Issue48 Aero小组 第一篇issue

katu1204UID: 2355887

Issue48【Aero小组】第2次作业 憋了一晚上才憋出我的第一篇issue 希望大家能指出各方面的不足 先谢谢了

Issue 48

"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

As the author says, we do pay too much attention on significant individuals in the research of history. But it doesn’t mean we ignore the people not recorded in history. On the contrary, both the great men kept in our mind and the fellows never mentioned in the history have their impacts on the historical events.

No individuals do have the power of creating a turning point in history on their own. As Isaac Newton said,” If I have seen further [than certain other men], it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” No matter what we achieved or changed, we got the supports from all kinds of people. They might give us inspiration to create a fantastic invention, or accumulate enough theories we needed, and so on. It means every significant historic event or trend is made by the people we remember and not remember.

However, many reasons make us can only dig into researches of few famous people.

First of all, the limited time restricts the number of human being we can emphasize on in the research of history. We can’t pay the same amount of time to investigate every people joined in the historic events.

Some times, the ponderances of people make themselves remembered or forgot. Every people have their roles in history, but not all the people are the leading actors in the drama of history. Every revolution of the human civilization needs a leader and his fellows, but only the leader will be recognized hundreds of years later. For instance, we only remember Martin Luther King as the father figure in civil rights campaign but not others.And we just know that after thousands of experiments Thomas Edison found out the best material for lamp, the most significant invention in 19th century, but we don’t know who helped him to try all these kinds of materials. So, judging from the ponderances of different people, we decide whether he would be the leading role or not, and only the leading actors can get the spotlight on the stage of history.

Farther more, we admit that some people, having great contribution to the history, may be neglected in the history research. Even worse, some famous ones who are thought to be the leaders in some historic revolutions may have no connections to the historic events. It means some significant events in history were surely made not by the famous few, who we thought they have made it, but by groups of people who never be known.

As the analysis above, although we may neglect some great man in history and even pay some attention to the wrong persons, we can’t deny both the famous ones and the ones forgotten have their contributions in the history. And for some reason, we have to pay most our attention to the few vital figures.



[ 本帖最后由 katu1204 于 2007-12-22 14:21 编辑 ]

sheldenUID: 2338299

我来也  这次我拍你~~~ 加油  共同进步！
As the author says, we do pay too much attention on significant individuals in the research of history. But it doesn’t mean we ignore the people not recorded in the history(一般后面有OF短语或者其他定语成分才有THE). On the contrary, both the great men kept in our mind and the fellows never mentioned in the history have their impacts on the history events. However, many reasons make us can only dig into researches of few famous people.


First of all, the limited time restricts (restricted) the number of human being we can emphasize on in the research of history. We can’t pay the same amount of time to investigate every people joined in the history events. Some times, the ponderances of people make themselves remembered or forgotten. Every people have their roles in the history （同上）, but not all the people are the leading actors in the drama of history. Every revolution of the human civilizations needs(is constructed by) a leader and his fellows, but only the leader will be recognized hundreds of years later. For instance, we only remember Martin Luther King as the father figure in civil rights campaign but not others. And we just know that after thousands of experiments Thomas Edison found out the best material for lamp, the most significant invention in 19th century, but we don’t know who helpep him to try all these kinds of materials. So, judging from the ponderances of different people, we decide whether he would be the leading role or not, and only the leading actors can get the spotlight on the stage of history.On the other hand, no individuals do have the power of creating a turning point in history on their own. As Isaac Newton said,” If I have seen further [than certain other men], it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” No matter what we achieved or changed, we got the supports from all kinds of people. They might give us inspiration to create a fantastic invention, or accumulate enough theories we needed, and so on. It means every significant history event or trend is made by the people we remember and not remember. Farther more, we admit that some people, having great contribution to the history, may be neglected in the history research. Even worse, some famous ones who are thought to be the leaders in some history (historical) revolutions may have no connections to the history同上 events. It means some significant events in history were surely made not by the famous few, who we thought they have made it, but by groups of people who never be known.As the analysis above, although we may neglect some great man in history and pay some attention to the wrong persons, we can’t deny both the famous ones and the ones forgotten have their contributions in the history. And for some reason, we have to pay most our删除 attention to the few vital figures.

优点:思路非常清晰  展开很有条理 好样的

缺点:主要问题在语言功底 除了有些小错外  整体语言流畅性一般  这还得下点功夫  推荐我们组的WIZARD的文章  不错

加油  再接再厉

lingfozUID: 2435613

As the author says, we do pay too much attention on significant individuals in the research of history. But it doesn’t (书面最好用does not)mean we ignore the people not recorded in the (删掉~)history. On the contrary, both the great men kept in our mind and the fellows never mentioned in the history have their impacts on the history events. However, many reasons make us can only dig into researches of few famous people. （这段有些模糊，没有明确的表达你的观点）

First of all, the limited time restricts the number of human being we can emphasize on in the research of history. We can’t pay the same amount of time to investigate every people joined in the history events.

Some times, the ponderances of people make them remembered or forgot. Every people have their roles (everyone have his roles)in the history, but not all the people are the leading actors in the drama of history. Every revolution of the human civilization needs a leader and his fellows, but only the leader will be recognized hundreds of years later. For instance, we only remember Martin Luther King as the father figure in civil rights campaign but not others.And we just know that after thousands of experiments Thomas Edison found out the best material for lamp, the most significant invention in 19th century, but we don’t know who help him to try all these kinds of materials. So, judging from the ponderances of different people, we decide whether he would be the leading role or not, and only the leading actors can get the spotlight on the stage of history.

On the other hand, no individuals do have the power of creating a turning point in history on their own. As Isaac Newton said,” If I have seen further [than certain other men], it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” No matter what we achieved or changed, we got the supports from all kinds of people. They might give us inspiration to create a fantastic invention, or accumulate enough theories we needed, and so on. It means every significant history event or trend is made by the people we remember and not remember.

Farther more, we admit that some people, having great contribution to the history, may be neglected in the history research. Even worse, some famous ones who are thought to be the leaders in some history revolutions may have no connections to the history events. It means some significant events in history were surely made not by the famous few, who we thought they have made it, but by groups of people who never be known.（加上例子更有说服力）

As the analysis above, although we may neglect some great man in history and pay some attention to the wrong persons, we can’t deny both the famous ones and the ones forgotten have their contributions in the history. And for some reason, we have to pay most our attention to the few vital figures.


１．论证前面论述关注历史人物的理由，后面２段都是论述人们群众的重大作用，感觉最后结尾处提出我们还是应该更关注历史人物有些突然，缺乏说服力．
２．注意定冠词的使用，这篇文章中用的貌似太多了点．
３．句式和用词略显简单，不过这是第一篇，加油哦～

有些地方可能说的并不正确，希望你指出来我们继续讨论。
期待你的回拍．