argument2『desperado小组』第二次作业 by 铅华落尽

hdofrucUID: 2434623

In the letter sent by a committee of Deerhaven Acres homeowners they recommends that homeowners should follow the experience of homeowners of Broolvile, who set some restriction on environment and color of homes in order to increase Deerhaven property values.  However, from my examination, I found that this conclusion rests on varies of untenable assumptions, and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.
A threshold assumption is that Broolville and Deerhaven Acres have many things in common which means that the success happened in Broolvile would definitely happen in Deerhaven. It is obviously an unsubstantiated suppose, as there might be great difference between the two distraction due to the aspects of homeowner structure, convenience of transportation, location of land and so on. None of these is given by the committee, which result in my first doubt on the decision made by the Deerhaven Committee.
Even the assumption above is reliable, we can find a rupture in the temporal perspective. Seven years is such a long time that any condition related could have changed. With time going by, people might have changed their preferences. People probably will not like the homes with the same color and landscape, as they may want more individuation and freedom about the appearance of their own houses. This forms my second query.
In addition, demand and supply are always two things any market decision can not ignore. Price rising of homes partly rests on the balance between demand and supply. It is simple to understand that if there are few people want to by a new department, price rising means even few new comers to this community. Plus, changes like painting the homes with the same color might enrage people who already reside in. It is the third thing we need to concern about to this argument.
All in all, the committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres haven't look into the in-depth reasons why Brookville community made a dramatic profit by raising the house price. And they also haven't investigated about the changes during these years. Still, they haven't told the difference between the two districts. All these make me doubt about the decision made. In my point of view, they should solve these issues and have a good communication with the residents alrea

grace040802UID: 2348819

:) In the letter sent by a committee of Deerhaven Acres homeowners they recommends that homeowners should follow the experience(example) of homeowners of Broolvile, who set some restrictions on environment and color of homes in order to increase Deerhaven property values.  However, from my examination, I found that this conclusion rests on varies of untenable assumptions, and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.(开头赞一个)

A threshold assumption is that Broolville and Deerhaven Acres have many things in common which means that the success happened in Broolvile would definitely happen in Deerhaven. It is obviously an unsubstantiated suppose, as there might be great difference between the two distraction due to the aspects of homeowner structure, convenience of transportation, location of land and so on. None of these is given by the committee, which results in my first doubt on the decision made by the Deerhaven Committee.

Even if the assumption above is reliable, we can find a rupture in the temporal perspective. Seven years is such a long time that any relative condition could have been changed. With time going by, people might have changed their preferences. People probably will not like the homes with the same color and landscape, as they may want more individuation and freedom about the appearance of their own houses. This forms my second query.

In addition, demand and supply are always two things any market decision can not ignore. Price rising of homes partly rests on the balance between demand and supply.(反驳good) It is simple to understand that if there are few people want to by a new department, price rising means even few new comers to this community. Plus, changes like painting the homes with the same color might enrage people who already reside in. It is the third thing we need to concern about to this argument.

All in all, the committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres haven't look into the in-depth reasons why Brookville community made a dramatic profit (?)by raising the house price. And they also haven't investigated about the changes during these years. Still, they haven't told the difference between the two districts.(与第一段有点重复啊)

All above make me doubt that  if  the decision of DA can be so hastely made. In my point of view, they should solve these issues and have a good communication with the residents alrea

1.赞,文字表达很独到,逻辑思路清晰
2.就是有些小的语法错误,改正就好

Grace想请你以后多多指教!:)

绿松石UID: 2427549

In the letter sent by a committee of Deerhaven Acres homeowners they recommends that homeowners should follow the experience of homeowners of Broolvile, who set some restriction on environment and color of homes in order to increase Deerhaven property values.  However, from my examination, I found that this conclusion rests on varies of untenable assumptions, and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

A threshold assumption（of the author讲清楚是作者的assumption比较好） is that Broolville and Deerhaven Acres have many things in common which means that the success happened in Broolvile would definitely happen in Deerhaven. It is obviously an unsubstantiated suppose, as there might be great difference between the two distraction due to the aspects of homeowner structure, convenience of transportation, location of land and so on. None of these is given by the committee, which result in my first doubt on the decision made by the Deerhaven Committee.

Even the assumption above is reliable, we can find a rupture in the temporal perspective. Seven years is such a long time that any condition related could have changed. With time going by, people might have changed their preferences. People probably will not like the homes with the same color and landscape, as they may want more individuation and freedom about the appearance of their own houses. This forms my second query.

In addition, demand and supply are always two things any market decision can not ignore. Price rising of homes partly rests on the balance between demand and supply. It is simple to understand that if there are few people want to by a new department, price rising means even few new comers to this community. Plus, changes like painting the homes with the same color might enrage people who already reside in. It is the third thing we need to concern about to this argument.（我没觉得重复啊）

All in all, the committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres haven't look into the in-depth reasons why Brookville community made a dramatic profit by raising the house price. And they also haven't investigated about the changes during these years. Still, they haven't told the difference between the two districts. All these make me doubt about the decision made. In my point of view, they should solve these issues and have a good communication with the residents alrea

层次很好，观点也独到，和北美思路不一样～这点比我强不过这几个观点的内在逻辑性还可以深挖一下，第三个分析段可以说一下价格高不一定能赚之类的

hdofrucUID: 2434623

这两篇的观点我都尽可能自己想，所以不太深，写的也比较糊涂，这篇开始还字数不够，不得不添一些进去

hdofrucUID: 2434623

谢谢哦，不过我现在都没有限时写，写的时候还查个资料、词汇什么的，所以实际水平还不行

这一篇的话我是5段，最后一段是总结，应该与第一段呼应，可能你看错了，把它分层两段了，结尾段两句话也是不够的，这样会让批卷人觉得你没写完文章不得不草草结尾

逻辑方面我觉得绿松石说得很对，我的逻辑论证比较浅，得想办法加强一下的