than other people were. Even given that the study is statistically reliable, it is still too vague and insufficient to support the arguer's claim that snoring results in overweight. Lacking evidence of a sufficiently and clear representative survey, the speaker cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any conclusion.
    Thirdly, the speaker unfairly assumes that all of the snorers suffer from sleep apnea. lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, it is entirely possible that some snorers could sleep without interruption of breathing wakes and they are eager to take some exercise more, or some person take the hypnotic to help falling asleep in order to keep good vigor during the day. Without eliminating these possibilities indicated above, the speaker could not strongly establish a correlation between sleep apnea and overweight.
    Finally, even if most snorers suffer from sleep apnea and result in gaining weight, the speaker assumes that "anyone who snores should try to eat less and to exercise more" is both necessary and sufficient for inhibiting them from gaining weight. Yet, the speaker has not provided any evidence to substantiate either assumption. The speaker ignores other relevant factors that may also influence the snorers, it is entirely that some snorers do not suffer from sleep apnea；Even they do not feel too tired to exercise, or do not fall in the tendency of gaining weight. Since the speaker has failed to take into account and rule out these possibilities, the speaker's assertion that snores should try to eat less and to exercise more cannot be taken seriously.
    In sum, the speaker's unwarranted evidence accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation that any snorer should eat less and do more exercise. To more effectively refute the recommendation,The speaker should provide clear evidences that the data reflected by the new study could show a general phenomenon, the speaker also need to provide adequate assurances that the recently collected data is statistically reliable. To better access this argument, I also need to know other reasons of snoring and all the aftereffects caused by snoring or sleep apnea.
本文对于逻辑错误的分析比我全面多啦,看到LX的大作我也学习到了很多,但是我深感对于统计方法的批驳,应该放在最后,不然给你的感觉层次不明显,(个人意见)

[ 本帖最后由 life2008 于 2007-11-4 23:13 编辑 ]

林周孟UID: 2341714

    In this argument, the speaker recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In order to support this recommendation, the speaker points out that many people who snore suffer from sleep apnea, and lead to be too tired during the day to exercise. The speaker also cites a new study, showing that snorers would likely gain weight than others. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible substantiate（这里应该用名词形式吧substantiation）to the speaker's recommendation.
    The chief reason why I generally disagree with the argument has to do with the force that the speaker unfairly established a causal relationship between snoring and overweight. In the argument, the speaker only points out that there is a correlation between snoring and gaining weight, however, just a correlation does not necessity because(这是什么意思) a correlation is one indication of a causal relationship, but in itself does not suffice to infer a causal relationship. The speaker fails to account for all other possible facts leading to the person who snores gain weight, such as the medicament, which they take to help sleeping well or inhibiting snoring, contains some hormone could resulting(that could result) in overweighting, or some snorers (that)have no appropriate diets , and so on. Lacking such evidence to the contrary, the speaker's assumption that there is a casual relation between snoring and overweight is still unconvincing.
    Secondly, the speaker provides no evidence that the cited study's results are statistically reliable. It is entirely possible that people inclined to consider that their weight gaining due to snore were more willing to respond to the study than other people were. Even given that the study is statistically reliable, (如果统计学上可靠，证明统计学检验有差别，p<0.05，应该拒绝检验假设，接受备择假设，所以括号前后可能矛盾) it is still too vague and insufficient to support the arguer's claim that snoring results in overweigh. Lacking evidence of a sufficiently and clear representative survey, the speaker cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any conclusion.
    Thirdly, the speaker unfairly assumes that all of the snorers suffer from sleep apnea. lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, it is entirely possible that some snorers could sleep without interruption of breathing wakes and they are eager to take some exercise more, or some person take the hypnotic to help falling asleep in order to keep good vigor during the day. Without eliminating these possibilities indicated above, the speaker could not strongly establish a correlation between sleep apnea and overweight.
    Finally, even if most snorers suffer from sleep apnea and result in gaining weight, the speaker assumes that "anyone who snores should try to eat less and to exercise more" is both necessary and sufficient for inhibiting them from gaining weight. Yet, the speaker has not provided any evidence to substantiate either assumption. The speaker ignores other relevant factors that may also influence the snorers, it is entirely that some snorers do not suffer from sleep apnea；Even they do not feel too tired to exercise, or do not fall in the tendency of gaining weight. Since the speaker has failed to take into account and rule out these possibilities, the speaker's assertion that snores(snorers) should try to eat less and to exercise more cannot be taken seriously.
    In sum, the speaker's unwarranted evidence accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation that any snorer should eat less and do more exercise. (good sentence)To more effectively refute the recommendation(这句话应该删掉). The speaker should provide clear evidence that the data reflected by the new study could show a general phenomenon, the speaker also need to provide adequate assurances that the recently collected data is statistically reliable. To better access this argument, I also need to know other reasons of snoring and all the aftereffects caused by snoring or sleep apnea.

syllabus of this argument:
1.the speaker unfairly established a causal relationship between snoring and overweight.
2.the speaker provides no evidence that the cited study's results are statistically reliable.->The study is too vague and insufficient to support the arguer's claim that snoring results in overweigh.
3.the speaker unfairly assumes that all of the snorers suffer from sleep apnea.
4.the speaker assumes that "anyone who snores should try to eat less and to exercise more" is both necessary and sufficient is unconvincing.

[ 本帖最后由 林周孟 于 2007-11-9 19:21 编辑 ]

林周孟UID: 2341714

不知道为什么，我修改部分用红色的，但是发表后就变成黑色的，改了几次都是这样，奇怪。

林周孟UID: 2341714

   

    TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

    WORDS: 831          TIME: 01:38:32          DATE: 2007-11-1 18:45:30

     According to the speaker, people learn just as much from watching television as by reading books, and therefore that reading books is not as important for learning as it once was. Although I agree that television has become an integral part of our daily lives, thus(我觉得这个词在这里用得不恰当), the speaker overstates the comparative significance of watching television as a tool for learning and living. In my points of view, the role that books play is still irreplaceable and merits further advocation.   

      Admittedly, new technology of television has brought us a new tool，which enables us to capture information in a fast, convenient and clear way. With television broadcasts in a multimedia way, people are listening at the time when they are watching television. As the pictures and voices move on, audiences can experience a situation as if it really happens before their eyes. They can watch television news, home and abroad, not only learning what was happening in the whole world but also catching sight of the scene as if they really see it without a mere inch away from their lovely home. Through the television broadcasting, people can see a vivid live music show watching Richard Clayderman's marvelous musical performance and listening to PlacidoDomingo's beautiful voice without a ticket. In addition, there is no doubt that you can watch soap operas and varies advertisements on the television.

      However, now that television, as a new information-hunting tool, has flourished since several decades ago, most of its programs are concerning with the events happened lately and the soap opera composed currently(这句话加在这里有必要吗). What is more, the information broadcast on the television is spontaneously for the audiences. It is difficult for them to review the program at their pleasure except that they kept a record with a special machine. On the contrary, overwhelming majority of books was written by the authors living in the history. That is why there is a saying that the reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest men of past centuries. What is important, this kind of precious conversations can be review repeatedly up to the reader's mind.（看了你的作文这么久，我都是在学句型，但看到这一段，我发现在内容上有问题了，这段话，你是要表达看电视不方便复习，看书方便复习吧，但句首那么长一句话与这个中心有关吗，应该改一改句首吧。）   

      At the same time, watching TV as an innovative method to learn plays important role in studying for its large amount of information. With rapid technological development, many manners of our lives are influenced and changed, we are now suffering from the fact that more and more audiovisuals stepped into our daily lives of education, no more than entertainment, such as epidiascope, slide projector, DVD players and so on. It is evident that television holds certain advantages over books for imparting certain types of knowledge. Long-distance education gives us an option to traditional education through reading and teaching in the classroom. By watching the documentary programs such as "National Geographic" and "Discovery", we can extend our ken, our eyeshot. Taking one with another, the television merits tending to create passive viewers by providing instant culture.(good sentence)   

       Although having some merits as a new media, the television does not seem to become an effective tool for learning nowadays. For example, it is reported that in the United States, roughly 97 percent prime-time broadcast TV is devoted to entertainment programs, rather than educational ones. This fact indicates that televisions are nearly profit-based, and their commercial orientation drives them to be entertaining more so than educational. Besides, some strictly confined content like violence, sex, and so on, which are only for the adult, can be freely and conveniently accessed to by the children and the adolescents. Maybe the television has its inherent merits, but the TV stations are driven by profit. By focusing on the "sensational"----by which I mean comparatively shocking, entertaining, and titillating events that easily catch one's attention, The television appeal to our emotions and baser instincts, rather than to our intellect and reason.    

       Furthermore, The television holds large part of our times, but it help us little( 上面说看电视作为一种学习方法的好处，但现在这里又说little几乎没有作用，感觉有点矛盾) in learning, thus, the books are still a quite significant way for us to learn knowledge, for the convenience, the low cost and the broad scope of knowledge it can offer. Obviously, the speaker has overlooked the mere fact that books are inherently superior to television as a medium for learning. Watching television can neither provoke abstract thinking, which is most crucial in advanced scientific research, nor can it teach effective management and adequate control of written language. When we want to look up some information about specific knowledge, we should turn to books for help, rather than television, because it is not always available for the television and the program projected hardly be replayed. As the existence of the situations mentioned above,    

      From what has been discussed above, although the television, as a newly developed method, has its unique merits in documenting, conveying and showing the information, it cannot replace the book as the most important way of learning. Just like Maxim Gorky, the celebrated Russian writer, said, "The book is steps and ladders which the humanity progresses, life-long companion, sincerest friend(最后这句话漏了几个单词吧)."

   看了你四篇作文，我都是当作范文和例句来学习的，希望你好好积累名人事例吧。你起点这么好，一定会写得更好的。

[ 本帖最后由 林周孟 于 2007-11-9 19:26 编辑 ]

林周孟UID: 2341714

编辑的时候修改部分是用红色的字体，但发表的时候却变成黑色，真是奇怪。