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[i习作temp] issue243(Aero小组)第一次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-12-13 14:21:51 |显示全部楼层
Issue 243 "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."
    Is the true value of a civilization reflected in its artistic creations?In my view the speaker unfairly generalizes.In other areas, especially the scientific accomplishments,its value should be recognizable.however, science is the thing which needs a long time to prove,it would take somebody eliminate its importance.so ,on this point,i will agree with the assertion.On the other hand, the physical sciences,its value must be tested over time before it can be confirmed.
    To begin with,learning about the conception of a civiliation.In the dictionary,it is an advanced state of intellectual, cultural, and material development in human society, marked by progress in the arts and sciences, the extensive use of writing, and the appearance of complex political and social institutions.People can know the value of the artistic creation--whether in music,visual arts or literature.The reason for this is simple:art can be judged at face value.There's nothing to be later proves or disproved,affirmed or discredited,or even improved upon or refined by further knowledge or newer technology.History is replete with examples of artistic creations immediately recognized,then later confirmed.Through his patronage, the Pope recognized Michelangelo's artistic creations,while the monarchs of Europe immediately recognized Mozart's greatness by granting him their most generous commissions.Mark Twain became a best-selling author and household name even during his lifetime.And the leaders of the modernist school of architecture marveled even as Frank Lloyd Wright was elevating their notions about archintecture to new aesthetic heights.
    And also,art for some people is heavenliness and can not be substituted.They admire the art,they think the development of a civilization is affluent in art.There are an important meanings about the literature creations .They go around for centuries,recorded the whole thing happened in the history and nowadays.That makes a lof sense to the offsprings.So people can extract the soul from them.Something from Shakespeare are widely known.Such as "Somethingis rotten in the state of Denmark(Hamlet)","It's all Greek to me(Julius Caesar)","I came,I saw,I conquered."And the music is a bridge to the heart of the man.People can not live without the music.It calls a menory,an area.Charactering on the civilization stones.If our world are full of artistic wind,that is the advanced state of cultural development in human society.
   
    In addition,scientific accomplishments can also help us,they make intellectual and material development.But it is a long process.In the sciences it is difficult to identify greatness without the benefit of historical perspective.Any scientific theory might be disproved tomorrow,thereby demoting the theorist's contribution to status of a civilization.The final objective of science, in my view,is to dicover truths about ous world, our universe, and ourselves.It is the development of the civilization.For example,many would consider reassuring the various laws and principles of physicswhich provide unifying explanations for what we observe in the physical world.These principls provide a life rule to an otherwise mysterious and perplexing world.
    In sum,the speaker overlooks the scientific accomplishments,he fails to recognize that in all our spirit and material world,sciense also plays an important part.In the final analysis,artistic creations and scientific accomplishments buildup the human's civilization.

第一次写,连频带凑,真是无从下手,请大家狠拍啊!!!!

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发表于 2007-12-16 00:09:36 |显示全部楼层
哥们  这次我拍你~~  大家互相学习~~
首先  一个习惯要注意  标点后面要有空格
第一段:
1.generalize 是及物动词
2.take sb do?
3.physical science 不需要s
4.没有看明白第一段的逻辑
science is the thing which needs a long time to prove,it would take somebody eliminate its importance.so ,on this point,i will agree with the assertion.
你是想说 "科学的发展水平不能在短时间内有所改善 所以 不用他衡量一个文明的价值是有一定道理的."吗?
首先  我觉得这个让步本身有问题  艺术的水平也不能在段时间内快速发展
其次  如果这个让步逻辑上没问题  那这里是否需要这个让步呢
接着的那个 on the other hand好象和之前表达的意思差不多嘛

第二段
1.上来第一句不成句
2.art can be judged at face value. There's nothing to be later proves or disproved,affirmed or discredited,or even improved upon or refined by further knowledge or newer technology.
艺术用价格衡量? 这个有待商榷. 接着你想说"艺术的价值是不变的"吗?
但是很多艺术家生前不得志,比如van gogh
3.这段篇幅这么大,但对中心的论证几乎不涉及,过长了

第三段
1.There are an important meanings ??
2.这段说了艺术(文学音乐)的作用 意义  你更多的说了他给人们带来了享受  人们需要艺术  但通过此来论证 艺术是衡量文明的标杆 理由不太充分  文明发达的标志仅仅是让人们觉得舒服的文明就是吗?  建议在过度几句  最后一句话有点CHINGLISH

第四段
相信如果用中文写的话  一定是片有思想的文字

从大的看  问题是轻重分配  应该在SCIENCE上更多说一点 或者二者差不多  毕竟你的观点是二者都重要  或者  作者忽略了科学

从小的看  细小错误很多

加油加油

我的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1  issue
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1  argu
欢迎拍

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发表于 2007-12-16 13:44:01 |显示全部楼层
Is the true value of a civilization reflected in its artistic creations? In my view the speaker unfairly generalizes. In other areas, especially the scientific accomplishments, its value should be recognizable (recognized). However, science is the thing which takes a long time to  be proved, it(which) would makes somebody eliminate its importance. so ,on this point, I agree with the assertion. On the other hand, the physical sciences, its value must be tested over time before it can be confirmed.
    To begin with, We should learn about the conception of a civiliation. In the dictionary, it is an advanced state of intellectual, cultural, and material development in human society, marked by progress in the arts and sciences, the extensive use of writing, and the appearance of complex political and social institutions. People can know the value of the artistic creation--whether in music, visual arts or literature. The reason for this is simple: art can be judged at superficial value. There's nothing to be later proved or disproved, affirmed or discredited, or even improved upon or refined by further knowledge or newer technology. (排比,让步很漂亮)History is replete with examples of artistic creations immediately recognized, then later confirmed. Through his patronage, the Pope recognized Michelangelo's artistic creations, while the monarchs of Europe immediately recognized Mozart's greatness by granting him their most generous commissions. Mark Twain became a best-selling author and household name even during his lifetime. And the leaders of the modernist school of architecture marveled even as Frank Lloyd Wright was elevating their notions about architecture to new aesthetic heights.
    And also, art for some people is heavenliness and can not be substituted. They admire the art, considering the development of a civilization affluent in art. There are important meanings about the literature creations .They go around for centuries, recording the whole thing happened in the history and nowadays. That makes a lot sense to the offspring. So people can extract the soul from them. Something from Shakespeare are widely known. Such as "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark(Hamlet)","It's all Greek to me(Julius Caesar)","I came, I saw, I conquered. "And the music is a bridge to the heart of the man. People can not live without the music. It calls a memory, an area, characterized  on the civilization stones. If our world are full of artistic wind, that is the advanced state of cultural development in human society.
   
    In addition, scientific accomplishments can also help us. They make intellectual and material development. But it is a long process. In the sciences it is difficult to identify greatness without the benefit of historical perspective. Any scientific theory might be disproved tomorrow, thereby demoting the theorist's contribution to status of a civilization. The final objective of science, in my view, is to discover truths about our world, our universe, and ourselves. It is the development of the civilization. For example, many would consider reassuring the various laws and principles of physics which provide unifying explanations for what we observe in the physical world. These principles provide a life rule to an otherwise mysterious and perplexing world.
    In sum, the speaker overlooks the scientific accomplishments, he fails to recognize that in all our spirit and material world, sciense also plays an important part. In the final analysis, artistic creations and scientific accomplishments buildup the human's civilization.

主要是从语法来看的,你把红色的部分和原文对照下,有些单词拼写和大小写错误
有些小问题上面那位仁兄提到了,我就不重复了.
整个文章更多谈用什么来衡量价值,是不是有点点离题了呢.
可能是我阅读和理解的问题,呵呵

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RE: issue243(Aero小组)第一次作业 [修改]

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