Issue3 picasssoni[5f] 求拍

picassoniUID: 2375380

The author argues that allocating money for immediate social problems is more important than spending money on long-term research that benefits future generations. I can not totally agree with the statement, since in my view both short-term social problems and long-term investigations are equally important and we should spend money according to the practical demands.

Firstly, money spent on immediate, existing social problems are the basic prerequisites for the survival of a society.  Each society is always confronting some kinds of problems, which is a essential feature of society. Because a society is composed of different people and their abilities, motivations and status are not the same, resulting inevitable conflicts between them. Take China for example: since the open and reform policy is carried from 1978, a lot of people become rich while more and more people are even poorer, especially for peasants. So many peasants go to developed distinct or cities, willing to make money. However, this kind of migration introduces a large number of social problems: hijacks, unfair treatments in job and even an enmity to the rich from the poor. So money must be spent on improving the living conditions of peasants and their educations, building more economic housing for poor and founding a strong social insure system. Only can money be spent on these problems, the society will forward healthily and the whole country can survive.

Secondly, long-term research is a independent part of a society. The explorations of unknown world is a nature of human being. And investigations in research havebenefits many generations of people, no matter what kind of research. For example, the technology of nuclear, which was invested from the whole money  of the United States of American, provide a new way to building generators that make getting power more easily. Another example is Internet,: It is a common sense that building the infrastructure of network of country will consume uncountable money, not mention the cut-edge technology research spent on it. However, nowadays flourish of Internet economics proves the investigation is correct. And the Cyber network has changed all corners of our life. We get a lot of connivances that we have never image. So long-term research is worthy.

Money allocation money on the two types activities should be thoughtful considered, which determined by the situation for different countries or cultures.
When the major task of a country is to deal with immediate problems and it cannot afford to a equal amount of money on long-term research, the government should put money to the former.  If the country can handle enough money for social problems, more and more money should invested into research.
In sum, short-term social problems and long-term research problems are two hands of a human, which are both useful for the healthy of men. So we should allocate both money for them and cannot ignore either.

[ 本帖最后由 picassoni 于 2007-11-6 14:23 编辑 ]

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

The author argues that allocating money for immediate social problems is more important than spending money on long-term research that benefits future generations. I can not好像现在用cannot更多一点，更加现代一点 totally agree with the statement, since in my view both short-term social problems and long-term investigations are equally important and we should spend money according to the practical demands.开门见山，直入主题，感觉挺好的～正好我写的观点跟楼主一样
Firstly, money spent on immediate, existing social problems are the basic prerequisites for the survival of a society.  Each society is always confronting some kinds of problems, which is a an essential feature of society. Because a society is composed of different people and their abilities, motivations and status are not the same, resulting inevitable conflicts between them.这句似乎有点扣题不紧 Take China for example: since the open and reform policy is carried from 1978, a lot of people become rich while more and more people are even poorer, especially for peasants. So many peasants go to developed distinct or cities, willing to make money. However, this kind of migration introduces a large number of social problems: hijacks, unfair treatments in job and even an enmity to the rich from the poor. 到这里为止都是在叙述例子，个人认为花在描述例子的篇幅略多，最好将下面议论例子的比重增加So money must be spent on improving the living conditions of peasants and their educations, building more economic housing for poor and founding a strong social insure system. Only can money be spent on these problems, the society will forward healthily and the whole country can survive.
Secondly, long-term research is aan independent part of a society. The explorations of unknown world is a nature of human being. 主谓语不一致的语法错误，explorations 要用are，to explore可以用isAnd investigations in research have benefits 应当加一个介词to/for many generations of people, no matter what kind of research有点太绝对了吧！. For example, the technology of nuclear, which was invested from the whole money  of the United States of American, provide a new way to buildingbuild generators that make getting power more easily. Another example is Internet,: It is a common sense that building the infrastructure of network of country will consume uncountable money, not mention the cut-edge technology research spent on it. However, nowadays flourish of Internet economics proves the investigation is correct. And the Cyber network has changed all corners of our life. We get a lot of connivances that we have never image. So long-term research is worthy.
Money allocation money on the two types activities should be thoughtful considered thoughtfully considered, which is determined by the situation for different countries or cultures.
When the major task of a country is to deal with immediate problems and it cannot afford to a an equal amount of money on long-term research, the government should put money to the former.  If the country can handle enough money for social problems, more and more money should be invested into research.建议这一段跟上一段合并，而且有点论述不够详尽
In sum, short-term social problems and long-term research problems are two hands of a human, which are both useful for the healthy of men. So we should allocate both money这种表达有点问题 for them and cannot ignore either.

总的来说，行文流畅、正面回应题目，但是有一些常犯的语法错误，例如，a/an的使用，主谓语一致，动词单复数要和主语保持一致
还有写作格式，每一段之间要空一行，正式考试的时候也是要这样的～希望以后能习惯^_^
以上仅是个人的一点看法，欢迎讨论～～以后还要多多指教啊^_^

picassoniUID: 2375380

谢谢 shuwenying的建议,空行是复制上来的时候出现了点问题, 语法上可能是本身时间比较紧,我来不及仔细看,下次改进:handshake

picassoniUID: 2375380

谢谢 shuwenying的建议,空行是复制上来的时候出现了点问题, 语法上可能是本身时间比较紧,我来不及仔细看,下次改进:handshake

picassoniUID: 2375380

谢谢 shuwenying的建议,空行是复制上来的时候出现了点问题, 语法上可能是本身时间比较紧,我来不及仔细看,下次改进:handshake

buryhuangUID: 2392485

only some minor supplementary comments:


The author argues that allocating money for immediate social problemsis more important than spending money on long-term research thatbenefits future generations. I can not totally agree with thestatement, since in my view both short-term social problems andlong-term investigations are equally important and we should spendmoney according to the practical demands.

Firstly, money spent on immediate, existing social problems are thebasic prerequisites for the survival of a society.  Each society isalways confronting some kinds of problems, which is a essential featureof society. Because a society is composed of different people and theirabilities, motivations and status are not the same, resultinginevitable conflicts between them. Take China for example: since theopen and reform policy is carried from 1978, a lot of people becomerich while more and more people are even poorer, especially forpeasants. So many peasants go to developed distinct or cities, willingto make money. However, this kind of migration introduces a largenumber of social problems: hijacks, unfair treatments in job and evenan enmity to the rich from the poor. So money must be spent onimproving the living conditions of peasants and their educations,building more economic housing for poor and founding a strong socialinsure system. Only can money be spent on these problems, the societywill forward(verb. forward) healthily and the whole country can survive.

Secondly, long-term research is an independent part of a society. Theexplorations of unknown world is a nature of human being. And(remove And)investigations in research have benefits to many generations of people, nomatter what kind of research (some verb. add here?). For example, the technology of nuclear,which was invested from the whole money  of the United States ofAmerican, provide a new way to building(build?) generators that make gettingpower more easily. Another example is Internet,: It is a common sensethat building the infrastructure of network of country will consumeuncountable money, not mention the cut-edge technology research spenton it. However, nowadays flourish of Internet economics proves theinvestigation is correct. And(remove?) the Cyber network has changed all cornersof our life. We get a lot of connivances that we have never imaged.(Connivance is a willingness to allow or assist something to happen even though you know it is wrong. no context for this sentence...not required by either before or after..) Solong-term research is worthy(worthwhile).

Money allocation money(remove) on the two types of activities should be thoughtfulconsidered, which is determined byaccording to(not the situation dtermines the allocation, instead, someone determines the allocation according to the situation) the situation for different countriesor cultures (no supporting for culture above, should it be demands/needs?).
When the major task of a country is to deal with immediate problems and(but[logically])it cannot afford to(vt. remove) a equal amount of money on long-term research, thegovernment should put money to the former.  If the country can handle(anyone can handle money, so may it be reserve?accumurate?)enough money for social problems, more and more money should be investedinto the research.
In sum, short-term social problems and long-term research problems aretwo hands of a human, which are both useful for the healthy of men. So(too many so, may use hence?therefore?By all means?)we should allocate both(remove) money for both of them and cannot ignore either(neither can be ignored). (this paragraph, good, metaphor used)

[quoted]The argument's careful line of reasoning is further strengthened by the vivid metaphor
[quoted]The smooth development is aided by the use of appropriate transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance,"
among others. The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.
[quoted]The argument is rooted in two extended examples, both well chosen.
[quoted]The writing is generally error free. There are few problems in sentence structure, grammar, and usage,
although the phrasing is at times imprecise and wordy. Overall, this response displays clearly adequate
control of the elements of written English.
[quoted]The smooth development is aided by the use of appropriate transitions: "but," "usually," and "for instance,"
among others. The essay ends by revisiting the writer's thesis.