ISSUE185 【Aero小组】第6次作业

lovemxfUID: 2335206

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 402          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-1-15 17:18:02
The speaker states that scandals are useful because they make people to focus on them in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. I agree with the speaker that scandals are very useful sometimes. However, some scandals without any worth may distract our attention from the important things.
The first reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that scandals make us concentrate on the problems which we neglects and never pay any attention. For example, people’s buying behavior is often induced by well-known brands or advertisement. But scandals will give a good lesson to people. There is a famous drug for treatment of influenza in China which once was advocated by advertisement on the television. Many people bought it for the advertisement. Until the authority revealed that it contained a substance that would cause people to have cancer. Now Chinese people pay much attention on the composition of drugs and not only follow by the advertisement when they buy drugs. Many scandals like this improve people’s behavior more rational and reasonable.
The second reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that scandals reveal some problems and force people or government to solve them. Many significant scandals originate from serious problems in the system or laws. For example, Water Gate Scandal tells us that laws must limit and control the special power. Otherwise, citizenry would be deceived and manipulated. What is more it also easily generates an autocratic and corrupt leader. Another example is in the academia areas. Government enacts laws when some people’s behavior of copying others' papers even their ideas was disclosed. Therefore, our improvement of laws and legislation sometimes is due to these scandals.
However, there are also some worthless scandals in the society which distract people's attention from important things. For example, some unpopular actors or actress deliberately manufacture some scandals to draw residents’ attention. Moreover, media such as news paper and television show the scandal in the most eye-catching position to increase profit. Through this way, it could let everyone know him or her. However, it has no use for any people except the director who directed the scandal.
To sum up, some scandals are useful to us and society for it focusing our attention to the problems once be neglected and promoting the improvement of our legal system. However, there are also some scandals without any useful effect, so we need to value them case by case.



[ 本帖最后由 lovemxf 于 2008-1-15 20:01 编辑 ]

xuj401UID: 2434494

ISSUE185 【Aero小组】第6次作业

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 402      TIME: 00:45:00      DATE: 2008-1-15 17:18:02
The speaker states that scandals are useful because they make people to focus on them in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. I agree with the speaker that scandals are very useful sometimes. However, some scandals without any worth may distract our attention from the important things.
The first reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that scandals make us concentrate on the problems which we neglects and never pay any attention. For example, people¡¯s buying behavior is often induced by well-known brands or advertisement. But scandals will give a good lesson to people. There is a famous drug for treatment of  influenza in China which once was advocated by advertisement on the television. Many people bought it for the advertisement. Until the authority revealed that it contained a substance that would cause people to have cancer. Now Chinese people pay much attention on the composition of drugs and not only follow by the advertisement when they buy drugs. Many scandals like this improve people¡¯s behavior more rational and reasonable.（你的这一段所引用的例子好像有点偏题哦，题目是谈scandals 的 ）
The second reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that scandals reveal some problems and force people or government to solve them. Many significant scandals originate from serious problems in the system or laws. For example, Water Gate Scandal tells us that laws must limit and control the special power. Otherwise, citizenry would be deceived and manipulated. What is more （what's more,）it also easily generates an autocratic and corrupt leader. Another example is in the academia areas. Government enacts laws when some people¡¯s behavior of copying others' papers even their ideas was disclosed. Therefore, our improvement of laws and legislation sometimes is due to these scandals.
However, there are also some worthless scandals in the society which distract people's attention from important things. For example, some unpopular actors or actress deliberately manufacture some scandals to draw residents¡¯ attention. Moreover, media such as news paper and television show the scandal in the most eye-catching position to increase profit. Through this way, it could let everyone know him or her. However, it has no use for any people except the director who directed the scandal.
To sum up, some scandals are useful to us and society for it focusing our attention to the problems once be neglected and promoting the improvement of our legal system. However, there are also some scandals without any useful effect, so we need to value them case by case.
文章的结构不错，但是在语言上还要多多的学习北美范文哦

feijizhizaoUID: 2358452

粗看了一下，我认为第二段的例子没有错，是在说药品广告丑闻的，我觉得这个丑闻应该广义地理解一下，不光包括政治名人，影视明星什么的，也应该包括一些家喻户晓的品牌和产品什么的，从这点看例子没什么问题；

关于第三段里那个what is more，其实按GRE作文要求的standard written english来说的话，这个短语是不应该缩写的，就应该用what is more

总体感觉思路清晰，只是觉得论述的深度还有些不够，除了例子外是否还可以在论述展开上多加些言语:)

lovemxfUID: 2335206

thank you!

lovemxfUID: 2335206

我现在也在着重提高自己的语言.谢谢

liuyingbnuUID: 2321970

The speaker states that scandals are useful because they make (make sb. to do 显得有点生硬) people to focus on them in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. I agree with the speaker that scandals are very useful sometimes. However, some scandals without any worth may distract our attention from the important things.
The first reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that scandals make us concentrate on the problems which we neglects and（or） never pay any attention. For example, people’s buying behavior (people’s behavior of purchase) is often induced by well-known brands or advertisement. But scandals will give a good lesson to people. There is a famous drug for treatment of influenza in China which once was advocated by advertisement on the television. Many people bought it for the advertisement. Until the authority revealed that it contained a substance that would cause people to have cancer (it contained a substance and people who take it are exposed to high risk of cancer). Now Chinese people pay much attention on the composition of drugs and not only follow by(去掉by) the advertisement when they buy drugs. Many scandals like this improve people’s behavior more rational and reasonable. 举例很新颖，身边的例子也更要说服力。
The second reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that scandals reveal some problems and force people or government to solve them. Many significant scandals originate from serious problems in the system or laws. For example, Water Gate Scandal tells us that laws must limit and control the special power（?special power）. Otherwise, citizenry would be deceived and manipulated. What is more (,) it also easily generates an autocratic and corrupt leader. Another example is in the academia areas. Government enacts laws when some people’s behavior of copying others' papers even their ideas was disclosed. Therefore, our improvement of laws and legislation sometimes is due to these scandals.
However, there are also some worthless scandals in the society which distract people's attention from important things. For example, some unpopular actors or actress deliberately manufacture some scandals to draw residents’ attention. Moreover, media such as news paper（newspaper） and television show the scandal in the most eye-catching position to increase profit(profits). Through this way, it could let everyone know him or her. However, it has no use for any people except the director who directed the scandal.(这句话表达的有点奇怪，不太顺)
To sum up, some scandals are useful to us and society for it focusing our attention to the problems once be neglected and promoting the improvement of our legal system. However, there are also some scandals without any useful effect, so we need to value（evaluate） them case by case.
结构很清晰，每段大意也表达地很明确。举例贴近，只是语言方面还需要注意，觉得你用make, let这种词比较多，可以考虑换种表达方式。