argument26[Areo小组]第四次作业

孑。。。UID: 2371205

Argument26.
The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."




argument26

In this memo, the chairperson recommends that the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. To justify his assertion, he provides the facts that Stell City High school has won three regional band competitions and that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years when Mr. Schade has been the director. This may seem reasonable in some degree, however, after further thinking, I find the argument unpersuasive for the following reasons.
In the first place, there's no evidence to warrant the assumption of the author that the achievements that the winning of competitions of Stell City High School and the improvements of instruments facilities should be ascribed to Mr. Schade. Since the author fails to offer enough information about this, it is surely possible that the victories in the band competitions are because the hardworking of the band members, even simply some luck, but have nothing to do with the ability of Mr. Schade. The same as the improvement of instruments facilities, this can be caused by more distribution of finance for the instruments facilities these years rather than the efforts of Mr. Schade.
In the second place, even assuming that it is Mr. Schade have attributed for all the achievements, it is unwarranted that the abilities of directing the band to win in the competitions and improving the instruments facilities can ensure Mr. Schade can succeed in directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. Experiences show us that directing the general music education programs especially for the entire school system can be quite different from simply directing the band and improving the instruments facilities for obviously the former require far more foreseeing ability. Therefore lacking the information about Mr. Schade's ability in this respect or evidences which can justify the similarity of the two positions, I can hardly agree with the arguer.
In the last place, although we accept that Mr. Schade can do good in the job of directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system, I still cannot conclude that we should hire Mr. Schade because the author fails to consider the possibility that there may be some other candidates who are more proper for this position.
To sum up, unless the author rule out other possible reasons that may lead to the winning of band competitions and improvements of instruments facilities, and also offer sufficient evidences to convince us Mr. Schade is suitable for this position and more proper than other candidates, I will turn to believe his opinions.

[ 本帖最后由 孑。。。 于 2008-1-1 23:42 编辑 ]

beetle1986UID: 2431214

In this memo, the chairperson recommends that the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. To justify his assertion, he provides the facts that Steel City High school has won three regional band competitions and that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years when Mr. Schade has been (was) the director. This may seem reasonable in some degree, however, after further thinking, I find the argument unpersuasive for the following reasons.

In the first place, there's no evidence to warrant the assumption of the author that the achievements that the winning of competitions of Steel City High School and the improvements of instruments facilities should be ascribed to Mr. Schade. Since the author fails to offer enough information about this, it is surely possible that the victories in the band competitions are because the hardworking of the band members, even simply some luck, but have nothing to do with the ability of Mr. Schade. The same as the improvement(前面那个improvement是复数？) of instruments facilities, this can be caused by more distribution of finance for the instruments facilities these years rather than the efforts of Mr. Schade.

In the second place, even assuming that it is Mr. Schade have attributed for all the achievements, it is unwarranted that the abilities of directing the band to win in the competitions and improving the instruments facilities can ensure Mr. Schade can(also) succeed in directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. Experiences show us that directing the general music education programs especially for the entire school system can be quite different from simply directing the band and improving the instruments facilities for obviously the former require far more foreseeing ability. Therefore lacking the(删去) information about Mr. Schade's ability in this respect or evidences which can justify the similarity of the two positions, I can hardly agree with the arguer.
In the last place, although we accept that Mr. Schade can do good in the job of directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system, I still cannot conclude that we should hire Mr. Schade because the author fails to consider the possibility that there may be some other candidates who are more proper for this position. (这段有些短。再展开点也可以啊，怎么不写了呢。各个论证段落还是平衡点比较好)

To sum up, unless the author rule out other possible reasons that may lead to the winning of band competitions and improvements of instruments facilities, and also offer sufficient evidences to convince us Mr. Schade is suitable for this position and more proper than other candidates, I will（won’t吧,前面的是unless） turn to believe his opinions.

bigyanUID: 2382427

In this memo, the chairperson recommends that the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. To justify his assertion, he provides the facts that Stell City High school has won three regional band competitions and that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years when Mr. Schade has been the director. This may seem reasonable in some degree, however, after further thinking, I find the argument unpersuasive for the following reasons.
In the first place, there's no evidence to warrant the assumption of the author that the achievements that(这里没有必要用从句吧，加个of就好） the winning of competitions of Stell City High School and the improvements of instruments facilities should be ascribed to Mr. Schade. Since the author fails to offer enough information about this, it is surely possible that the victories in the band competitions are because the hardworking of the band members, even simply some luck, but have nothing to do with the ability of Mr. Schade. The same as the improvement of instruments facilities, this can be caused by more distribution of finance for the instruments facilities these years rather than the efforts of Mr. Schade.
In the second place, even assuming that it is Mr. Schade have attributed for all the achievements, it is unwarranted that the abilities of directing the band to win in the competitions and improving the instruments facilities can ensure Mr. Schade can succeed in directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. Experiences show us that directing the general music education programs especially for the entire school system can be quite different from simply directing the band and improving the instruments facilities for obviously the former require far more foreseeing ability. Therefore lacking the information about Mr. Schade's ability in this respect or evidences which can justify the similarity of the two positions, I can hardly agree with the arguer.
In the last place, although we accept that Mr. Schade can do good in the job of （at)directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system, I still cannot conclude that we should hire Mr. Schade because the author fails to consider the possibility that there may be some other candidates who are more proper for this position. (这一段的理由有些牵强，而且要想说服别人，也应该展开一些）
To sum up, unless the author rule out other possible reasons that may lead to the winning of band competitions and improvements of instruments facilities, and also offer sufficient evidences to convince us Mr. Schade is suitable for this position and more proper than other candidates, I will turn to believe his opinions.