issue151 （AWER)

KevinceUID: 2429350

"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication."  

  

  The speaker asserts that modern communication technologies have kept us away from communicating meaningfully and thoughtfully. As for me, I agree with speaker on the basic notion that although high-speed electronic communications media bings about convenient, it is not without its disadvandages. Feeling lonely, being apart from each other etc. are the main problems that modern technologoies bring to us.

  There is no denying that, since The Idustrial Revolution in Britain, human beings have created a huge number of miracles one after another.The invention of Vapor Mechine propelled us into mechnilaze era. In addition, Thomas Edison's great invention--electric light, also brings about unlimited benefits. From then on, mankinds are no longer afraid of darkness. However, human beings are never satisfied with what they have already discovered. Our science and technology has been developing and improving all the time. Nowadays, an era that is prodominated by information technology has already advented.

  In my opinion,two aspects could give compelling reasons to indicate the benefits which is brought by High-speed electronic communications media. Firstly, the technology has made it possible for us to communicate with whoever we want. Even though I'm in China and you're in U.S.A, we can talk freely with each other or even see mutually over the telephone. What you should do is only to pick up the phone and dial the numebr. Isn't it amazing?

  In the second place, modern multimedia technology renders our daily life more colorful and interesting. In one's leisure time, he may have many choices, such as go fishing, go shopping, reading and so on. But why not take a cup of coffee, sit in a soft sofa and turn on the TV set?

A wonderful and exciting NBA game is awaiting you. Besides, many people,especially youngsters, would go into raptures at the mere mention of internet. Undoubtfully, the net is now playing a more and more essential role in everybody's life. Business men use it to make money, schools use it for education and children play games on it. Internet is so powerful and useful that it knit the whole world together.

  Nevertheless, every coin has two sides, modern technology is not the exception. Along with the advantages it brings us, there are also many actual problems arising at the same time. I concede that many kinds of communication could provide the average people with convenience and freedom. But have we ever considered that what is behind these benefit? Maybe an investigation which shows that there is an increasing number of people who feel lonely is the best illustration. In the past years, although wo had to write a letter in ink and go to the postoffice to send it out, yet the letters that we wrote with a pen include our really emotion. It is different from present E-mails which are identically typed on the computer. I think the recievers will have variant feelings when they recieve a letter and an E-mail.

  To sum up, I still maintain the idea that traditional communication ways can't be substituted by the modern technology. The latter one makes our living comfortable and convenient, but the former one connects our emotion with others.

yubeckhamUID: 2331621

余思行—修改
文章文笔不错喔，继续加油的
建议：第一段你提出了自己的观点是赞成作者观点，即否定的观点，那为什么正面的东西反而写得那么多呢？掉转才对，正面的写一段，反面的3段。
      而且个人觉得好象你文章的内容不太符合题目要求，对prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication讨论得比较少，而集中讨论在出现新事物的优缺点上
如果机构来说我比到4—5分之间
但是切题我比2分左右
当然这是我的看法，欢迎批评和指教，谢谢的

陈星君UID: 2416582

issue151 "High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication."
  
  The speaker asserts that modern communication technologies have kept us away from communicating meaningfully and thoughtfully. As for me, I agree with speaker on the basic notion that although [the] high-speed electronic communications media bings[去s题目中tend 没加s] about convenient, it is[改they are] not without its[their] disadvandages. Feeling lonely, being apart from each other etc. are the main problems that modern technologoies bring to us.

  There is no denying that, since The Idustrial Revolution in Britain, human beings have created a huge number of miracles one after another.The invention of Vapor Mechine propelled us into mechnilaze era. In addition, Thomas Edison's great invention--electric light, also brings about unlimited benefits. From then on, mankinds are no longer afraid of darkness. However, human beings are never satisfied with what they have already discovered. Our science and technology has been developing and improving all the time. Nowadays, an era that is prodominated by information technology has already advented.

  In my opinion,two aspects could give compelling reasons to indicate the benefits which is[are] brought by High-speed electronic communications media. Firstly, the technology[什么样的technology,computer还是电话...;后面has应该用复数吗] has made it possible for us to communicate with whoever we want. Even though I'm in China and you're in U.S.A, we can talk freely with each other or even see mutually over the telephone. What you should do is only to pick up the phone and dial the numebr. Isn't it amazing?

  In the second place, modern multimedia technology renders our daily life more colorful and interesting. In one's leisure time, he may have many choices, such as go fishing, go shopping, reading and so on. But why not take a cup of coffee, sit in a soft sofa and turn on the TV set?
A wonderful and exciting NBA game is awaiting you. Besides, many people,especially youngsters, would go into raptures at the mere mention of internet. Undoubtfully, the net is now playing a more and more essential role in everybody's life. Business men use it to make money, schools use it for education and children play games on it. Internet is so powerful and useful that it knit the whole world together.

  Nevertheless, every coin has two sides, modern technology is not the exception. Along with the advantages it brings us, there are also many actual problems arising at the same time. I concede that many kinds of communication could provide the average people with convenience and freedom. But have we ever considered that what is behind these benefit? Maybe an investigation which shows that there is an increasing number of people who feel lonely is the best illustration. In the past years, although wo[we] had to write a letter in ink and go to the postoffice to send it out, yet the letters that we wrote with a pen include[d] our really emotion. It is different from present E-mails which are identically typed on the computer. I think the recievers will have variant feelings when they recieve a letter and an E-mail.[E-mails----on the computer更能图文并茂(比起)letter 尽管这二者在文字的表叙中都include[d] our really emotion,所以这个例子只能说明E-mail更好.纯个人观点]

  To sum up, I still maintain the idea that traditional communication ways can't be substituted by the modern technology. The latter one makes our living comfortable and convenient, but the former one connects our emotion with others.