Issue185 [5F小组] 第2次作业 求拍

seafish0426UID: 2407075

Could scandals be useful for they can collect the public's attention in which ways the speaker or refomer could not achieve as the speaker states? In my view, the scandals can recall people's attention on some ignored aspects to some extents. However, too much concern on the scandals will lead some social problems which should not appear.

On the one hand, scandals reveal some negative sides in the society and few people would realize without the happening, even some of the crisis should be solved immediately. For instance, the scandal about the sprint queen Jones admits doping which is a profound reflection of athletes’ taking of the banned drugs. After this event reported, many organizations have paid their attention to this issue again, and a new alarm bell of the morality and conscience of the athletes is ringing now. Another example about the scandal of wolf cloning in Korea is also representative which is occurred in April, 2007. When the affair about the ‘father of the clone’ Hwang Woo-Suk who is respected as the nation hero announced that he had cloned human embryos and derived stem-cell lines from them which was proved to be the faked research has already slipped of public’s minds, a new faked research about the clone is under discuss again. Such a series of academic scandals will do raise the attention of the scientists and academicians, and a series of strict laws and rules are called for to settle these crisis.
On the other hand, much too attention on the scandals will lead to the suspicion and distrust of the public and which will bring some unexpected problems. The well-known affair about Mitsubishi Motors concealing the significant defects in the brake system, and hundreds of car accidents were directly caused by the brake error. The company had to suffer a great goods return, losing not only themarket share but also the confidence of consumers and tremendously negative effects in the society. Hence, once such suspicion and distrust have been formed, it is not easy to eliminate and to some extent will mislead the views of those issues referenced.

In sum, I agree that scandals can be useful to indicate some social problems that the speaker and reformer cannot point out. On the other hand, we should control the scandals being attended in proper ways and extent .A balance is called for to solve these problems.


[ 本帖最后由 seafish0426 于 2007-11-8 12:42 编辑 ]

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

Could scandals be useful for they can collect the public's attention in which ways the speaker or refomer could not achieve as the speaker states? In my view 一般来说，in my opinion, to my point of view更加常见, the scandals can recall people's attention on 既然是recall, 用to 好点 some ignored aspects to some extents建议去掉，一个句子里面用了两个some，有点别扭. However, too much concern on the scandals will lead some social problems which should not appear.

On the one hand, scandals reveal some negative sides in the society and few people would realize without the happening, even some of the crisis should be solved immediately. For instance, the scandal about the sprint queen Jones admits doping which is a profound reflection of athletes’ taking of the banned drugs. After this event reported, many organizations have paid their attention to this issue again, and a new alarm bell of the morality and conscience of the athletes is ringing now. Another example about the scandal of wolf cloning in Korea is also representative which is occurred in April, 2007. When the affair about the ‘father of the clone’ Hwang Woo-Suk who is respected as the nation hero announced that he had cloned human embryos and derived stem-cell lines from them which was proved to be the faked research has already slipped of public’s minds, a new faked research about the clone is under discuss again.有点问题，整句话的结构不清晰 Such a series of academic scandals只举了一个例子，不能对应这句话中的a series of will do raise the attention of the scientists and academicians, and a series of strict laws and rules are called for to settle these crisis.举了两个切题的例子，有说服力！但是还请稍微注意一点小问题
On the other hand, much too attention on the scandals will lead to the suspicion and distrust of the public and which will bring some unexpected problems. The well-known affair about Mitsubishi Motors concealing the significant defects in the brake system, and hundreds of car accidents were directly caused by the brake error.这句话有问题，and是一个连词，连接两个句子，但是注意and之前的半句话没有谓语，就是说前面半句不成句子，应当给前半句补上谓语 The company had to suffer a great goods return, losing not only the market share but also the confidence of consumers and tremendously negative effects in the society. Hence, once such suspicion and distrust have been formed, it is not easy to eliminate and to some extent will mislead the views of those issues referenced. 个人认为，这个例子用的不太好，严格上来说这不是scandal，是三菱公司自己的产品质量有问题，然后补偿消费者损失的行为，失去消费者信任和市场也是因为产品质量不好等等，怎么跟丑闻有关？只是个人看法，还请辩证看待这个评论。

In sum, I agree that scandals can be useful to indicate some social problems that the speaker and reformer cannot point out. On the other hand, we should control the scandals being attended in proper ways and extent .A balance is called for to solve these problems.如果能接下来稍微展开一下这一点就好了

第一个分论点论述的挺不错的，但是第二个分论点有点不足
还请务必注意文章中的小语法错误～
仅代表个人观点，还请辩证看待评语，欢迎讨论

seafish0426UID: 2407075

谢谢批改，看完后真的觉得思路清晰了很多，你的建议非常有用，再次表示感谢！