issue36【0806G-champion小组】第1次作业

Scofield_thuUID: 2447386

36. （历史）（124次）"Thegreatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, notby their contemporaries."
（红色字体和括号里的表示自己拿不准的）
When it comes to question the judgment or evaluation onthe greatness of someone regardless whether he or she is alive or not, the answer can not be a quick one because it maybe changes according to the variety of time and location. But I can make (or it is )certain that the greatness of individuals has nothing to do with who can decide it or when. It can be judged not only by their contemporary people, but also by their offspring as long as the judgment is according to the contribution to the society and the common interests of mankind, say great good.
The contributions or the greatness of individuals are various in different kinds. Some is good for short term, while the others have prolong impact in the long run which result different effect on whether an individual is regard as a great one by men living in the same era or thefollowing generation.
Admittedly there are a lot of people who are recognizedas great man for their achievement when they are still active in their fields. There are two obvious evidences as follows. One is Billl Gates who is the founder ofMicrosoft the biggest international software corporation. He is well-known by his software product "Windows" which is changing people’s mind and manuals to use computer and also helps him to earn a huge wealth. Another example is MartinLuther King who was the leader of demonstration/movement against race discrimination and devoted his whole life for the civil right of black man living in America. He got well respect and admiration by his advocates before he was assassinated. No matter they are alive or not, the people around the world can’t wait to give acknowledgement to the greatness of the two great men.
Compared to the man who is lucky enough to be awarded by his contemporary society, there still exited lots geniuses in history that lived miserable lives and were unknown to public all through their lives untileven hundreds years ago those who lives after them discover and understand the true value of their work. Though these geniuses are not accepted by the fellows around them or the whole society, they real did extraordinary achievement that will not forget by the history. The Philosopher Giordano Bruno is such good example. He was an advocate and broadcaster of Copernicus’ idea about the nature of the universeand firmly believed that the earth is not the center of universe, which was againstthe contemporary ideology hold by Catholic Church at that time. Finally Bruno was burned to death on the flower-square in Roma where a monument was built up hundredsyears ago for the memory of his great courage and  spirit fighting for truth.
Form the examples depicted above, we can draw aconclusion. The greatness of people can neither be changed by some prestigious persons or predominant ideologies for certain time frame in history, nor absurdly determined by the time span that it takes to discover the values of those giants. It is only the work or contribution itself people did to the mankind and society that most matters and deserve the glorious record by the history.

[ 本帖最后由 Scofield_thu 于 2008-1-14 21:09 编辑 ]

hischildUID: 2143480

When it comes to question the judgment or evaluation on the greatness of someone regardless whether he or she is alive or not, the answer can not be a quick one because it maybe changes according to the variety of time and locations. But I can make (用 it is) certain that the greatness of individuals has nothing to do with who can decide it or when. It can be judged not only by their contemporary people (people living in the same time), but also by their offspring as long as the judgment is according to the contribution to the society and the common interests of mankind, say great good.(突然出现这么一句很唐突)
The contributions or the greatness of individuals are various in different kinds（删）. Some is good for short term, while the others have prolong impact in the long run（term）which result to different effect on whether an individual is regard as a great one by men living in the same era or the following generation. （阐述不够啊，只是放出大道理，很空，不如并到其它段落里…还有把最后的句子拆成短句吧）
Admittedly there are a lot of people who are recognized （regarded）as great man for their achievement when they are still active in their fields. There are two obvious evidences as follows. One is Billl Gates who is the founder of Microsoft, the biggest international software corporation. He is well-known by (for) his software product "Windows" which is changing(changes) people’s mind and manuals to use computer and also helps him to earn a huge wealth. Another example is Martin Luther King who was the leader of demonstration/movement against race discrimination and devoted his whole life for the civil right of black man living in America(分成另一句，与上句无法形成严密的并列关系). He got well （considerable）respect and admiration by his advocates before he was assassinated. No matter they are alive or not, the people around the world can’t wait to giveacknowledgement (show respect更恰当吧？)  to the greatness of the two great men.
Compared to the man who is lucky enough to be awarded by his contemporary society, there still exited lots geniuses in history that lived miserable lives and were unknown to public all through their lives until even hundreds years ago those who lives after them discover and understand the true value of their work.（这个句子绝对有问题！主干都无法剥出来） Though these geniuses are not accepted by the fellows around them or the whole society, they real did extraordinary achievement that will not forget by the history（前后时态不对应）. The Philosopher Giordano Bruno is such good example. He was an advocate and broadcaster of Copernicus’ idea about the nature of the universe and firmly believed that the earth is not the center of universe, which was against the contemporary ideology hold by Catholic Church（非特指某天主教堂不用大写吧？） at that time. Finally Bruno was burned to death on the flower-square in Roma where a monument was built up hundreds years ago for the memory of his great courage and spirit fighting for truth.
Form the examples depicted above, we can draw a conclusion. The greatness of people can neither be changed by some prestigious persons or predominant ideologies for certain time frame in history, nor absurdly determined by the time span that it takes to discover the values of those giants. It is only the work or contribution itself people did to the mankind and society that most matters and these contributions deserve the glorious record by the history.

1,注意并列句的前后一致，用词多样，很好的~~~
2.用长句子还是要慎重啊，主要是要说清问题。
3.蓝色是加的，绿底的感觉是可以删的~~

[ 本帖最后由 hischild 于 2008-1-17 11:39 编辑 ]

Scofield_thuUID: 2447386

我比较习惯用长句子，可能是科技文献看的比较多，喜欢一口气把东西说清楚。时态确实没注意好，应该多注意点。

还有一个地方发现老大经常判错：
in the long run有这种用法的。

Compared to the man who is lucky enough to be awarded by his contemporary society,therestill exited lots geniuses in history that lived miserable lives andwere unknown to public all through their lives until even hundredsyears ago those who lives after them discover and understand the truevalue of their work.（这个句子绝对有问题！主干都无法剥出来）

主干就是红色字体的啊，其他的都是状语啊，形容定语从句等