argu117[lestou小组12月4日]

komy_leeUID: 2364433

The author, a business manager of Valu-Mart stores makes a recommend that Valu-Mart stores should increase the stock of home office machines to make the office-supply departments become the most profitble component of Valu-Mart stores. At first glance, the argument seems appealing, but further reflection reavels that it suffers from some flaws as listed below.

The first flaw undermining the argument involes the survey. We are told nothing about how the survey is conducted and whether the sample is sufficient enough in size to be representative to a certain group; Secondly, There is no information about what portion of the people surveyed responded. It is very likely that the people inclined to complain about their conditions of work are more willing to respond to the survey. In sum, without more information about the survey, we cannot accept any conclusion drawn from it.

Secondly, even if the survey is reliable, it is not necessarily follow that the need for home office machines will increase. It is highly possible that the people who are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past have already bought the implements before. Even if they need to be equiped with home office machines, there is no evidence to support the assumption that the trend will continue in the future, and even if so, we are not told anything about how long it will last. Accordingly, any conclusion drawn from the assumptions will be not persuacive.

Thirdly, even if the need for home office machines will last for a long time, we cannot draw any firm conclusion that the profit will increase. Commin sense tells us that profit consists of a couple of complicated factors, it must be weighed by both the revenue and the cost. Perhaps the rent of the stores increase or the stores have to pay more to the workers or it happens to be faced with economy inflation. Without such possibilities taken account, it is unfairly to conclude that the stores will profitable, let alone make the office-supply department the most profitable department.

To summarize, to strength the argument, we need more information about the way how the survey is conducted. Besides, more evidence about supply-and-need issues and revenue-and-cost issues should be provided.

anita840808UID: 2431016

The author, a business manager of Valu-Mart stores makes a recommend that Valu-Mart stores should increase the stock of home office machines to make the office-supply departments become the most profitble component of Valu-Mart stores. At first glance, the argument seems appealing, but further reflection reavels that it suffers from some flaws as listed below.(开头简明扼要，说明旨意，学习，做摘抄做摘抄～～）

The first flaw undermining the argument involes the survey. We are told nothing about how the survey is conducted and whether the sample is sufficient enough in size to be representative to a certain group; Secondly, （楼主，这个第二点看起来好象和本段第一句的第一点对应）There is no information about what portion of the people surveyed responded. It is very likely that the people inclined to complain about their conditions of work are more willing to respond to the survey. In sum, without more information about the survey, we cannot accept any conclusion drawn from it.

Secondly, even if the survey is reliable, it is not necessarily follow that the need for home office machines will increase. It is highly possible that the people who are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past have already bought the implements before. Even if they need to be equiped with home office machines, there is no evidence to support the assumption that the trend will continue in the future, and even if so, we are not told anything about how long it will last. Accordingly, any conclusion drawn from the assumptions will be not persuacive.

Thirdly, even if the need for home office machines will last for a long time, we cannot draw any firm conclusion that the profit will increase. Common sense tells us (这句表达有点中式英语了)，we are well informed by our common sense...)that profit consists of （is entirely influenced by) a couple of complicated factors(是不应该说利润被很多复杂的因素影响？而非组成～）, it must be weighed by both the revenue and the cost. Perhaps the rent of the stores increase or the stores have to pay more to the workers or it happens to be faced with economy inflation. Without such possibilities taken account, it is unfairly to conclude that the stores will profitable, let alone make the office-supply department the most profitable department.

To summarize, to strength(strengthen) the argument, we need more information about the way how the survey is conducted. Besides, more evidence about supply-and-need issues and revenue-and-cost issues should be provided.

建议楼主再陈述观点开头不要重复使用firstly, secondly...你有很多其他选择，比如 on the one hand, on the other, furthermore, what is more, finally , last but not least......
观点立论很好，学习．．．．逻辑谬误找的很准，看来楼主是学理科的吧