ISSUE41 【Aero小组】第7次作业

lovemxfUID: 2335206

TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS: 459(584gaihou)         TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-1-20 11:04:00

The speaker claims that nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs which are not handled by mainstream science. It is true that such nonmainstream give human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very harmful to individual, even society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.

Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For first reason, these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choice. Everyone often face crucial choice in his or her life that everyone wants to choose the good one rather than the poor one. On the contrary, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings. To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction of god. For second reason, the nonmainstream could give a confidence that there is "another world" where the dead people live there. People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired. For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for them providing the answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-know for their discovery and contribution to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reason, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society.

However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for many people deeply depending on it. For one thing, it is difficult to judge it correct or not for the common people. Because it is the illogical and irrational areas, the general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to many ridiculous and harmful things happened. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die and the dead would resurrect.  

Another reason is that trusting these subjects may due to people give their fate to others even be controlled or manipulated by others. Those people would not struggle for their life for regarding that their fate is determined by others. What is more, it would harmful to society and other people because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are deceived and manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.


To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feeling, yet they are irrational and illogical things that bring great harmful effect to persons even the society. Therefore we should control these subjects and education the common people with science to clearly realize the world.


[ 本帖最后由 lovemxf 于 2008-1-20 12:14 编辑 ]

lovemxfUID: 2335206

可能有一些语法错误,希望大家猛拍!!谢谢

sheldenUID: 2338299

The speaker claims that nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs which are not handled by mainstream science. It is true that such nonmainstream gives human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very harmful to individual, even society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For first reason, these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choice. Everyone often faces crucial choices in his or her life that everyone wants to choose the good one rather than the poor one. On the contrary, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings.和范文好像 但句子有点一般 everyone重复使用  下第二个可以考虑用they ，good找词替换吧 To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction of (provided by) god. For the second reason, the nonmainstream could give a confidence(offer a believe) that there is "another world" where the dead people live there去there 重复了. People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired. For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for them providing the answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-know for their discoveries and contributions to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reason, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society.


However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for many people deeply depending on it（to depend on）. For one thing, it is difficult to judge whether it is correct or not for the common people. Because it is the illogical and irrational areas(这个词不太好), the general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to many ridiculous and harmful things happened. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die and the dead would resurrect.  


Another reason is that trusting these subjects may due to Due to 使用不对  是副词短语people give their fate to others even be controlled or manipulated by others. Those people would not struggle for their life for regarding that their fate is determined by others. What is more, it would be harmful to society and other people because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are deceived and manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.


To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feelings, yet they are irrational and illogical things that bring great harmful effect to persons even the society. Therefore we should control these subjects and education the common people with science to clearly realize the world.

词汇是优势  语法没楼主担心的那么厉害  还可以的  句子差一些  写长了就饶了  不够清晰  加油

victkidUID: 2326283

The speaker claims that nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs which are not handled by mainstream science. It is true that such nonmainstream gives human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very这个词口语化了一些 harmful to individual, even (to) society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.

Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For first reason(for the first), these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choices. Everyone often faces crucial choice in his or her life that everyone(重复了，改成we always可能好些） wants to choose the good one rather than the poor one. On the contrary这个词在这里勉强了一些，因为后面的话没有相反的意思, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings. To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction of god. For second reason, the nonmainstream could gives a confidence（confidence好像不可数） that there is "another world" where the dead people live there.删掉 People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers这个好像不是个好词 or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired. For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for them to provid the answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-known for their discoveries and contribution to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reasons, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society.(把believe改一下要好一点，因为主题句和相不相信没有关系。论证的是alleviates people to suffer from pain)

However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for many people deeply depending on it. For one thing, it is difficult to judge it correct or not for the common people. Because it is the illogical and irrational areas, the去掉这里的the general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to?lead to many ridiculous and harmful things happened. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die and the dead would resurrect.  

Another reason is that trusting these subjects may due to people give their fate to others even be controlled or manipulated by others.(这个主题句有些问题，因为这一段你不是论证的trusting,也没有必要论证是否trust） Those people would not struggle for their life for regarding that their fate is determined by others. What is more, it would harmful to society and other people because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are deceived and manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.


To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feeling, yet they are irrational and illogical things that bring great harmful effect to persons even the society. Therefore we should control these subjects and educate the common people with science to clearly realize the world.

思路上很清晰，除了第三段第一句那里我认为可以修改一下。
要注意的问题就是单数和复数。我自己写的时候也总是不能避免。
其他都很好，用词也不错。有一小部分地方感觉有重复。

[ 本帖最后由 victkid 于 2008-1-25 01:54 编辑 ]

lovemxfUID: 2335206

I partly agree with the speaker that such nonmainstream gives human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very harmful to individual, even society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.
Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For the first reason, these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choice. Every person often faces crucial choices in his or her life and does not want to choose the poor one. Unfortunately, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings. To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction that provided by god. For the second reason, the nonmainstream could provide a convictionthat there is "another world" where the dead people live. People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired. For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for providing these answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-known for their discoveries and contributions to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reasons, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society.However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for many people deeply depending on it. For one thing, it is difficult to judge whetherit iscorrect or not for common people. Because it is belonging to non-logical and non-rational aspects, general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to many ridiculous and harmful things happened. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die and the dead would resurrect. Another reason is that people who trust these subjects may be controlled by others. Those people would not struggle for their life for their fixed destiny and some intentional people would have opportunities to cheat a large sum of money or wealth from these believers. What is more, it would be harmful to society and other people because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feelings, yet they bring great harmful effect to persons even society. Therefore we should control these subjects and educate common people with science to clearly realize the world.

修改后，针对上边的错误，我有做了一些修改。请大家拍这篇。谢谢。

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

I partly agree with the speaker that such nonmainstream gives human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very harmful to individual, even society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.

Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For the first reason, these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choice. Every person often faces crucial choices in his or her life and does not want to choose the poor one. Unfortunately, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings. To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction that provided by god. For the second reason, the nonmainstream个人觉得这样简写还是有不妥 could provide a conviction that there is "another world" where the dead people live. People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired.这样写似乎让读者产生误解：只要人们相信迷信，就真的可以跟死去的人交流。这样的观点本身有不确定性，用来论证自己的观点显得无力 For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for providing these answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-known for their discoveries and contributions to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reasons, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society. 我有很多观点是跟作者相似的，但是我主要是赞成题目的观点。多多指教啊！

However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for改成if之类的条件句比较好 many people deeply depending on it无论用for 还是if，后半句都是一个从句，所以要有完整的句子成分 ，不能用depending做谓语，而是用depend. For one thing, it is difficult to judge whetherit is correct or not for common people. Because it is belonging to non-logical and non-rational aspects, general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider whether the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to many ridiculous and harmful things happened去掉. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die 这句话的结构有点费解，the world would overturn后面接的that从句是算是什么成分？状语从句？宾语从句？ and the dead would resurrect. Another reason is that people who trust these subjects may be controlled by others. Those people would not struggle for their life for their fixed destiny明白作者想表达“因为命运是确定的，所以人们不会为自己的生命奋斗”这种意思，但是，连用两个for这样有点别扭 and some intentional people would have opportunities to cheat a large sum of money or wealth因为不能写成 a large sum of wealth，所以最好把wealth从这个并列中删去 from these believers. What is more, it would be harmful to society and other people同样 ，这里的other people做并列显得有点冗余 because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.

To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feelings, yet they bring great harmful effect to persons even to society. Therefore we should control these subjects and educate common people with science to clearly realize the world.

整体上，观点和逻辑都很好～楼主一贯的优点！
注意一下词语和句式的用法。1 并列成分要注意是不是互相包含，例如文中的society and other people就是一个例子
2 可能是写的太快，但是仍然要尽量小心句子各种成分的关系，尤其是介词带的状语，要注意是否有重复、同一个句子里面这样的介词状语太多就会有点让人费解
批狠了！别介意啊。你写的好，所以我才看的仔细啊！
还请多多指教啊

mingtian#UID: 2443577

I partly agree with the speaker that such nonmainstream gives human satisfaction to some extent. However, it is very harmful to individual, even society for the reason that they are irrational and illogical disciplines.
Admittedly, such nonmainstream alleviates people to suffer from pain for three reasons. For the first reason, these subjects may replace people themselves to make a choice. Every person often faces crucial choices in his or her life and does not want to choose the poor one. Unfortunately, not every choice is the better one. Therefore, those people must suffer from regret, sorrow and other painful feelings. To avoid these circumstances, many individuals want to utilize astrology or fortune-tell to acquire a choice. If the choice is the poor one, they would comfort themselves that it is a direction that provided by god.(这个理由好  学习了！) For the second reason, the nonmainstream could provide a convictionthat there is "another world" where the dead people live. People often immerse in great grief for their dead lovers or relatives. Through these paranormal powers they could communicate with the people who are eagerly desired. For the last reason, many things now are still unexplained by science so people accept the nonmainstream subjects for providing these answers. For example, many great scientists who are well-known for their discoveries and contributions to the mainstream areas deeply believe in the existence of the supernatural forces, since the world are so wonderful that it is difficult to explain so many coincidences. For these reasons, many individuals believe in these nonmainstream areas in the society.（层次清晰，表达也很到位）
However, nonmainstream subjects are harmful to human society for many people deeply depending on it. For one thing, it is difficult to judge whetherit iscorrect or not for common people. Because it is belonging to non-logical and non-rational aspects, general people often think it is the instruction of god and they do not consider the implication is reasonable or not. These may due to many ridiculous and harmful things happened. For example, in 1990s, some people chose suicide because they faith in that the world would overturn that the alive would die and the dead would resurrect. Another reason is that people who trust these subjects may be controlled by others. Those people would not struggle for their life for their fixed destiny and some intentional people would have opportunities to cheat a large sum of money or wealth from these believers. What is more, it would be harmful to society and other people because they are easily deceived. For example, it happened in many countries that many advocated people attacked the government and then burned themselves because they are manipulated by some people with ulterior motives. In short, any government should control these nonmainstream behaviors with certain scopes to protect residents’ benefits and the stability of the society.（楼上的批改真是详细，那些错误不再一一指出了。个人意见：第二点和第三点都写会受人控制，可考虑合为一点）
To sum up, although such nonmainstream areas would release people's painful feelings, yet they bring great harmful effect to persons even society. Therefore we should control these subjects and educate common people with science to clearly realize the world.
楼主思路很清晰，上面提到的意见在此文中也做了改进，多多向你学习！